Walls Come Tumbling Down
by Welsh mama
Summary: Modern AU - Sequel to Perfect Delivery. Just as Sybil Crawley and Tom Branson are settling into their relationship, the lives of their siblings appear to be crumbling….perhaps there's just no such thing as happy ever after. Runner up in the Highclere Awards for best Sybil/Branson romance.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a sequel to my first story, Perfect Delivery. I would recommend reading it prior to starting this._

* * *

SIX MONTHS LATER…

Tom knew that something was wrong as soon as he opened the front door.

He'd had an early morning editorial meeting at the office, followed by a long, frustrating day in and around Westminster, during which very little had been accomplished or written. The Treasury's promised press conference concerning the Bank of England's recent projections had been postponed until the next morning and his Editor had not been pleased about having an eighth of a page to unexpectedly fill. Tom had returned to the office in order to dig out one of his 'page filler' articles, written some time previously for exactly this type of situation. However, it had made what would usually be considered the early shift, lengthen to a 13-hour day, not to mention the unexplained delay during his train home to Clapham. He felt utterly weary.

He had already sent Sybil a text to let her know when he would be home. They had been living together for six weeks, so didn't yet have an established routine. However, often when she returned home earlier than him, she would start making dinner and on the evenings when he was particularly late, may have eaten hers without him. It was now past 9.30pm and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to eat a full meal so late. She would usually call out a greeting from the kitchen or the living room, or on one very memorable evening from the bedroom, but tonight she had anticipated his arrival and was hovering in the hall.

"You OK?" he asked with concern and stepped forward to kiss her briefly on the lips. She nodded and helped take his coat off, hanging it on the hook by the front door. He raised an eyebrow and smiled in amusement; she didn't usually do that.

"Are you going to hand me my pipe and slippers now?"

She gave a distracted smile, indicating that she wasn't really listening, or couldn't concentrate, then walked into the living room in front of him.

"Do you want a beer?" she asked over her shoulder

"Yes please. Have you eaten?"

"No. Sorry, I haven't even cooked, are you hungry?"

"Not really, I'm beyond it…..I had a doughnut at around seven…." He sighed briefly and pulled at the top of his trousers "God…I've got to stop eating those, I'm going to become one of those stereotype journalists that you see in TV dramas, constantly scoffing junk out of paper bags with my waistline hanging over my belt…why haven't you had anything to eat though?"

Sybil returned from the kitchen and held out a bottle of beer.

"Thanks….well?"

"Mary rang."

"Right, so were you just chatting?" he eased himself down on to the sofa and gave an involuntary sound of relaxation.

"No….." Sybil chewed her lower lip in that way she always did when she was considering something, or was anxious. "Apparently, Matthew asked her to marry him the weekend before last."

"That's fantastic!" Tom beamed and leant forward a little. "What great news….he's a dark horse isn't he…..I had an email from him earlier this week and he didn't mention anything about it…."

"That's because she turned him down."

"WHAT?" Tom looked at her incredulously and she made an uneasy face, half shrugging her shoulders to indicate that she couldn't really explain it either.

"Why would she do that…?" Tom continued "Oh God, poor Matt…..I mean, they've been together, what….almost three years?...I thought they were going to start a practice together in York, wasn't that the plan…?"

"Yes"

"So what's changed?"

"Nothing apparently…..in Mary's eyes."

Tom shook his head "I'm sorry, you're going to have to explain that to me….You plan your life with someone, your entire professional future, you live with them and talk about preserving the future of Downton together and then you suddenly decide not to marry them?"

"She says it's not the right time."

"When is the right time?"

"I don't really know…." Sybil gave a heavy sigh and sat next to him on the sofa, comfortably placing a hand on his thigh. "She's always planned her life to the minute and apparently, she doesn't want to get married yet. She still wants to plan for the future practice and for Downton and stay living together, but she doesn't want to marry him yet. She just wants everything to stay as it is."

"On her terms."

"I guess so."

"And how is Matt?"

"He's moved out."

"Oh….for God's sake….." Tom leant back and placed the balls of his hands on his forehead in frustration.

"He's very hurt, apparently."

"Jesus, I'm not surprised. Honestly…." he shook his head, feeling at a loss to verbalise his antagonism towards Mary in front of Sybil. He took her hand. "If I proposed to you and you said no, I'd be…."

"…but I wouldn't…" Sybil interrupted and gave a brief, cheeky grin. He leant forward and gave her a kiss. It was a regular topic of jovial discussion between them, ever since Tom had inadvertently mentioned his likely intention when he had learned that Sybil's father was expecting it. They were so confident nowadays with each other's affections that the conversation held no genuine anxiety for either of them. Sybil was in no particular hurry to have an engagement ring on her finger and he was insistent that any such request would be wholly unexpected.

"But still….I feel ill just thinking about it….poor guy…"

"Anyway, Mary's pretty upset about it all…."

"Mary's upset…..?!"

"Well she wasn't expecting Matthew to leave like that."

"What was she expecting then?"

"That they would just carry on as they were."

"Until it suited Mary to get engaged?"

"I guess so."

"So she rang you for some sympathy then?"

"To talk to me about it, yes…she asked me if I'd go up there at the weekend."

"But you can't!" Tom turned in alarm, but Sybil shook her head reassuringly.

"Don't worry, she'd forgotten about Fiona and Niall's wedding, but….."

He looked warily at her. "But, what?"

"I said that I could go the following weekend….just Saturday and Sunday" she added hurriedly.

"But that's your birthday weekend!" he protested.

Sybil edged towards him on the sofa and put her arms around his neck, leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. "It's only Saturday and Sunday" she whispered "One night…..we'll come back from Dublin on the Thursday afternoon, then have all day Friday to ourselves and then I'll be back in plenty of time to spend my actual birthday with you on the Monday before we go back to work."

"But I wanted us to have the whole weekend together…" he was aware that he sounded like a spoiled child as he spoke.

"She's my sister and she needs me…." He raised his eyebrows briefly "…she hardly ever asks for my help…you know what she's like, she doesn't like to show weakness, but she has asked and I want to be there for her…come on Tom, you'd do it for one of your sisters…."

He slumped a little in his seat, indicating defeat. Of course he would, hadn't he practically offered to bring up his nephew, taken on all the parental responsibility involved with his sister's ante-natal care and be Aiden's primary male role model through his formative years? However, as he often reflected, his promises had all been made before meeting Sybil and he sometimes felt that they must now appear a little hollow. He visited regularly; they both did and enthusiastically took Aiden out at weekends in order to give Edie a break. However, the reality was that Aiden probably saw more of his Uncle Kieran than Tom nowadays and it made him feel guilty.

Kieran had moved down from Liverpool in May, having secured a job at the garage in which Tom had once worked. He'd spent a couple of weeks on what was then Edie and Tom's sofa bed before finding a flat share through the local paper, a couple of streets away. Tom had remained until Aiden was almost six months old, at which point Edie had joked that she needed his room; the little man was going through a restless stage and woke every time his mother turned over in bed. He'd hesitated, despite his overwhelming desire to move in with Sybil, feeling as if he was abandoning her, although he was still paying half of the rent. However, Edie had insisted that it was time for her to get used to the realities of being a single mother.

"OK, fine…" he turned to Sybil and offered a reassuring smile.

"Are you going to contact Matthew?"

"I don't know what to say, really. I mean, does he want me to know about it?"

"He'll know that we're all going to find out."

"I mean, we get on and everything, but I don't usually talk to him about my innermost feelings, so I'm a bit reluctant to contact him and ask him if he wants to talk…"

"What did he email you about earlier in the week?"

"Um…" he leant his head back and thought…"Liverpool's appalling defence last Saturday…that typing error in my article last Wednesday that I pointed out to you…..oh and that he might possibly be in London within the next two or three weeks…I haven't got back to him yet, so perhaps I'll suggest that we meet for a beer, if it's after we get back from Dublin."

"Well if we each find out what the other one is thinking, then maybe we can help them?"

He smiled fondly at her and squeezed her hand "Maybe….but we might just need to accept that we can't. They're both grown-ups. Let's just see, eh?"

He got up and went into the kitchen, sticking some bread in the toaster and pulling the butter out of the fridge. Sybil followed him.

"Can you put some in for me too please?"

"Sorry, yes….I'd forgotten you said you hadn't eaten either…so what do you want to do for your birthday, then?"

She shrugged "I don't mind, really. Just a nice meal somewhere?"

"No party?"

She shook her head determinedly. "There's nothing special about being 23."

"Do you want to invite anyone…Anna?...Gwen….girls from work?"

"No…I just want to spend it with you, really….I haven't had a birthday with you before."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and she laced her fingers behind his neck, reaching up for a long kiss.

"It'll soon be a year…Syb"

"I know" she smiled "when is our anniversary then?...the date of the first time we went out, or the first time we kissed….not the first time we met at the hospital…."

"…or the time you bit my head off at the garage…."

"The cinema and kiss, I suppose….as you didn't kiss me that first time we went out…."

"Well, I had to keep trying to reel you in at that point…."

She looked coyly at him and then turned round to pull a couple of plates out of a cupboard. He leant back and smiled indulgently at her as she opened a drawer and took out knives, then set them out at the table. One of the few things which betrayed her aristocratic background was her compulsion to sit down and eat properly at a table; there was no standing up and eating toast, while leaning against the counter, as Tom may have done under such circumstances.

"Well you decide where you want to go and eat on your birthday, then and we'll talk about something special for our anniversary nearer the time."

He was more than satisfied to have her to himself on her special day, but he wanted to ensure that it was memorable, regardless of it being an insignificant age. After all, she had gone to a great deal of trouble for his 30th earlier in the year. It had fallen mid-week, so she had taken him to his favourite local restaurant in the evening, but had booked a function room over a local pub on the following Saturday evening. Banning him from going anywhere near it during the afternoon, she, Mary and Matthew had decorated it with balloons, banners and number 30 confetti spread out on all the tables. She had invited all of his friends from football, a couple of his then very new colleagues at The Guardian and had even managed to organise a babysitter for Edie, who had her first night out since Aiden's birth. Kieran had moved down to London the weekend prior and came along with his new and Tom's former workmates from the garage. Sybil had organised a buffet, a soundtrack featuring all his favourite music and it had been a thoroughly enjoyable evening, making his subconscious dread of hitting such a momentous age rather redundant.

The next morning, Tom sent Matthew an email, confirming the dates in which he would be in Ireland and suggesting that they meet if he was in London afterwards. _'Sybil spoke to Mary last night – we are both very sorry to hear your news.'_ He considered writing more, expressing his wish to keep in touch regardless. He liked Matthew immensely and had done so from the first time they had met; he felt that they could be friends regardless of their relationships with sisters. However, they had only met a handful of times and he wasn't sure about the practicalities of keeping in touch if he and Mary were to part permanently. In the end, he decided that his offer to meet up for a drink was evidence of his friendship and that he would see how the situation evolved.

That evening, he met up with his brother for a drink in a pub near Clapham Junction station. Kieran was chatting happily to the barman and another customer when he entered, his easy going nature and approachability ensured that he already knew more people in the locality than Tom.

"Thanks" said Tom as Kieran brought two pints over to a table at the back of the room. "You all set for the weekend?"

"Of course. Have you got your speech ready?" In the absence of their father, Tom was giving Fiona away and taking on the other responsibilities for the day.

"Pretty much. I've been practicing…Sybil probably knows it off by heart, so if I'm ill or anything, she can take over…"

Kieran smiled. "It's all quite grown up, isn't it? One of us getting married…"

"Well, Edie's got a baby, I'd say that's more grown up than getting married to be honest."

"Ah….you're all leaving me behind….marriage, babies, living together…..mind you, you've been there before…"

"For God's sake, don't say that in front of Sybil."

Kieran looked at his brother in surprise "Doesn't she know about Charlotte then?"

"Of course she does, but it's a bit of a sensitive subject, that's all."

"Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise, Tom….?"

Tom shook his head. "No, it's fine…..she's excited about us living together and well…..she just doesn't like to be reminded that I've done it before with someone else, that's all…..think it tarnishes it for her a bit." He paused and sipped his pint. "It's completely different for me this time though…..last time it was just a bit of a laugh….and a rent saving device."

"As opposed to not paying any rent at all this time?"

Tom glared at him. "You pay half Edie's rent for her then."

"I'm only joking with you….."

"I know." They paused for a moment or two, before Tom continued.

"So, we'll pick you up at 8 o'clock on Friday to go to Gatwick…..make sure you're ready."

"I will be…I've actually got a date on Thursday night, but it's just the cinema and a drink…I promise to behave."

Tom raised his eyebrows "Who with?"

"A girl…..called Rhian…..she seems very nice."

"So, where did you meet her?"

"At the garage…she brought her car in and was very chatty, then she came back a couple of days later with various questions and I thought 'aye aye, she wants more than her carburettor fixed…'" Tom rolled his eyes and smiled.

"So you worked a bit of your charm, then?"

"Something like that….ah, we'll see, it's only a film and a drink…." Kieran looked down at the table and avoided Tom's gaze.

"I take it that you haven't heard any more from Gwen then?"

Kieran shook his head and swirled his drink in front of him. "I'm not expecting to now, really….she had her chance."

"I know she's really busy with her studies…." Tom tried to lamely offer a defence but Kieran shook his head.

"I think she just used me, to be honest…." he offered a brief laugh "so there's irony for you…. it's probably karma for my behaviour in the past."

Tom shrugged. "I think she's a bit complicated personally….I don't think it was you…in fact Sybil's sure that she did really like you, but…"

"….oh, whatever." Kieran interrupted him with another shrug of the shoulders. "Time to move on…plenty more fish in the sea and all that….another pint?... have you got a pass to stay out?"

"I don't need a pass…so yes please, but I'll get them…."

As Tom waited at the bar, Kieran fiddled with his beer mat and inwardly sighed. His decision to move to London had been based on his family and previous lifestyle, but the prospect of seeing more of Gwen had seemed an added benefit to the choice. They had got on far better than he had expected when she visited him in Liverpool earlier in the year; once they had got the inevitable sex out of the way, he found that he really enjoyed her company and she made him laugh. He had appreciated the frankness about her ambition and an avoidance of any commitment for the future, in all honesty he had acted in a similar way with girls in the past. When he had come down to London a few weeks later in order to meet Aiden, they had continued where they had left off and he thought that they would probably continue casually, without making demands on one another, if he moved to the capital. Admittedly, he hadn't actually discussed this possibility with her, but then if they had no commitment with each other, then he didn't feel that he was obliged to. Two weeks before he moved, she had rung him on his mobile and aggressively berated his decision.

"I hope you're not coming down here because of me….I told you Kieran, I don't have time for a boyfriend…"

"Don't flatter yourself" he'd replied defensively.

"Well, don't think that we're going to be seeing each other whenever you feel like it…."

"I've got lots of other people to see…" he had taunted.

He had been a little irked, but not irrevocably and had happily forgiven her when she was all over him at Tom's birthday party. He'd ended up paying almost £100 for a hotel that night, as he was still staying with Tom and Edie, but it had seemed to be worth it at the time. He had sent her a casual text with his new address and she had invited herself to see it a couple of weeks later. Informing him that she was giving herself a weekend off her studies, she had stayed for over 48 hours and if he was honest, he had thought that things had moved on by the time she left. They'd spent most of it in bed, admittedly, but they'd talked for hours and he'd discussed his Dad for God's sake, he'd never previously spoken about his feelings concerning his death with anyone except Tom and his Mam. She had been a good listener too; sympathetic without appearing sycophantic and she'd shared some details concerning her life about which she confessed she had only ever spoken to Sybil. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this…" she'd laughed, wiping away her tears with bunched fists and he'd held her and kissed her and told her that her secrets were safe. Honestly, he thought she was great; gorgeous, funny, witty, clever, didn't take any nonsense from him and let's face it, he needed someone to put him in his place at times. Anyhow, she had left on the Sunday evening, kissed him passionately and told him that she would be in touch. Only she hadn't and it was over three months now. He had left it a while, before sending her a text and asking if she wanted to meet for a drink, but had received a short reply saying that she was really busy with her studies. Then he had forwarded her a link to an internet article which he thought would amuse her and had received a one word response – _thanks._ He had thought about contacting her again, but he knew avoidance tactics when he saw them, he had, after all used them to his advantage in the past. Sybil never mentioned her, he was pretty sure that she felt embarrassed about the situation and he didn't want to put her in a difficult position. So he had decided to move on and banish thoughts about her from his mind. When the pretty Welsh girl came to the garage and showed obvious signs of interest, it had seemed the ideal opportunity to divert his attention elsewhere.

His brother placed another pint before him and he smiled, leaning back in his chair. He was pleased that he had moved to London and enjoyed spending more time with Tom and Edie, not to mention being a devoted uncle to Aiden. He wasn't sure if he was getting old before his time, but it felt as if his family took precedence now. Although he had never been as academic as Tom, he admired his drive and ambition and was pleased that he had found happiness in his personal life. Years earlier, he had been wholly aware that his brother found him annoying and for the couple of years prior to their father's death, they had scarcely communicated. He appreciated the change to their relationship now and their growing friendship. His priorities were changing, but in the meantime, there was a serious topic for consideration.

"Come on Tom, get that down you! We have to get our drinking boots on….we've got an Irish wedding at the weekend!"


	2. Chapter 2

_I hearby do solemnly declare (are you listening, Downton Lover?!) that I will continue to give the characters of Tom and Sybil the care and devotion they deserve….this primarily remains their story, but the plot which surrounds it is impacted by others. I appreciate that this tale offers more angst than the last, but only because I want to portray that no couple strolls off into the sunset without a problem or two along the way. Almost all scenes will include at least one of them and I promise that there will be plenty which are exclusively both._

_Thank you for the initial positive comments – please continue to review (or start to if you haven't before…)_

* * *

Sybil felt her heart swell with pride as she turned around to see Tom leading Fiona down the aisle. He was smiling at members of the congregation as he passed, rubbing his sister's hand with his thumb to help calm her nerves. Fiona had a fixed beam on her face, her eyes focussed solely on the back of Niall's neck as he stood with his best man before the priest. When Tom reached the front, he glanced briefly to the left and flashed Sybil a quick grin, just as Niall turned around to greet his bride with a look of appreciative relief. Tom smiled at his new brother-in-law, kissed Fiona on the cheek and stepped aside to stand next to his mother. Elaine leant towards him and rested her hand on his arm. This was an emotional day for her; her happiness for her daughter mixed with regret that her husband had not lived to see his children begin to forge their own families.

Fiona handed her bouquet to one of her bridesmaids, just as the silence was broken by a loud squeal from Aiden, sitting on Edie's knee, next to Sybil. A collective laugh rang out from friends and family, relieved to break the nervous sensation of excitement and anticipation around the forthcoming event. The couple made their vows to one another and guests reflected on those they had made previously or may make one day in the future. Sybil was sitting in the second row, behind Tom, his mother and the bridesmaids and she and Kieran helped to entertain Aiden as he was passed along the pew, finding endless fascination with earrings and buttonholes, as well as prayer books which his chubby hands could hold and satisfactorily fling to the floor.

Although Sybil didn't consider herself particularly religious, she felt moved by some of the sentiment behind the ceremony. As the priest spoke gently to Fiona and Niall, *_"In becoming husband and wife you give yourselves to each other for life. You promise to be true and faithful, to support and cherish each other until death, so that your years together will be the living out in love of the pledge you now make."_ Tom's hand reached behind him and squeezed her right knee. She quickly placed her hand on his before he sat forward again and she exchanged a conspiratorial glance with Edie.

After the signing of the register, Fiona and Niall returned looking at last relaxed and radiant. Tom led Niall's mother behind them out of the church and the congregation followed them outside into the cloudy, but thankfully dry day. Sybil stayed back from the photographs, but was called forward by Elaine to stand in a Branson family pose.

"But I'm not…." she muttered with embarrassment, as other guests stared at her with curiosity. Tom's aristocratic girlfriend was a topic of frequent discussion and they were delighted to have an opportunity to gaze upon her.

"Ah, come on now" called Elaine cheerfully "I've no doubt that you one day will be…"

As Tom wrapped his arm around her waist and she turned to smile into the camera, Kieran leant towards her and whispered with a grin.

"Don't worry….if you ever leave him, we'll just photoshop you out…."

* * *

Sybil found herself sitting with Edie, Kieran and their aunt Shelagh's family, separated from Tom who was representing his father on the top table. Elaine's younger sister had met Sybil briefly when she had come over for Aiden's christening in June, but it had been such a flying visit that they had barely exchanged more than pleasantries at the time.

"Now don't you look lovely…" she said as the initial formalities ended and they tucked into their first course. "…beautiful dress, Sybil….very posh…"

"That's because she is posh, Mam…" muttered her teenage son, Daniel from her other side.

"Shhh" whispered Sybil, making the young man jump and his cheeks turn crimson "it's all a front you know….keep my secret for me, will you?"

"A front for what?" he asked hesitantly, feeling uncertain how to respond.

Sybil raised one eyebrow in a manner she had seen her sister Mary perform on many occasions. "I could tell you Daniel…." her voice turned to a low murmur "but I'm afraid that then I would have to kill you…." and she gave him a slow wink. He looked startled for a moment, glanced down at his soup and then looked up and grinned.

"Sybil, is it true that you're really a princess…?" Daniel's younger sister, Lauren leant forward to ask. Sybil smiled and shook her head.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no…..just a midwife."

"But don't you live in a castle?" the youngster continued.

"I'm afraid not, I live in a two bedroomed flat in South London….My Mum and Dad do live in a pretty big house, but it's not really a castle…"

"Have you met the Queen?"

"No…sorry.."

"Kate Middleton?" was the hopeful plea.

"No, none of them. My Dad has met the Queen and Prince Charles, but he didn't give me any gossip, I'm afraid."

"Haven't you met anyone famous?"

Sybil thought for a moment "a few boring British politicians, but I did go to uni with Robert Pattinson's cousin….is that any good?". Lauren shrugged non-committedly and returned to her meal.

"Well, we've all heard how you saved the day when Aiden arrived" said Shelagh smiling.

"Luckily, I'm in the right job" replied Sybil

"Still….wasn't it a bit frightening?"

"Um…yes, a little, but fortunately, there weren't any problems so it all turned out ok."

"And Tom's moved in with you now, I hear?"

"Yes…" Sybil nodded and glanced shyly at his aunt.

"Well, he's clearly smitten…"

"I'm glad to hear it!"

"He seems much more relaxed than when he was with that Char…." Shelagh coughed suddenly and concentrated on the meal before her. Glancing to her right, Sybil saw Edie roll her eyes and offer an apologetic glance.

In the pause between courses, Tom came over and kissed Sybil on the top of her head.

"Everything OK everyone?" he asked and was met by a sea of murmuring assent. He pulled at the front of his suit trousers and squatted down beside her.

"How are you feeling about the speech?" she asked, reaching forward and holding his hand gently. It had been difficult to write and Sybil had seen Tom become emotional about his father's passing for the first time as he struggled to adequately address his absence on such an important day, without deflecting from Fiona's celebration. He nodded and made an anxious face at her.

"Bit nervous to be honest….I'm not really tasting my dinner much…I just don't want to let Fiona down, you know?"

Sybil leant forward and kissed him. "You won't…" she said firmly. "It's very moving and fitting…they'll all cry, but in a good way…I'm sure…"

"If I go blank, will you mouth the words at me?"

"Of course….but you won't…."

* * *

Fiona turned and hugged Tom when he sat back down after his speech, wiping her eyes but assuring him that it had been wonderful. The guests coughed and smiled at one another as they applauded and the best man wondered how he could adequately follow on.

Tom accepted the glowing praise and appreciative pats on the back with good grace, but he pulled Sybil closely towards him at the first possible opportunity and moved her towards the side of the room, away from inquisitive eyes.

"You were great" she said and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He made a face "Really?...I felt as if I was on the verge of tears most of the way through it…"

"Honestly…I was really proud."

He smiled and kissed her. "Thanks. So how was your table? Did Shelagh give you a grilling?"

"A bit…but it wasn't too bad…..no it was fine, really…they're all lovely and Aiden kept us entertained."

"So you're enjoying your first Irish wedding, then?...think you might like to have one of your own one day?" he smiled and nuzzled her neck.

"If you think you're marrying me anywhere but Downton, then good luck…."

"Ah…." he nodded solemnly…."I guess we'll need to have that discussion at some point…"

"Well not until you ask me properly, we won't…."

"Patience, patience….."

"There's no Catholic church in Downton by the way…."

"Well I couldn't care less, but I expect Mam will have something to say about it."

Sybil looked seriously at him for a moment. "Do you want your children…..I mean, our children….to be Catholic?"

He gave a short, involuntary sigh and raised his eyebrows. "Now we're really having a big conversation…"

"Well weddings inspire me to think about the bigger questions, I suppose. Don't worry, I won't hold you to whatever you say, but we've never talked about it."

Tom offered a friendly smile at a cousin passing him and nodded at Kieran, who was at the bar waving his hand to ask if they wanted drinks.

"I suppose I've always presumed that my children would be Catholic, just because we all are and that's what everyone here does…..I've not really given it a great amount of thought though..." he smiled at her lovingly "…probably because until recently, I hadn't met anyone that I wanted to have them with….But it would be a bit hypocritical of me to insist on it when I don't go to church regularly, but mind you, neither do you."

"No, so I wouldn't mind just not having them christened at all and then let them make up their own mind when they're older."

"It's them now, is it…? How many are we having?" he teased.

"Who knows, I see so many sad stories at work that I'll be grateful for one."

"And what would your parents say about having a heathen grandchild, do you think?"

"Oh Dad would probably bluster quite a bit, but Mum would be OK. She's half Jewish anyway, so she's never had any fixed ideas about faith…..what would your Mum say?"

"I can quite confidently predict that she'd have a fit!...But it's not her decision to make…..she'd go on about the child going to hell if something happened…"

"Do you believe that?"

"I'm not sure what I believe, to be honest…..probably not that, no, but I do believe that there's something…." he turned and gratefully took a pint from Kieran who had appeared at their side and who passed Sybil her glass.

"We're just talking about our Catholic indoctrination, Kieran…do you think people go to hell if they're not christened?"

"Bloody hell Tom, we're at a wedding, not a funeral…. " he looked at Sybil with an eyebrow raised "is he always this much fun at home?!"

"It's my fault…" she admitted, grinning. "I'm interrogating him, instead of celebrating with him. I'll stop now…cheers everyone!"

After clinking glasses, Sybil reached for Tom's hand who gave it a squeeze. The vast differences in their backgrounds had never given her particular cause for concern; she basked in their mutual affection and gave scant consideration for circumstances outside of the narrow world they now shared. However as they prepared to face the future together, she was beginning to have a little appreciation of the compromise and conciliation that would be required.

* * *

"Right, we'll pick up the bus by Grafton Street and go from there." Tom declared as they sat on the local bus into Dublin City Centre two days later. They were both feeling fairly exhausted after two days of heavy celebration and hadn't left Elaine's house until midday. Sybil had made her first brief visit to Dublin three months earlier, after Edie had decided to have her son christened back in her home town. Having not attended church while in London, her request to conduct a service in Clapham had not been well received by the local priest, who also expressed disapproval at her unmarried status. Elaine had made enquiries at her local church, where Father Quinn, who had known the family for 15 years, agreed to perform the ceremony without blame or recrimination.

Both Tom and Kieran had been in the first weeks of their respective new jobs and were unable to take any leave, so they had all flown out on the Saturday morning, returning back to London after the Sunday service. Sybil's stay had been a whirlwind of meeting aunts, uncles and cousins and she had seen nothing of the city except on the journey to and from the airport. This time however, Tom had declared his intention to act as her guide and they had three days to explore before returning home.

On this first day, they had decided to take the open air city sightseeing bus, planning to return subsequently in order to visit sights which Sybil found of interest.

"So when was the last time you did this?" she asked excitedly "Or have you ever? I don't think I've been on the London one since I was a small child."

Tom looked out of the window, hoping to sound deliberately vague.

"Er…a few years ago, I guess.."

Sybil found herself glaring resentfully at the side of his head.

"With Charlotte, I suppose…." she muttered

Tom sighed quietly and took her hand. "It's what you do when you bring people to Dublin."

"And how many times did she come over with you?"

"Twice, I think."

She provided a sulky expression that would match any toddler. "Huh, well I've already matched her then…"

Tom put his arm around her and gave her shoulders a squeeze, leaning in to softly kiss her cheek. "It's not a competition, Syb…..and if it was, you'd win it, hands down, you know that."

Tom hadn't anticipated the jealousy that his previous attempt at co-habitation would create. Despite the inauspicious start to their own relationship, he knew that Sybil was at heart a kind and good natured woman. She could be feisty when her beliefs or opinions were challenged, argumentative if she felt that she had been misunderstood, but fundamentally she saw the best in people and situations. However, on this particular issue, he seemed unable to dispel the envy caused, despite his repeated assurances that the two experiences were incomparable. It was his own fault, in hindsight. He had unthinkingly said something so stupid and avoidable in the week prior to his moving into her flat. They had been in a pub after work, discussing household chores, including food shopping and how they would divide the task, when he had been distracted by football scores appearing on the TV up in the corner of the room.

"What do you think is the best way to do it?" Sybil had asked. Inadvertently and without thinking, he had replied

"Well Charlotte and I used to just take it in turns." He had regretted it instantly. Had he substituted the word Charlotte with his sister's name, then he felt sure that Sybil would have continued the discussion without angst. However, her lips had instantly pursed and she had taken a deep breath as he quickly tried to cover his tracks.

"But you know, we can do whatever you think best, Syb….um, pool our money and do it together at the weekend, or just see who's got the most time each week…" he tailed off lamely and offered an apologetic "sorry, I shouldn't have said that..."

Since then, any conversation about compromise or deliberation was met with a sarcastic "so, what did you and Charlotte do…?" and no amount of reassurance appeared to be able to dissipate such comments. He was certain that Sybil understood how much he loved her; after all he told her frequently and had made it repeatedly clear that he was in unprecedented territory regarding his feelings. He thought that in all likelihood, her age meant that she was in this particular case, more emotionally immature, although in other areas she seemed older than her years. He had learned through experience that it was better not to dwell on previous relationships or offer detailed information. If he was to contemplate Sybil's association with her ex-boyfriend, Larry; the amount of time he had spent at Downton with her family, their shared experiences, the fact that he had taken her virginity….in fact, he didn't want to think about it one little bit. He had the skill to be able to compartmentalise such thoughts and avoid giving them any undue consideration. Otherwise they ate you up and tainted your enjoyment of the present.

He loved living with Sybil. Waking up and seeing her lying next to him each morning made him glow with happiness. They were each getting used to their new circumstances; he was learning where everything was kept and she had to adjust to having another body moving around in her familiar space. However, they were revelling in sharing everyday tasks together and while they still went out and enjoyed socialising together, just being with her at home brought him a unique sense of contentment. He liked nothing more than to be curled up on the sofa with her, watching TV, or sitting side by side – one of them reading, the other on a laptop or tablet – occasionally offering the other a comment or aside. She stimulated him intellectually as well, which he appreciated; arguing about politics, or challenging him about his personal viewpoints.

He didn't remember feeling anywhere near the same level of contentment when he had moved in with Charlotte, although Sybil's repeated insecurity had made him recently reflect on the experience. There had been no sensation that moving in together was likely to be the first step of many; however he did remember some enjoyment from sharing domestic life. There had been plenty of laughter in the early months, she had a good sense of humour and they enjoyed a lot of the same things. Having someone attractive and enthusiastic about him had been a novelty after unkempt flat mates and his siblings at home. 'Sex on tap' he remembered joking with his mates when they had teased him about his domesticity. But after a while, the novelty had faded and while they didn't antagonise one another, they spent an increasing amount of time with their own friends and less together. Then Charlotte had started to want to talk about the future, which he generally tried to avoid and eventually, after 21 months of living together, she had issued him with an ultimatum – offer a commitment, or leave. It hadn't been a difficult decision and he had moved out two days later, leaving a resigned Charlotte, red eyed and resentful. He had missed her company for a while, finding a new rhythm with a fresh set of flatmates and male camaradie. However, he had never regretted his choice, nor had any sense of subsequent reservation. If Sybil was to ever ask him to leave, he had no doubt that he would feel utterly devastated and bereft. The two situations were, in his mind, entirely incomparable. However, he understood to a certain degree that Sybil felt envious that their first steps together shadowed his previous circumstances. Her joy was tarnished by her awareness of another woman who had trodden a similar path, regardless of his unrivalled devotion to her. He knew that only time would erode her jealousy and as far as he was concerned, that was limitless.

* * *

*_Irish wedding vows taken from www getting married ie_


	3. Chapter 3

They spent three pleasant days exploring Dublin, making the most of periods of bright sunshine when they appeared and sheltering in cafés and pubs when the weather inevitably turned. Sybil had her literary senses provoked in the Writer's Museum, contemplated the horrors witnessed in Kilmainham Jail, enjoyed a tourist's Guinness in the former brewery and looked in awe at the Book of Kells before wandering through the city's parks and shopping streets. Her feet ached but she felt as if she was beginning to appreciate the city which had helped raise Tom.

In the evenings, they took it in turns to cook with Kieran, Edie and Elaine, sitting around the table with wine until late, swapping stories and regaling Sybil with memories of their childhood. She felt warmly accepted by them and revelled in stories they shared, providing her with insight into the boy who grew to become the man she loved. Elaine Branson had been astonished when Tom had finally told her about Sybil's family; however she had never made reference to Sybil's title and was determined to treat her in the same manner as when she had first met her many months previously. She was aware that her sister had subsequently spread the word around half of Dublin, but Elaine had concluded that any further details or speculation would not come from her own lips. It was clear to her that Tom was utterly in love with Sybil and she prayed they could find solutions to any difficulties their different lives might raise.

Filled with goodwill and genuine regret at leaving, they all left a tearful Elaine on Thursday afternoon and flew back to London. Edie was returning to work after her maternity leave on the following Monday and wanted a few days to prepare herself, while Tom and Sybil were looking forward to having time by themselves before the realities of the working week came upon them again.

As London revelled in the unexpected warmth of an Indian summer, Sybil suggested a walk by the Thames on the Friday and they enjoyed a pub lunch close to the tow path near Hammersmith. Returning to the flat, she packed a small bag in preparation for her journey to Manchester and they relished some early evening sunshine in the small back garden, opening a bottle of wine and sharing memories of the previous weekend's celebrations.

"Ah, who needs to go to Crete, when you've got this lovely weather…." sighed Tom with satisfaction, leaning back in a garden chair and raising his face to the sun.

"The problem is, we never know when it's going to be like this. I doubt Fiona would have been too thrilled with a fortnight in England or Ireland if it was pouring with rain. At least they can guarantee some sun over there."

Tom turned to her and winked " But they won't be going outside much on their honeymoon, will they, eh?"

Sybil smiled "we'll just book the Best Western down the road for ours then, shall we?"

"It'll save us the airfare."

"You're so tight sometimes" she joked. "Anyway, what are you going to do without me for the next two days?"

"Miss you irrevocably…." Tom made a mock face of despair and she began to laugh.

"Actually, I might actually get some stuff done…." he continued.

"Are you saying that I distract you then?"

"Only in a good way…." he leant across and pulled her over on to his lap, playing with her hair and drawing her close for a kiss. "I'll probably get the best night's sleep that I've had since I moved in…"

"What do you mean, the best?" Sybil's expression offered mock offence.

"OK, the most solid amount of sleep in one go, without being woken up and tempted by this ravishing woman lying beside me, who I cannot resist for one single moment and who hmph…" Sybil curtailed his endearments with another kiss.

"I actually have to ring Kieran about tomorrow night" he continued a few minutes later, after he had come up for air. "One of us is going to take Edie out for the evening and the other one is going to babysit…try and take her mind off leaving Aiden in nursery on Monday…. I said that I was happy for him to do the socialising but apparently he's got another date with this girl, Rhian tonight, so it depends on how he's feeling after that."

Sybil delayed a response and wrinkled her nose thoughtfully. "So he's quite keen on her, then?"

"I don't know, to be honest. He said that they got on well when they went out last week and so they're going out to a bar tonight. For some reason, he thought fit to tell me that he would be cleaning his room today…just in case…I really don't want the details of his sex life, but there you go."

"I might tell Gwen"

Tom shook his head in warning "Leave it, Syb…."

"But if she knows that he's seeing someone else, it might give her some food for thought"

"Don't get involved…please. She knows where he lives, he made it clear that he liked her…she's done nothing more about it and he's decided to move on, so let's all forget it."

"But I just know deep down that she does like him really…"

"Well, she's got a funny way of showing it….Look, you said yourself that Gwen's got a very liberal attitude to sex and so she's had her fun and now she's back to work….I told you from the start that it would get complicated, so let's just leave them to live their own lives, OK?"

"She's got certain issues." Sybil spoke hesitantly but Tom didn't appear to notice, only snorting somewhat indignantly "is that what you call it?…well good for her, but she can go and have issues with somebody else's brother."

"I'll go and find us something to eat" came Sybil's only reply.

* * *

Sybil waved at Mary as she strolled towards the concourse at Manchester Piccadilly station the following day and the sisters greeted each other with a warm hug and kiss.

"I'm taking you out for lunch first darling" exclaimed Mary, leading her outside to the taxi rank.

"Shouldn't I be taking you somewhere?" asked Sybil, slipping her arm into her sister's "you're the one in need."

"Nonsense. I know how much nurses earn…and it's your birthday on Monday…come on, let me treat you."

They settled in a smart bistro, a few streets away from Mary's flat and Sybil politely enquired after her job.

"Yes, very busy as always, but quite interesting at the moment," was Mary's enthusiastic response. "We're in the process of trying to close a contract to represent a local newspaper group down your way actually….I can't say too much at the moment, but if it comes off, I might be down in London every month for a night or two."

"Well our spare room is always free, Mary, you know that."

"Thank you, but the contract will, I hope, include the cost of a very nice hotel, so maybe you can come and help me spend my expense account instead."

"Sounds good" grinned Sybil.

Mary leant her head to one side with a brief look of concern. "Do you manage to eat out much?"

Sybil laughed "We're not impoverished students, you know Mary! I'm sure we don't go out to restaurants as much as you do, but we're OK. Tom earns a reasonable salary now he's at The Guardian and I only have to pay bills for the flat as you know, so I'm much better off than most of my colleagues."

"And you'll have access to your trust fund in two years time."

"Yes, but I'm not thinking about that. I want us to live within our means."

"Does Tom even know about the money you're going to inherit?"

"Um…he knows there's going to be something, but I've played it down really. You know, the fact that he's living in a flat which was given to me by my father, goes against his basic socialist principles; he's struggling enough with that concept at the moment. He won't want to touch any money, he's determined that we'll get a mortgage together when we buy something bigger in the future."

"You probably won't need to unless you plan on being extremely extravagant."

"He needs to feel that he's contributing." Sybil shook her head dismissively "I'll talk to him about it nearer the time. It feels a bit like Monopoly money at the moment, I can't really take it all in."

"And you're enjoying living together? You haven't discovered that he's got any unexpectedly irritating habits?"

Sybil smiled happily "he's a bit untidier than me, but he's trying very hard not to be…and I'm trying hard not to be too anal about where everything should be kept…it's just lovely, really…except…"

"Except what?" Mary's response sounded sharp and Sybil was anxious for her sister not to consider Tom negatively.

"Do you think I'm silly….?" she sighed "…about being jealous all of a sudden about him having lived with someone else before?" She rubbed her forehead in frustration and folded her napkin on the table before her before continuing.

"I mean, I knew he had done…right from the start….he was always very honest about it…and it didn't bother me at first, but now I'm letting it pray on my mind."

"Do you think she's a rival for his affections?"

"Oh no, nothing like that" Sybil replied hurriedly. "He hasn't spoken to her for about two years, he doesn't even know where she lives now…no, I know that he didn't…" she blushed slightly "…love her like he loves me, or in fact, love her at all. But it's all such a novelty for me and I just wish we were on equal terms in that sense."

Mary took a sip of her drink and smiled at her sister. "Personally, I would be more concerned if he'd reached the age of 30 without having formed some kind of meaningful relationship with a woman." She reached forward and put her hand over Sybil's. "He's got seven years on you, darling….seven years to have had more experience of life and in which to have made more mistakes….don't spoil what you've got by dwelling on what happened in the past."

"You're right…I know."

"And just remember that he has as much reason to be jealous of Larry."

"But I didn't live with Larry!"

"No, that's because you were in student accommodation. But I would imagine that if you had both been a couple of years older, you probably would have done at some point. Not to mention how well he knew our family and our home….I think Tom's shown great restraint if he's never brought that up in response."

Sybil looked abashed. "I'll try to remember that. Thank you, you always make me see sense and reason."

Mary tipped her head and smiled. "That's what big sisters are for; now tell me about medical school, when do you have to apply?"

"November…I've got all the forms. My boss, Miss Dawson is helping me prepare to fill them in, I need her recommendation and also one from another consultant in the team. My weakness is that I haven't done any studying since I graduated…"

"But that was only just over a year ago" Mary interrupted.

Sybil nodded "Yes, but they like to see that you're trying to constantly improve yourself. So I've got my name down to do a couple of courses over the next few months….I'll hopefully get a bit of study leave from work, but I'll have to attend some evening and weekend lectures in order to complete them before the summer."

"And when will you hear one way or another?"

"If I get an interview, it will probably take place either just before or after Christmas and then final decisions are sent out in February or March…..Anyway, Mary…all we've done is talk about me so far, I've come here to talk about you and what's happening…."

Mary shook her head with a hint of warning. "Not here, please…I know too many people , I don't want them knowing my business. Let's enjoy our lunch and then we'll go and have a walk in the sunshine, before going back to the flat."

* * *

Mary poured them each a glass of wine late that afternoon as she and Sybil sat in her small courtyard garden and enjoyed the sun.

"So have you spoken to Matthew since he moved out?" Sybil asked tentatively. Mary shook her head.

"Not verbally, no. He sent me an email to say that he wanted to collect some more things from the flat and I told him that he was welcome to get them at any time…..I thought it might give us an opportunity to talk, now that we have both cooled down." she looked sadly aside "..but he came during the day at some point and just left a note on the table to say that he'd taken everything he needed for the time being."

"Does he still have things here?"

"Yes, quite a bit including various bits of furniture, such as the desk in the second bedroom…but he needs to find somewhere of his own first, rather than staying with friends or his mother."

"Have you reconsidered your answer to his proposal at all?"

Mary gave a brief laugh "Well, I would imagine that the proposal has been withdrawn by now regardless."

"Do you know that for sure?" Sybil pressed and Mary shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"I've hurt him terribly by saying no…."

"But didn't you explain that it wasn't him that you were rejecting, but the timing?"

"I don't think I expressed myself very well, unfortunately."

"In what way?"

"I accused him of trying to pressure me into doing something that I didn't want….and of course, he thinks that it means I don't want him."

"But you still love him?"

Mary smiled kindly at her sister. "Always the romantic….of course, I love him, but it's not as simple as that."

Sybil growled with exasperation "I still don't understand why…."

"That's because you don't have to consider the things I represent." Mary snapped in frustration. "You are at the beginning of your career…if you get into medical school, and I sincerely hope that you do if it's what you really want, then you will find that your priorities change….yes, they will Sybil" she insisted as her sister indicated her disagreement.

"I want to be a partner and I have to work bloody hard to achieve that…I haven't got time to dwell on wedding dresses and menus and all the other things…" she raised her hand to silence an increasingly vexed Sybil "…without wanting to sound presumptuous, my marriage will be a very different affair to yours or Edith's….it represents Downton and the future of the estate. It will be hugely significant. I need to be able to provide the focus it deserves."

Offering a little sigh, she continued "I don't mean to suggest that any wedding isn't important, but you know as well as anybody how difficult it is for these large houses to continue running as they are with each successive generation….now we all hope that Dad will live for another forty years of course, but I am the heir to that estate and therefore the livelihood of many people, both there and in the village. It's imperative that I give the whole event my highest priority."

"And Matthew doesn't understand that?"

"I don't believe he does fully, no. He hasn't grown up with it as we have, understanding that feeling of duty and responsibility to the area….honestly, Sybil, there are times when I envy you and Edith….I mean, it's not a burden, it's a privilege of course….but I do sometimes feel that it would be easier if I could just go and do whatever I like and not have to think about Downton except as a lovely house in which I grew up."

"So what was your plan, then…before this happened?" Sybil appreciated her sister's point of view and understood the responsibility she had quietly carried since childhood. Without similar obligations, Sybil's opportunities had been plentiful and she was beginning to sympathise with the dilemma Mary had faced.

"I want to be a partner and I think I can do that within the next two years or so. Matthew's probably closer to it than me within his firm. Then after a while, we wanted to respectively leave with the experience and reputation under our belts and open our own practice in York. If we'd given ourselves a couple of years to get established, then I would have still been in my early thirties, Matthew only a little older…Honestly, there was plenty of time for weddings and babies…I'd explained all this…" she turned sorrowfully to Sybil.

"At least I thought I had…..but then he had to spoil it all by being all impulsive and romantic and now…" she took a deep breath and then sat up straight in her chair.

"He won't discuss it further…he sees it as a rejection of him…that I don't love him enough to at least get engaged now."

"Well, why wasn't that a possibility? I mean, you don't have to actually go ahead and get married yet."

Mary frowned "I don't want to be engaged for six, seven years….I mean, it's ridiculous! I don't understand why anyone would think that's a reasonable idea. Surely an engagement is a declaration that you are actively planning to get married, rather than a medium term state."

"I agree actually" Sybil nodded in accord. "But it might be a compromise?"

"A compromise requires two parties to have a discussion and at the moment, one party is refusing to come to the table and talk."

"Tom's going out for a drink with Matthew on Thursday evening."

Mary exhaled suddenly "I don't need a mediator" she said quietly.

Sybil smiled and reached fondly for her sister's hand. "Actually, Tom said something similar…he's not planning to interfere at all….Matthew had already asked him if he'd like to meet up when he was next in London and so that's all they're doing….I mean, if Matthew talks about it at all then he'll listen, but he's not going armed with a list of questions."

"Won't the journalist in him enjoy a good story?"

"Not if it's at the expense of people he cares about, no."

"I needn't ask whose side he'll be on."

"Neither of us is on anybody's side!" Sybil declared "Despite you being my sister...I love you both and I see two intelligent and successful people, just being as pig headed and stubborn as each other!"

Mary gave an awkward smile, her natural self-assurance now slightly abated after having shared her confidences. "I'm glad you came, Sybil…thank you…I miss you and your endless optimism."

Sybil patted her on the shoulder as she stood up and turned back towards the flat "As you said, that's what sisters are for. And don't forget that I always come armed with wine!"

* * *

Tom was determined to make every minute of Sybil's birthday an enjoyable experience. After making his way slowly up her body, his head appeared above hers and he offered a self-satisfied smile at the expression on her face before leaning down and kissing her on the lips.

"Happy Birthday love….what can I do for you now?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and presented a broad grin "Well, it got off to an excellent start, so now how about breakfast in bed?"

He whistled as he began to heat the frying pan and switched on the grill, pulling bacon and eggs out of the fridge and placing two slices of bread in the toaster. The phone rang and he quickly answered it "Hello Cora, how are you?" he asked cheerfully as he wandered back into the bedroom. Sybil was leaning against the pillows, reading a book, her hair attractively tousled, lips pouting and quite honestly he could have happily got back in there with her again, but she held her arm out expectantly for the sound of her mother's voice.

"Yes, she seems to be having a nice day so far…" he added smiling "I'm sure she'll tell you all about it.." Sybil shook her head wildly, pretending to be angry and snatched the receiver.

"Hi Mum….thank you… well Tom let me have a long lie in you see…yes, feeling very refreshed, thanks…."

After bringing in their meal on trays, Tom retrieved a bag of presents from under the spare room bed. He had managed to intercept some parcels while she had been in Manchester and there were gifts from her parents, Edith and his own mother to present with his own. During a summer visit to Downton, he had taken a photograph of the house from a distance as the sun set behind it and the family dog played happily on the lawn in the foreground. Considering he owned only a moderately priced camera, he was fairly pleased with the result and had arranged for a copy to be enlarged and framed. There were more professional impressions for sale in the nearby village, but Tom had correctly guessed that Sybil would better appreciate his own efforts.

"It's lovely!" she gasped "Did you really take it? And look, there's Isis…oh Tom, that's just such a thoughtful present….thank you so much!"

It was possible, he speculated, that he had gone a little overboard with his present buying, as he observed the large pile of gifts spread out over the bed. However every purchase he had made was met with such gratitude and enthusiasm that he then deliberated as to why he hadn't bought more.

"Are these for me or for you?" Sybil asked coyly as she finally concluded and held up an Agent Provocateur bag.

"They're not my colour" he replied solemnly and waited a beat "and they don't fit me…I tried."

Sybil's eyes slowly opened wide in astonishment before he started laughing and leant forward for another kiss "You're so gullible sometimes…"

He took her for lunch at a relatively new restaurant in Soho which had received positive reviews in the press and specialised in the type of Mediterranean fare she relished. She had no idea where they were going when they took the train into central London and wandered through the city's busy streets. Her squeals of excitement when he stopped outside the door were ample reward for his efforts.

"I can't believe you managed to get a table!" she exclaimed with elation.

"Well it's a Monday, Syb…and it's lunchtime….be glad your birthday wasn't at the weekend, or we'd be in Pizza Express."

The meal lived up to its impressive reputation and they shared a bottle of wine, hands entwined on the table.

"This time last year" Sybil reminisced "we went for a pub lunch near Ripon and my parents were toasting the new job that I was about to start…little did I know that my first week would have quite such momentous consequences…"

He smiled "Talking of momentous…."

"What?"

"There's something I want to ask you."

Sybil's heart began pounding and she could feel her hands starting to shake. Spontaneously, she glanced briefly at the floor beside their table, was he going to get down there and in front of all these people? Attempting to rearrange her expression into something more neutral, she looked back at Tom, who was awkwardly fiddling with his napkin.

"Well…?"

Tom coughed and shuffled in his chair. "About Christmas…."

Sybil was momentarily confused "What about it?"

"Well, I know that you always go to Downton…."

"Yes"

"Well, would you consider…um…coming to Dublin with me instead?" Fleetingly, Sybil was lost for words and Tom believed it was a sign of hesitation.

"Only Edie and I talked last year about taking Aiden home for his first Christmas and I really want to do that….only….I can't bear the thought of not being with you….would you think about it maybe and then I'd be happy to come to Yorkshire at New Year again….I know you'd miss your family…..what do you think?"

Beginning to giggle, Sybil leant across to squeeze his hand "I'd love to, honestly…Mum and Dad will be fine about it, I'm sure…"

"Why is it so funny? I've been really worried about asking you….oh!" Tom smiled in realisation "Did you think I was going to ask you something else?"

Sybil offered a non-committal shrug and twirled her hair around her finger before he continued.

"On a birthday?...Nah….way too obvious…just biding my time…."


	4. Chapter 4

"Good to see you again, Tom – cheers!" Matthew Crawley raised a glass as they perched on bar stools within a busy Westminster pub.

"Mmmm, you too….oh that tastes good" Tom replied with satisfaction, his brain weary after a long day in which he had suffered from writer's block while trying to meet a deadline for the following morning's edition. Neither he nor his Editor had been entirely satisfied with the final article, but time had been running out and there had been no alternative finally but to submit it. Tom knew that it was going to weigh on his mind all evening and in all likelihood, he would wake up in the middle of the night with a more appropriate closing paragraph. In the meantime, he was pleased to see Matthew and to have a quiet chat.

"So are you going back up to Manchester tomorrow?"

Matthew nodded "In the afternoon sometime, yes. I've got a couple of meetings in the morning."

"And do you mind me asking where you're living at the moment?"

"With my Mum….I stayed with a mate for a few days, but it was only a short term solution. So…" he paused and rolled his eyes for effect " I now find myself back in my childhood bed at the grand old age of 29, which provides enough motivation to make sure that it also becomes only a short term solution." He paused hesitantly "I'm going flat hunting over the weekend."

"No chance of reconciliation then?"

Matthew made a face and offered a half shrug with his shoulders. "Not for the time being, no….I think I need to be on my own for a while."

"Did you know that Sybil went up to stay with Mary last weekend?"

"I didn't, no…..you see it's things like that which contribute to how unpleasant the whole situation is….I'd love to see Sybil…..as well as Edith. Robert and Cora of course, but it's now completely inappropriate…" he looked gratefully at Tom "I appreciate you coming out to meet me under the circumstances."

Tom waved a hand in the air "I don't want to get involved in sides or anything like that….you're a friend and as far as I'm concerned, that will stay the case, regardless of what you and Mary decide."

Matthew offered his thanks and looked momentarily thoughtful.

"You know…..I wasn't sure how you'd feel about this idea, but I've got a proposition for you."

Tom raised his eyebrows and gave a cheeky smile "That almost sounds indecent….I have to tell you that I'm a one woman man…."

Matthew responded with a laugh "I promise to keep my hands to myself….no, it's just that we're doing some work for the Manchester City sponsors at the moment and I might be able to get hold of a couple of tickets for the Liverpool game in January…" Tom's face filled with anticipation before he continued "…just wondered if you fancied coming up to see it with me?"

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" asked Tom excitedly "God yes, please…I haven't been to a game for years….too bloody expensive these days…that would be absolutely fantastic, Matt, thank you."

"It wouldn't cause any awkwardness at all?….I mean, I'll have hopefully got my own place by then, but I wouldn't want to create angst between you and Syb."

Tom's expression was earnest as he considered the situation. "Sybil will be fine about it…she's happy for us to stay in touch…I mean, she'd love to see you too, but it might put her in an difficult position with her sister if she came up too."

He sighed and raised himself up on his stool "Look….I said that I didn't want to get involved, but I'll just say one thing….and it's that according to Sybil, Mary wants to have a chance to talk to you….I'm not saying it will resolve anything one way or another, but surely a three year relationship deserves that, doesn't it?"

"Of course" Matthew nodded, directing a solemn expression towards the floor. "And I will talk to her…but not yet….I'm still hurt and angry and embarrassed and I can't see myself being able to conduct a civilised conversation with her at the moment" He sighed ruefully "I mean she'll be the queen of cool naturally, but I'm not like her…..I'll get upset and she won't and that will make me even more furious and it will achieve nothing except further conflict and division." He shook his head "No, we need some time apart…I need to reconsider lots of things….decide what I really want from life."

"I don't want to sound simplistic…" Tom paused in order to choose his words carefully, not wanting to antagonise his friend "…but if you still love one another, then you need to tell each other that….before you both get too used to being apart and it all seems less important….love is the main thing…the rest is detail."

"I need to look at everything objectively for a while….I mean, Mary's had my life mapped out for the last three years….I'm starting to realise now that my input in all of that was fairly minimal…" he laughed and looked slightly sheepish at the admission. "…pathetic really, isn't it?"

"Not at all….I'm sure that I'd alter my plans if it made Sybil happy…that's what you do when you love someone and want the relationship to work, it's called compromise."

"For a lawyer, Mary is surprisingly poor at compromise within her personal life." Matthew sighed "I think Downton is a higher priority than me, if I'm honest….and I know it's hard for you and me to fully appreciate the responsibility she's going to have when she inherits it….but I'm starting to wonder if I want to play second fiddle to a house, no matter how grand and important."

Tom scratched his head "Yes, well you've got me there….I know I'd struggle if I felt second best to anything in Sybil's life…I have to admit that…" he exhaled slowly "Ah, there are no easy answers are there?"

For a while, they sat in compatible silence before Tom offered his final contribution.

"Just don't leave it too long to speak to her and see her, Matt OK? Sometimes, what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve after. I'd hate to see you grow used to being apart, without giving yourselves an opportunity to remember what you love."

* * *

Autumn's early weeks passed swiftly for Tom as he worked at the political party conferences, enjoying his more solid reputation as a contributor to one of the country's mainstream newspapers. He missed Sybil and their domestic life, but enjoyed the challenges provided by his employment during the busiest period of the year.

While chatting to his Editor and a couple of The Independent's delegation at one of the Conservative functions, he was approached by an enthusiastic Piers Donaldson, who pulled him over to one side and asked sincerely after him and Sybil. Since their New Year exchange, Tom had only seen him at press conferences, during which they had occasionally sparred quite vicariously. As he returned to the group, his Editor Michael raised a questioning eyebrow.

"And how have you managed to make such an impression on the Chancellor?"

Tom shuffled his foot on the floor and hesitated for a moment. "Now I'm wondering whether I should have brought this up in my interview….I haven't been intentionally keeping it from you, but I didn't think it was relevant for my ability to do the job in hand. He's actually my girlfriend's godfather."

One of The Independent's team looked at him with surprise. "I've seen you give him a good grilling in the past."

Tom nodded "He wouldn't spare me any punches either….he's actually quite different away from his job...to be honest, I've only met him once outside of work, but I liked him a lot." He glanced at Michael "Is it a problem?"

"Not at all…we've all got contacts from one source or another. All I'd say is don't hide the fact and never, ever go easy on him…..if the Telegraph or the Mail find out then just be quite open about it….don't provide them with a chance to crucify you, or hold you up as a hypocrite." He looked momentarily thoughtful "Is there anyone else I should know about? Are her parents involved with the Tories personally?"

Tom felt his shoulders slump marginally. "Now it really is going to look as if I've been hiding things….look, you employed me on my ability as a journalist and I hope you don't think that my focus would be swayed in any way by her family."

"Not at all, but I'd appreciate you giving me the full picture, because I don't want to be caught out if someone approaches me with your connections."

"Her father's in the Lords…..Lord Grantham"

Michael gave a low whistle and both Independent journalists began to chuckle.

"I bet Sunday lunch at their place is interesting…" muttered one.

"It can get a bit heated from time to time" admitted Tom "although to be honest, we generally try to avoid talking about politics….I think we're learning just to agree to disagree." He glanced once again at Michael who was nodding and looking contemplative.

"Right…I think we probably need to get this connection mentioned in some form soon….we need to be the ones to bring it into the public eye, so that nobody can turn around and accuse us of duplicity." Tom looked alarmed and apologised again for not having raised it beforehand.

"Look, it doesn't matter to me, Tom" reassured Michael with a smile "but you know what these journalists are like….they'll grab at anything in an attempt for a good story."

* * *

Back in London, Sybil spent some time with Edie while Tom was away. It was easy for them to be naively cocooned within their life together, and the opportunity to spend time alone with his sister made her realise how oblivious she had been regarding her dilemma about returning to work. Edie's employers had agreed to her request for flexible working arrangements; however she couldn't afford to go part time and had therefore accepted the provision to work from home on one day each week. Aiden had settled happily in a local nursery, but his mother was suffering with the separation and consequential parental guilt it raised.

"I had no idea it was going to be so hard" she admitted reluctantly to Sybil one evening. "I feel physically sick at times that I don't see him for hours on end."

"But he's happy at nursery? Have the staff reported that he's distressed in any way?"

Edie sighed with resignation "No, he seems quite happy….I mean he cried the first couple of times when he had his settling in sessions, but I think that's normal at any age… he's fine now….he starts smiling as we approach and realises where we are….sometimes that almost makes me feel worse!"

"How?" laughed Sybil "you don't want him to be upset there…."

"Of course not….it's just that he seems so happy for somebody else to raise him…"

"They're not raising him, Edie….you are." Sybil interrupted, desperate to offer reassurance, yet hopelessly aware of her naivety surrounding maternal instinct.

Edie sighed heavily "It doesn't feel like that…I've already missed his first crawl…."suddenly she put her hands to her face and Sybil observed as she struggled to compose herself.

"Edie…." Sybil spoke softly with sympathy and placed her hand gently on the young woman's arm.

"I should be there!...It should be me watching things like that, not some young girl earning minimum wage…" she raised her hand and glanced at Sybil "don't worry, they do a great job under the circumstances, they are clearly very fond of the children, but it's just not the same….not like a mother's love."

"Well the alternative is…" Sybil voiced with hesitation.

"Go on benefits and become the scourge of the Daily Mail"

"Well I wasn't going to put it quite like that…."

Edie shrugged "I couldn't live myself to be honest….and then what do I do when he goes to school?…I'll have given up my career, any chance to provide us both with a better life….."

"Have you thought about…." Sybil paused and Edie stared at her with a questioning expression.

"About what?"

"Contacting his father?...no, no, listen to me for a minute….I mean he's equally responsible, he should be contributing…if he did then you could possibly drop a day at work?"

"He wanted nothing to do with me or a baby….he wanted me to have him aborted for God's sake!"

"Well he could be made to pay something….personally, I think he ought to be paying something…even if he has no other contact with you."

"I don't know where he is any more" Edie muttered

"The CSA* would find him."

"And then he would find us."

"But you believe that he wouldn't want to."

Edie sank back into her chair and rubbed her head in frustration. "He doesn't know that Aiden exists….." she reflected slowly "I'm sure he presumes that I didn't go through with it…he just wanted the easy option….but if he knew…." the sentence was left open, but Sybil understood that Edie was anxious about what consequences such knowledge might bring.

"He's mine" she finally murmured and Sybil wasn't certain for whom the declaration was ultimately intended.

* * *

As November commenced, Sybil finalised her application for medical school and on Thursday evenings, began a six week phlebotomy course in order to substantiate her commitment towards further study. Miss Dawson had initially been surprised, but subsequently encouraging of Sybil's ambition and had assured her of a positive reference in support of the application. Tom assisted in choosing appropriate phrasing for the required personal declaration and Sybil posted the forms one lunchtime with a silent petition for their success.

On the anniversary of their first kiss, they booked a table at a Moroccan restaurant close to the cinema where they had spent their date one year beforehand. It fell on a Wednesday and Tom arranged to be on an early shift so that he could arrive home before Sybil and greet her with a glass of champagne before they went out.

"Are we walking?" Sybil asked later on as she helped herself to a second glass from the fridge and stepped towards Tom for another kiss. "Only it's raining."

"Of course we're walking….I will be recreating the moment, you know…." he smirked at her suggestively "I shall be snogging you at various points across the common, only I might break from last year's precedent and do it on the way there, as well as the way back."

After a soggy walk, huddled under an umbrella, they arrived inside the restaurant with much foot stamping and hair shaking. Sybil could feel rainwater dripping inside her collar and down her spine as she glanced at the menu and stretched her feet towards the warmth of a nearby radiator.

Tom shook his head and gave a rueful sigh "Well now, isn't this romantic?! Both sitting here like drowned rats….sorry, we should have got a cab."

"It's fine" assured Sybil, trying to stop her teeth from chattering "it was a very sweet idea to try and recreate last year."

"You're being polite…it was a crap idea…"

"You're right, it was fairly rubbish…." she started to giggle "but you know…it was a quite a romantic thought, even if it didn't work out in practice."

"We'll get a taxi back though…"

"Oh definitely."

Eventually thawing, they enjoyed their meal, reminiscing about the previous twelve months and the happiness they had found with one another.

"I often think" pondered Sybil "that if Edie hadn't experienced such an awful pregnancy, we might never have met….it's an uncomfortable thought in many ways….that she had to go through that all that anxiety…"

"We'd have met anyway." Tom nodded with confidence.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well your car would still have needed repairing and you might not have been quite so rude to me when you brought it in."

"I'd have rebuffed you if you'd tried to chat me up, you know. I was completely off men."

"And then I'd have seen you in a bar some time afterwards and recognised you."

"I'd have nodded politely and then carried on talking to whoever I was with."

"Which would probably have been Gwen….and I'd have been with Kieran, so considering how quickly he attached himself to her in Tesco last Christmas, he'd have been straight over."

"I still wouldn't have taken much notice of you."

"Ah, we'd have made polite conversation like gooseberries and eventually I'd have won you over with my Irish charm."

She started to shake her head, grinning, but then studied his smiling face as if with fresh eyes, remembering the man she had tried to anonymously assess in a hospital lift more than a year beforehand.

"Maybe" she admitted and leant forward to hold his hand. "I don't tell you enough really, but you've made me unbelievably happy this last year…stop it…" she kicked him under the table as he began to shrug his shoulders and gave an expression of theatrical modesty. "…I mean, I've lived quite a charmed life really, but this has been the best year of it, without doubt….so thank you."

Tom raised her hand to his lips and briefly closed his eyes "Sybil Crawley….you continue to leave me tongue tied at times…"

"Well that's complete rubbish…you're never lost for words…you've always got something to say!"

He started to laugh "See?...this is why I love you so much….well apart from the fact that you're beautiful and kind and intelligent of course….but you don't tolerate any crap from me…you ruin a beautiful moment to put me in my place and I absolutely adore you for it!"

"Right, a toast!" she declared with another smile, pouring out the remaining contents of their wine bottle and raising a glass. "To the first happy year of many!"

"And now I think it's time for me to ask you a question…" he said with a faint smirk

"Oh shut up Tom, I know you're not going to ask me on our anniversary….what do you want to ask ….where the nearest taxi rank is?"

Chuckling with resignation, he kissed her hand again. "Something like that…come on, let's go home."

Having stepped out of their taxi in front of the flat, Sybil turned at the front door and put her hand on Tom's chest. "You'll be glad to know that I'm dispensing with last year's precedent..." she whispered teasingly "...and letting you in."

"Oh good!" Tom laughed, glancing up at the continuing rain and following her inside. He drew her close, wrapping his arms around her and offering a long and enthusiastic kiss.

"On the same note"….he muttered "let me demonstrate exactly what was going on inside my head this time last year…"

* * *

*CSA = Child Support Agency (UK)


	5. Chapter 5

As autumn paved way for the preparation of Christmas festivities, Sybil and Tom once again attended Cora's annual fundraiser in aid of the Miscarriage Association and made plans for their festive breaks in Dublin and Yorkshire.

Tom published a humorous article in The Guardian entitled 'Sponging off the in-laws', which made reference to his relationship with the House of Grantham and noted as an aside his connection to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. While there had been a great deal of discussion during recent years about parental contribution towards childrens' lives well into adulthood, less had been written about the consequential benefit to their spouses and partners. He acknowledged living in a flat which had been paid for entirely by someone else and which would enable him to obtain a larger property in the future, within an area of London he could otherwise not afford. His description of the subsequent guilt this provoked, was intended to be light-hearted and it was generally well received by readers and his colleagues, many of whom contacted him to share tales of similar benefactors. He received some inevitable stick on Twitter, was forced to block a few people for their inarticulate abuse, but on the whole arose out of the situation with his reputation intact. He had chosen not to mention his financial contribution to Edie's living arrangements and accepted the ensuing presumption that he had no significant economic commitments. For a brief period it was a topic of frequent discussion and he acceded to the predictable teasing at the next Treasury press conference.

"How can you justify proposing a mansion tax when there are those in full employment not paying anything for accommodation at all?" asked a Daily Mail journalist, winking at Tom but enjoying an opportunity to appear self-righteous.

"You'll be handing over your expense account when the revolution begins, will you Phil?" Tom retorted to the sound of laughter.

Even Piers Donaldson, usually considered dour and lacking in humour when discussing fiscal policy, delivered a line with his tongue firmly in one cheek, as he made reference to supplementing housing benefit with 'Branson benefit' for those in full employment but without an economically beneficial spouse.

Michael was satisfied that they could now avoid any accusations of deceit, but warned Tom that his writing would continue to be scrutinised for any sign of bias or partiality while Piers and Robert remained in positions of influence. Tom didn't believe that he ever spared them public criticism when deserved, but acknowledged that he would need to be additionally vigilant in expressing appropriate viewpoints for the considerable future.

Sybil was invited to an interview for medical school at nearby St. George's Hospital a week before Christmas, which sent her into a mixed state of anxiety and excitement. She asked Gwen to come round one evening and help her to adequately prepare for the type of questioning she might encounter and to provide additional knowledge about the early stages of the course. Now in her second year, Gwen had found the leap from a nursing degree to full medical training fairly arduous and was certain that the panel would lay emphasis on this issue.

"I've brought you a couple of text books that we used a lot in the first year….oooh, is that risotto you're cooking?" she looked at Sybil with a raised eyebrow as she entered the kitchen.

"Get you…" she teased "…with your new culinary skills….he's an all-round educator, that Tom, isn't he?"

"I'm still here, by the way!" Tom called from the bedroom, where he was getting dressed for football training.

"It's OK, I'm only giving compliments for the time being…" she retorted grinning, while pulling out a chair from under the table and sitting down.

"Let me at least get half way down the street before you start on the rest." Tom added with a smile as he came into the kitchen to say goodbye. "Will you save me some?" he asked Sybil, offering a nod at the saucepan on the stove.

"Are you not going to the pub afterwards?"

"I might….see how I feel…possibly…save me a little bit, just in case, please." He walked over to Gwen and gave her a welcoming kiss on the cheek, before returning to Sybil and offering a longer, more fervent version.

After he had left, Gwen placed two books on the table and beckoned Sybil over.

"I need to keep stirring…." Sybil said hesitantly. Gwen laughed and brought them over to the counter beside her "Oh Syb, you've gone all domestic on me….now look, I've stuck post it notes on some relevant chapters, which you would do well to read and at least partially memorise. Let them know that you've given some time to considering the main topics that you're likely to cover in the first few months and show them that you've got a good idea about what level they require from students."

"Thank you. I've already been reading some of the textbooks that we used on our nursing course…trying to revise a bit on anatomy…I'm very good on the female reproductive system, but I'm pretty rusty on other areas now."

"Good. Even though you know that you want to ultimately train in gynaecology, they'll want to be sure that you're committed to everything else. You won't get a chance to specialise in anything for the first half of the course and that's a long way off."

"OK, so what kind of other questions do you think they might ask me?"

"Well, you could think of some examples where you've used your initiative at work."

"Like deciding not to tell Miss Dawson that I'd got to know a patient out of work so she didn't have to swap her midwife?" Sybil asked ruefully and then made a face. "Will they know about my verbal warning, will Miss Dawson have been obliged to tell them in her reference?"

Gwen shrugged "Possibly…probably…if they bring it up, you've just got to be honest about it…say that it was within your first couple of months and you made an error of judgement, but that you've learned your lesson."

"Well, in the end it gave me the final push to apply for med school."

"Tell them that" urged Gwen earnestly "turn it into a positive….I can't believe that it would be the deal breaker regardless, but show them that it inspired you to aim for bigger things. Hopefully they'll appreciate your ambition."

Sybil dished out their meal and the two sat at the table, flicking through textbooks and discussing any potential questions and scenarios that might arise.

"Aaghh" groaned Sybil eventually, laying her head forwards on to the table. "My brain's hurting…there's so much to think about and remember."

"Welcome to the next seven years of your life!" smiled Gwen in response "Listen…don't fret too much…at the end of the day, they know what your qualifications are, they know what you've been doing since graduating and they want to see you…that's a good sign! They won't expect you to know everything now,…that's why you're applying…they just want to be certain that you're committed and prepared for all the hard work ahead…it costs too much to half train people and for them to subsequently drop out."

Sybil nodded and made a half grimace "Well as my mother always says, you can only do your best!"

"Exactly…now open the wine for God's sake and let's have a non-medical conversation for a bit before I crash out in your spare room."

The women moved into the living room and began to make themselves comfortable on the sofa.

"So have you had time to do anything non-study related recently?" asked Sybil, stretching out to rest her feet on the nearby coffee table.

Gwen leant back on a cushion and tipped her head to one side "Well, I had a date last week…"

"Who with?"

"A guy in the year above me…..James...he's OK…we went for a curry"

"Just OK?"

Gwen wrinkled her nose and made a face. "He's…" she paused and gave a brief sigh "nice."

"You make that sound like a bad thing"

"Not bad, no…just a bit boring."

"What, he's boring or being nice in general is boring?"

"Oh I don't know!" Gwen threw her hands up in the air in mock frustration and smiled at her friend. "I'm a bit of a hopeless case, really, aren't I?"

Sybil shook her head firmly. "Don't say that…anyway, you're always telling me that you don't really have time for a proper boyfriend, so what does it matter anyway? Go out with lots of people and just have some fun."

"Just carry on being a bit of a slapper, you mean?" Gwen laughed

"Well you don't have to jump into bed with all of them, you know…"

For a while they were silent, both aware of the metaphorical white elephant hovering in the room, the name of whom neither wished to mention. Eventually Gwen broke first and asked tentatively.

"How's Kieran doing these days then?"

"He's OK…" Sybil replied with hesitation, concerned not to deny Tom's request to avoid meddling.

"Is he seeing anyone now?" Gwen gave an air of nonchalance that to her friend was entirely transparent. Momentarily, Sybil was of two minds as how best to reply, but decided that she could not, under any circumstances, directly offer a lie.

"Yes he is."

"And?...Is she nice…whoops, wrong word, I guess…do you like her, I mean?"

"I haven't actually met her yet." admitted Sybil "I think we're supposed to go out and meet them both for a drink soon, before we go to Dublin for Christmas…he's been seeing her for a couple of months, maybe a bit longer….since just before Fiona and Niall's wedding anyway."

"Is he very keen on her, do you think?"

Sybil shrugged "I don't know really, he doesn't say a lot about her, just mentions that they were in this bar or went to see that film…he makes jokes about it all, he seems quite happy… you know what he's like…but I couldn't say that I really know what's going on inside his head."

"And what's her name?"

"Rhian….look Gwen, why are you asking me all this now?….It's been ages since you two…well, you know…you said that you didn't want to talk about it before…"

"I was just thinking about him recently, that's all."

"And what brought that on all of a sudden?"

"Going out with 'nice James' I guess….it made me remember how Kieran was different…..not at all boring…I had a good laugh with him."

Sybil exhaled loudly "So why did you just walk away then?"

Gwen avoided her gaze and began scratching the side of the sofa, as if attempting to remove an invisible mark. "It was all getting a bit much, that's all…you know…"

"No, Gwen I don't really know…all I saw was the two of you completely all over one another….you both seemed really keen and then suddenly it was all over…. "

"I think he was getting too involved…" she paused momentarily "…and as I keep saying, I don't have time for it…it was better to just finish it." She looked at her friend with a half pleading expression "don't be pissed off with me, Sybil….I did tell you not to get your hopes up."

"I'm not pissed off with you…honestly…I just don't believe you."

Gwen stared at her indignantly "What do you mean…..?"

"I think you were scared."

"Bollocks!"

"I think you were falling for him big time and it frightened the living daylights out of you…"

"That is total crap, Sybil…."

"…because you just go back to thinking about what happened with Jack and are too scared to show your feelings to anyone else in case it happens again."

"You do not know what goes on in my head!" Gwen was half shouting now and Sybil leant backwards in response.

"You're terrified that any man you get close to, will be another emotional bully and you don't trust yourself not to revert to sticking your head down the toilet on a regular basis and being completely screwed up!"

"I'm not listening to this….." Gwen got up and started to walk out of the room into the hallway. Following her, Sybil continued in a softer voice. "You can't judge every man on Jack, Gwen…Look, I'm sorry if I've upset you, I shouldn't have put it quite so bluntly …I don't want us to fall out."

With a forced laugh, Gwen pointed out "Well, you've got a funny way of showing it."

"Kieran wouldn't…he would never have been like that, you know…he's a decent person."

"You just want everybody to live in happy ever after land with you and Tom." her friend sighed.

"I want people to be happy, yes….in whatever form that takes and I just don't think you are, deep down." Stepping forward, she tried to offer a conciliatory gesture and placed her hand gently on Gwen's arm. "And maybe it wouldn't have worked out in the long run….but perhaps it would…but you'll never know if you don't give it a go, that's all I'm saying…."

"All this from the girl who wouldn't even speak to a man for about eighteen months."

"But then I did and look what happened."

"Well anyway, he's seeing someone else now, so it's all irrelevant isn't it?"

"I suppose so."

They both swung round as the noise of Tom's key in the lock interrupted their thoughts and he stepped through the front door. Stopping hesitantly, he quickly took in the scene before him.

"Why do I feel like I've just interrupted something….?" he asked smiling, hoping to lighten the obviously tense atmosphere.

"No, not at all" Gwen nodded her head towards the spare room door "I'm just shattered, so I'll say goodnight…thanks for the meal, Sybil." Forcing a smile towards Tom, she glanced briefly again at her friend and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door immediately behind her. Tom opened his eyes wide and made a questioning face at Sybil, who shook her head and followed him in through the living room and into the kitchen. Giving him a brief welcoming kiss, she indicated towards the stove.

"There's still some left if you want it."

"Thanks…so what happened then…you looked as if you were having an argument?"

"A disagreement of opinion, not an argument…no, no…nothing to do with the interview, she was really helpful actually…it was just about something else."

"So are you going to tell me exactly what?"

Sybil paused, her mind racing with contradictions. She had come to rely on and trust Tom so entirely that she would share any confidence with him under normal circumstances. However, despite not having initially raised the subject of his brother, she knew that he would be riled to know that the situation had been discussed and she knew it would be disloyal to share her friend's confidences.

Instead, she squeezed his hand and leant forward for another kiss.

"Sorry darling, but it's not my story to tell."


	6. Chapter 6

Sybil walked out of her interview without having the faintest idea about how she may have been perceived by the panel. The reactions of those who had questioned her were unforeseen; they had smiled encouragingly when she had explained the background behind her verbal warning from Miss Dawson and one of them had even made a sympathetic joke about the situation. They had nodded expressionlessly when she had talked about her ambition and desire to follow her mentor's career path, although one male tutor had repeatedly raised an eyebrow throughout. After initially believing that he was questioning her motives and values, she eventually concurred that he had some form of facial tic, which then made it even more difficult to avert her gaze. Yet when she had explained about the phlebotomy course she was shortly to complete and the forthcoming programme on genetics that she was scheduled to begin in the New Year, they had all seemed very serious and contemplative, each scribbling notes in conspiratorial silence. The lone female representative had enquired about her ability to finance another long period of study and without wanting to provide specific economic details, Sybil had assured them that her parents and partner had committed to cover her living costs, while she would take out student loans for tuition. She had offered them every available proof of her motivation and enthusiasm and could only now hope that it would suffice.

She had taken the full day off work and as she walked back along the main road in order to catch her bus home, her hands shaking with adrenalin and feeling emotionally exhausted; she made the unprecedented decision to walk into a pub on her own and drink a glass of wine while she processed her subsequent perspective on the day's events. Reaching for her phone, she dialled Tom's number, but the call went directly to voicemail and she left him a message. With an overwhelming need to speak to somebody, she then telephoned her mother, who was at a friend's house, but who provided some encouraging sound effects while Sybil briefly described her experience. There was a beep on the line and she quickly concluded.

"Anyway Mum, got to go…speak soon…thanks for listening…love to Dad…bye!"

She smiled at the handset "Hi, Tom"

"How did it go?"

She sighed and explained her lack of conclusive impression on the overall experience.

"Well you can't do any more now…I know it's easier said than done, but you've just got to try and forget about it for a couple of months until you hear back…so where are you now?"

"In a pub on Tooting High Road."

"Really?! A pub on your own…well you must be feeling stressed…don't knock back too many, remember we're meeting Kieran and Rhian at eight." Sybil assured him that she hadn't forgotten and would see him back at the flat beforehand. Sitting straight, she downed the last of her drink, stood up and smiled at the lady behind the bar, then made her way back outside towards the bus stop.

* * *

"So anyway, I just wanted to be able to pre-empt any more problems with the engine, so I went back to the garage with a few questions and then Kieran asked me if I wanted to go out sometime." Rhian explained smiling as Tom and Sybil nodded in encouragement, pretending that they were previously oblivious to the scenario.

Kieran looked fairly expressionless as the story was re-told, although he grinned at her whenever she turned her head in his direction and tipped his head to one side, making a humourous face when she was complimentary.

"And are you going back to Wales for Christmas?" asked Sybil.

"Yes, on Christmas Eve…I'll drive down that afternoon and probably stay there until the New Year…" she glanced again at Kieran "…as he's not coming back before then either." Although Sybil and Tom were flying back to London a few days after Christmas, in order to subsequently travel north to Yorkshire, both Kieran and Edie had decided to remain with Elaine for the New Year festivities.

"So will you catch up with all your old friends, while you're there?"

"Yes...quite a few of them are married already, or have kids, or both...so it's not really the same any more…that's why I came to London really, I wanted to see a bit more of life than the South Wales Valleys…they all seem quite content to stay there forever, living down the road from their parents…they think I'm a bit odd wanting to live in the dangerous big city."

Sybil laughed "Well I come from a country village too, so yes, I get that from some of my old friends…but like you, I wanted more than that, at least at this point in my life…London's not for everyone though."

"Can I ask you…" Rhian asked hesitantly, glancing at Kieran who was out of earshot, chatting to Tom "how long had you two been going out before he invited you to Dublin?"

Sybil raised her eyebrows "Well, a few months at least…let me think, we got together in the November and then I went in June for Aiden's christening, so what's that, seven months? " she smiled kindly "Are you keen to go then, has he mentioned it?"

Rhian shook her head and looked hesitant. "No…I don't want to ask and I mean, I haven't invited him to Wales either…I…I…I just don't really know where we are, to be honest."

"Well, it's still quite early days, isn't it?"

"Yes…I don't want you to think that I'm trying to march him down the aisle or anything, because I'm not at all…I'm just not sure how he feels about me and I don't want to make a fool of myself…I really like him, I think…but I just get the impression…" she hesitated and Sybil smiled kindly in anticipation.

"…that there's a bit of baggage, if you know what I mean?"

"Well everyone's got a bit of emotional baggage haven't they…I mean he's twenty eight, how old are you?"

"Twenty six"

"Well then…we've all had boyfriends or girlfriends beforehand…I mean, I was a bit jealous about Tom's old girlfriend at one point, but I think you just have to push it to one side and get on with making it all work."

"Of course, but can I ask you…has he got unfinished business with someone because…oh I don't know…it's just a feeling I've got."

Sybil froze fleetingly and felt her body tense. She really didn't want to betray her friend and felt in some way additionally loyal to Kieran, who had never complained directly to her about Gwen's behaviour, nor discussed what had taken place.

"I don't really know much about his history, I'm afraid…I think you'll have to see what happens and try to work it out for yourself over time."

As Tom and Sybil walked home later that evening, she turned and asked "So what did you think of her, then?"

"She's very nice."

Sybil's lips twitched, thinking of Gwen and her opinion of the 'nice' date with James. "Yes she is…I liked her…do you think she's right for him though?"

"I don't believe he thinks so."

"Why, what did he say?"

"Nothing…he didn't have to…I could just tell."

"Well he was smiling at her a lot…he had his arm round her and gave her a kiss at one point…he seemed quite attentive to me."

"He's just going through the motions."

"What do you mean?" Sybil felt quite frustrated, it was as if Tom had decided to talk in riddles without any firm explanation of what was inside his head.

Tom put his arm around her and kissed her head as they walked. "When we started going out with each other, I couldn't keep my hands off you…nor you me…don't deny it…" he laughed "to be honest, we're still much the same over a year later."

Contentedly, Sybil snuggled into him and smiled before he continued. "I've seen him with several girlfriends over the years and with most of them, he's behaved just as he did tonight…perfectly attentive and good natured, but then a few weeks or months later, he gets bored and dumps them."

"So that's what you think he'll do?"

"I'm not saying that he doesn't like her or fancy her or whatever…I'm sure he does, but he's not smitten with her…not like I was with you very quickly. Even if I wasn't actually in love with you for a while, I felt that it might well go that way…I could see that there was potentially more to come."

Sybil stopped as they turned into their road and opened the front gate. She leant forward and kissed him appreciatively "Maybe Kieran isn't like you…isn't as receptive to a big love story?" she suggested.

Tom shook his head as he pulled his key out of his coat pocket and began to unlock the front door "I've seen him twice be really smitten with someone…the first was this girl called Claire, who was the one he followed to Liverpool...he was really keen on her and that's why he moved with her when she got a job there." He stood to one side and motioned for Sybil to enter first.

"And what happened, didn't you say that she moved on somewhere else?" asked Sybil as she took off her coat and began hang it up.

"Yeah, she was a nurse and unfortunately for Kieran, she fell for a doctor at her new job…like something out of a novel really…please make sure you don't ever leave me for a doctor, won't you?" he grinned at her good naturedly "...this guy then got a job in Leeds and she went with him…Kieran was gutted at the time and I presumed that he'd go back home, but as you know he decided to stay there."

"Right…" Sybil walked into the living room, sat down on the sofa and looked back up at him inquisitively "…so who was the second one?"

Tom raised his eyebrows and gave a deep sigh "He'd probably deny it, given what subsequently happened, but in my opinion…Gwen."

* * *

"Happy Christmas Syb"

Sybil opened her eyes to see Tom's grinning face about three feet above her from the top bunk. She smiled and he instantly disappeared from view, his bare feet then dangling down before he launched himself forward and landed heavily on the floor beside her.

"God, that hurts more than it used to" he muttered, rubbing his ankle tenderly "Come on, budge up…" He lifted the corner of her duvet and she pressed her back against the wall to give him room, wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling him draw her close.

A few minutes later, Sybil slapped his wandering hand and whispered "Tom…I am NOT doing that with your mother in the next room."

"You don't seem to have any problem with doing things at Downton…" he whispered, offering a soft kiss to her neck and attempting fruitlessly to lift her pyjama top. "…even despite the logistical difficulties of being in separate rooms, you seem to be quite imaginative in that area."

"That's different" she smiled at Tom's raised eyebrow "my parents are a whole wing away" her voice lowered to a whisper and she gesticulated behind her back "your Mum is on the other side of this wall!"

He kissed her nose gently "Spoilsport". It was said in good humour and he turned to lay on his back, tucking an arm under her shoulders and giving her another squeeze.

"I'm so glad we can spend Christmas together" he continued "it was a bit odd last year, really."

"Well you were all in that little flat together and not in Dublin, so it must have been strange."

"I didn't entirely know where I stood with you either."

"Really?" she gave a little snigger and kissed his shoulder "I thought I made my intentions fairly clear after Brussels."

"Well yes, there was that." he smiled contentedly at the memory "I think I realised that I was really falling for you around Christmas and I remember wishing that I could spend it with you, but not wanting to frighten you off."

"Everybody conducts a bit of a nervous dance at the beginning of relationships really, don't they?" she mused, thinking of Rhian and her anxiety, which in Tom's estimation would come to fruition at some point in the near future.

"Do you remember when you phoned me on Christmas Day and I told you about us bumping into Gwen and you said something about how it was a pity they couldn't meet in a few years' time?"

"Yes"

"And then I asked what you thought we'd be doing by then and you went completely silent…I thought I'd really blown it…I remember thinking 'Tom, you idiot…she's going to flee with terror now.'"

Sybil raised herself up on one elbow and smiled.

"But I thought that I might have scared you off by even indirectly mentioning a few years' time…I mean, I was just talking about them and not really thinking about us at all… and then you asked that question and I wondered if you were getting stressed at the thought."

"And then we were both completely non-committal" he laughed "neither of us gave anything away."

"You did."

"Did I? What did I say?"

"That you were really happy and that you thought about me a lot…I walked around on cloud nine for the rest of the evening."

"Oh yes, I'd forgotten that…it's funny, all those fears and anxieties just disappeared after Aiden arrived. It all seemed to make sense after that."

"Well that's because you declared your undivided love to me."

"True…I should do that more often perhaps?"

"Well, I'll start by saying that I love you very much and I don't ever want to spend a Christmas apart from you again, not for as long as I live...and no, you can stop that right now, because I am STILL not going to do it with your mother in the next room!"

* * *

Sybil loved her first Christmas in Dublin, although she missed her family and felt an unexpected lump in her throat when she spoke to them on the telephone late that morning.

"It's knowing exactly where everyone is and what they're doing…nothing changes at Downton" she explained afterwards when Tom broached his concern about the expression on her face as she made the phonecall.

"We'll go there next year" he promised and she gave him a grateful smile before he continued "whereas it's all different here this year…there hasn't been a baby in the house for a long time, it's great isn't it?"

Edie glanced up as she sat on the living room floor and grinned at them, retrieving soggy wrapping paper from inside Aiden's mouth. "I'm not sure he's quite appreciating it all this year, but it'll be lovely as he gets a bit older."

"I expect a houseful before too long!" announced Elaine as she came in with a tray of hot drinks and placed it carefully on a table, out of a now mobile Aiden's reach. "He'll be spoiled rotten by us all if he's the only one…no don't worry Edie, I don't want you having any more, thank you."

"Well Mam…you know, Sybil's only 23, we're not thinking about all that just yet." Tom replied cautiously.

"Ah now, I don't mean you either…nor you Kieran, don't give me that look of overwhelming panic…I'm talking about Fiona and Niall…I really hope they don't wait too long…I'm full of anticipation every time they walk through the door"

"Mam, give her a break" said Kieran, rolling his eyes. "she's only been married three months!"

"Tom was born ten months after Dad and I were married."

"It's not a competition, Mam…"

Elaine cooked Christmas dinner for twelve, as they were joined by Shelagh, her husband Brian, Daniel and Lauren, in addition to the newlyweds. Squashed around a table intended to seat a maximum of eight, Sybil reflected on the contrast against her childhood home, with its elegant interiors, expected protocol and centuries' old tradition. She adored her family and looked forward to spending more Christmases with them in forthcoming years, yet she felt an unprecedented sense of contentment with the Bransons. Returning from the kitchen where she had taken some plates; she stood still momentarily and watched as Aiden was passed happily from a lap to a pair of outstretched arms, the teenage cousins bickered good naturedly, wine was poured and enthusiastically drunk, Elaine roared with laughter at one of her sister's stories and Kieran pulled an extra cracker across the table with Fiona. Tom glanced across the room and raised a questioning eyebrow at her, leading her to offer a warm smile of reassurance in return, before she sat back down next to him.

'Alright?" he asked, taking her hand and stealing a brief kiss.

"Perfect" was her sincere response.

* * *

"Hello Lady Grantham" Tom remarked cheerfully as he took a seat next to Sybil's grandmother on New Year's Eve. "Did you have an enjoyable Christmas?"

"Yes, very pleasant thank you Tom, although we missed darling Sybil of course…Although, we were at least spared the company of that dreadful woman this year."

"Which dreadful woman…oh you mean Martha?" Tom chuckled "I thought she was quite entertaining."

Violet Crawley offered an expression of pure disapproval "Perhaps…if one enjoys an evening at a variety show, which I am afraid I do not…so tell me, are you enjoying your job? Did you know that Robert now takes your paper as well The Times? Quite frankly, I worry that he'll be subscribing to the Morning Star next, it's a slippery slope to communism."

Tom smiled "I'd imagine that hell will probably freeze over before Robert becomes a comrade, I wouldn't worry. Presumably he's just checking up on me, making sure that I'm not stirring up a revolt?"

"Well quite…one can never be too certain." she gave him a little smile and leant forward conspiratorially. "Now, when are you going to make an honest woman of Sybil?" she raised a hand to halt his reply "Edith has now moved in with Anthony so all three of the girls are, or have been living in sin…I am well aware that modern sensibilities no longer see this as a pressing issue, but with the very unfortunate departure of Matthew, I am looking at you to revert the trend."

"I promise you that you won't have to wait indefinitely."

"Good, I was rather worried that you might be one of these alternative types, who talk about a piece of paper being worthless and that love is all you need."

"Well love is all you need, but I'm a good Catholic boy, so I want to do it properly in the long run."

"Oh, Good heavens above, I hadn't even considered that! Will you want to marry in your church?" Violet gave an involuntary shudder and Tom stifled a smile.

"I don't feel very strongly about it, so probably not. I think Sybil would want to be married around here, so I'm happy to do whatever she wants and I'll take responsibility for defending it all to my mother…but please, I haven't actually asked her yet and it's not imminent, so can I ask you not to share these comments with anyone else…not until it's all settled?"

Violet tipped her head and smiled "You have my word Tom, just don't leave it too long, that's all…I'm not a young woman and I don't have time on my side!"

As Tom continued to chat amicably with her grandmother, Sybil cornered Mary in another room.

"So, have you heard anything back from Matthew yet, you said on the phone that you'd asked him to meet you?"

"I have…it's been over three months now, we need to have a proper chat about it all and decide what happens one way or another…But yes, he has agreed and we're meeting for dinner in a fortnight."

"That's great!" her sister enthused.

Mary shook her head "Don't go getting your hopes up, Sybil. It's a practical arrangement as much as anything. He's renting his own flat now, I understand, so he wants to pick up the remainder of his things. I invited him over for supper, but he was adamant that we had to meet on neutral ground."

"And how do you feel about it all now?"

Mary gave an earnest sigh and looked Sybil directly in the eye "I miss him…terribly. This is between me and you, I don't want anybody feeling sorry for me. But this enforced absence has made me realise how much I still love him."

"Well that's good news!"

"But my opinions haven't changed, Sybil…that's the problem. I'm prepared to discuss them and try to find some form of compromise, but the fact remains that I am not ready to get married at this stage in my career and I will not be bullied into doing something that I don't want to do."

"Don't use the word bullied again, when you meet him, will you?"

Mary smiled "You're right, it didn't go down at all well last time and I don't want to simply revisit old ground. But this is only my point of view and I have absolutely no idea how Matthew feels about me now…hopefully he'll tell me one way or another."

"How will you cope if you can't resolve it all?" Sybil could only consider her own position under similar circumstances and was certain that her heart would break. Mary, however, had an entirely different character and was able to consider a more objective viewpoint.

"Well I'll be sad of course…terribly unhappy and disappointed, but if that's the case, then I will have to accept it and move on…don't make that face, Sybil, you know that I'm not somebody who mopes. Work will keep me occupied…we secured that contract in London by the way, it's with the Barwell Group, who run over half of the local newspapers in the South East, so I'll be coming down every month for at least a couple of days."

"Well, that's excellent news at least…I miss not seeing so much of you, Mary, so I'm glad, but I'll be crossing all my fingers and toes that you and Matthew can sort something out."

"What will be, will be." Mary replied with a rueful smile.

* * *

"Robert, I wondered if I might have a brief word at some point while we're here?" Tom asked respectfully as he saw Sybil's father on the stairs some time later in the evening.

"Of course. Do you want to do that now?"

"Please don't feel obliged right this moment, with the party in full swing…tomorrow will be fine."

"No, there's no time like the present...come into my study "

As he shut the door behind them both, Robert gave Tom an awkward smile "I'm having a sensation of déjà vu, I don't know about you?"

"Ah, last year…yes" Tom nodded in what he hoped was an amicable and forgiving manner. "Well, you know I did subsequently understand your concerns…I think that if I ever have a daughter, I'll probably be equally as protective."

"I probably didn't put it in the most tactful manner at the time" Robert conceded. "Still, you have lived up to your word so far and I hope that continues to be the case…I'm aware of your continuing financial commitments to your sister and admire the fact that you didn't refer to it in your article…which, by the way, I thought was very well written and quite self-deprecating."

"Thank you. I hope it didn't cause you any awkwardness. "

"Not at all. I would also like you to know that Cora and I are both very grateful for your offer to cover Sybil's living expenses if she is accepted at medical school. We would have been happy to provide her with an allowance in support, but she tells us that you intend to cover all the bills in the flat while she's studying. That's a substantial commitment."

"Well, I hope to move things forward with Sybil and that's really why I wanted to speak to you."

Robert remained silent, but tipped his head in an enquiring manner.

"I'm intending to ask her to marry me at some point."

"At some point? Excuse me, but that seems rather vague and if you don't mind me saying, almost a little meaningless."

"I'm sorry not to be able to be more specific, but firstly I want to wait until she's heard back from medical school…I don't think that she can realistically plan for the future until she has an answer….and secondly, I don't yet have a specific date or place in mind, because it's become a bit of a running joke between us that it will be when she's least expecting it."

"So she knows that you're planning to propose?"

"Yes…we talk a lot about the long term future and there's no doubt in either of our minds that we will get married, but we haven't ever discussed a timeframe or any specific details…it's an unspoken agreement that we'll talk about it once I've asked her."

"And you're in here to ask me for my permission, I presume?"

"Well…" Tom hesitated awkwardly "…without wanting to sound in any way rude, I don't believe that I need your permission." Robert raised an eyebrow but didn't speak.

"I don't believe that she's anybody's property so to speak, she's a fully functioning adult who knows her own mind and can make her own decisions…however, I would like to know that I have your blessing…and Cora's too." He gave a light laugh "I mean, I'll be asking her regardless, but it would mean a great deal to me, not to mention Sybil, if I knew that I had your support."

"I see." Robert looked down at the floor for a moment before raising his head and offering a smile. "I admire your honesty, Tom and while I appreciate the old traditions of yesteryear, I also concede that we live in a different era than when Cora and I were married…Your integrity does you credit."

"Bearing in mind last year's conversation, I'll take that as a compliment, thank you."

"I know that I can speak on behalf of Cora as well as myself, when I say that you have made our daughter very happy and secure again and as her parents, we are very grateful." He held out his hand towards Tom. "We will be very happy to have you as our son-in-law."

Tom gave an internal sigh of relief and returned the handshake, as Robert continued.

"Welcome to the family, Tom."


	7. Chapter 7

"So anyway, how was your New Year, Rhian?" asked Sybil as she fetched glasses out of a kitchen cupboard and began to place them on the table.

"Quite fun, thanks…I went to a pub in the village with a couple of friends…one of them managed to persuade her parents to babysit her little girl, so she was determined to go out and enjoy herself. We knew pretty much everyone there, so it was a good laugh." She sighed briefly, however "Nobody's life has changed there at all though…nor do they want it to…it made me glad to come back to London afterwards."

Sybil had bumped into Rhian on the High Street following their return from Yorkshire. After a few minutes of friendly chat, Rhian had remarked how much she had enjoyed the evening with her and Tom prior to Christmas and Sybil had impulsively invited them both round to dinner the following week.

She lowered her voice slightly "And how are things with you and Kieran now?" The two brothers were in the living room and she surreptitiously pushed the kitchen door closed with her foot so they couldn't overhear.

Rhian smiled happily "OK, I think…he seemed pretty happy to see me again…I'd hardly heard anything from him over Christmas, so I did wonder if he was having second thoughts, but so far, so good!"

"And you're still as keen on him?"

"Yes" Rhian nodded "I don't want you to think I'm obsessing over him or anything, but it's always difficult to know where you stand at first…I've decided to just enjoy it and see what happens."

Before Sybil could reply, Tom opened the door "Why did you shut this?...Right, how is my culinary creation getting on?…come on, out of the way please ladies, and leave the master to his work…"

Sybil rolled her eyes and indicated with her head that they should join Kieran in the living room. Rhian sat down on the sofa next to him and he instantly put his arm around her and leant forward for a quick kiss. Watching them with a smile, Sybil wondered if Tom had been previously mistaken in his assessment of Kieran's feelings, or whether an enforced absence over Christmas had marked a change. Regardless, they each seemed happy and comfortable in one another's company.

The meal proved a success and after some initially stilted conversation at the start, there was subsequently plenty of laughter and good natured banter. They were just coming to the end of their chocolate mousse, when the doorbell rang and Tom and Sybil looked at one another with surprise.

"I'll go" announced Sybil brightly and walked out to the hallway. Tentatively opening the door in case they had an unwelcome visitor, her fears were well founded when she saw an intoxicated Gwen beaming at her.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"That's not very nice, Syb…I come to see my best friend and now you don't look very pleased to see me."

"You know why I'm not very pleased to see you."

Gwen made an unsuccessful attempt at a face filled with innocence. "No I don't" she lied.

"I told you who was coming here, when you asked me if I'd come out to this drinks thing tonight."

Gwen slapped her hand on her forehead and laughed "Oh, silly me…I forgot…it's Kieran and his new girlfriend, isn't it?...Everything going well then?...Are you all having a cosy time?"

"Gwen…" pleaded Sybil, barring her friend from attempting to enter.

"Is everything OK, Syb?" called Tom before he poked his head around the doorframe. With a look of horror, he quickly walked to the front door, glaring at Sybil as he did so.

"I didn't invite her!" she defensively responded.

"What do you want, Gwen?" he asked in as normal a tone as he could muster "only it's not a very convenient time at the moment."

"I wondered if I could sleep in your spare room please?" asked Gwen, attempting to put on her most angelic face, while her words slurred. "I've been out with some people from med school and I'm a bit pissed you see and I know you wouldn't want me travelling home on my own like this…" she tipped her head to one side sorrowfully "someone might try and take advantage of me."

"Oh for God's sake!" Tom muttered, looking at Sybil, who shrugged her shoulders in defeat and stepped back.

"Thanks!" Gwen cried, lightly skipping over the step and starting to turn into the living room.

"The spare room's straight ahead, Gwen!" Tom reminded her, but it was too late. Having heard the commotion, Kieran was standing at the entrance of the kitchen with his arms folded, his face like thunder.

Gwen flung her arms out in a dramatic fashion "Kieran!" she called and staggered across the room, tripping over the corner of the sofa as she did so. "How are you?" As she reached up and attempted to give him a kiss on the cheek, he stepped backwards and she staggered into the kitchen, colliding into him.

"Christ, it's like watching a car crash…" whispered Tom in dismay, feeling frozen to the spot and unable to avert the impending danger.

"Hello…you must be Sian?" Gwen said with forced cheerfulness as she stood up and recovered, waving an arm wildly towards the table.

"Rhian" growled Kieran furiously

"Right…" she flapped her hand around nonchalantly "oh well, I knew it was Welsh…hello Rhian!" and attempted another wave. Rhian was watching her with utter confusion but smiled politely and looked towards Kieran uncertainly.

"I'm Gwen…Sybil's friend…is there any more wine?" she began to walk unsteadily towards the table.

"I think you've probably had enough, Gwen" said Sybil firmly and laid a hand on her friend's arm. Gwen shook it off and sat down opposite Rhian, draining the glass from which Sybil had earlier been drinking. She nodded her head towards Kieran and spoke in an exaggerated whisper.

"Kieran and I had a bit of a thing at one point…a long time ago now…didn't we Kieran?"

Tom could see a pulse in his brother's cheek and watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"Well, we all make mistakes" he said levelly, looking at Gwen directly.

"Oh Kieran, don't disappoint me…" Gwen shrilled and giggled "…we had fun!"

"Right, let's go…come on Rhian..."

"When was this?" asked Rhian suddenly, glancing firstly at him and then at Gwen.

"Oooh…last year…" slurred Gwen, shaking an empty bottle of wine and peering at it with one eye closed.

"Did you move down here because of her?" she asked quietly

"No!...God no…I came to be with my family…I told you that."

"Twas a bit cos of me though, wasn't it Kieran?" Gwen leant her head on a hand, trying to offer him a coy smile until her elbow shot off the table and she fell sideways. Sybil grabbed her shoulders and raised her back up again.

"Gwen…go to bed…please." she pleaded

"Don't tell me what to do, Syb…I'm having a lovely little chat with Kieran and his new friend…"

"I don't know what you're doing, Gwen…" Kieran said quietly "…but please can you stop now and go away…to bed…or wherever?"

Gwen smiled in what she clearly thought was a seductive manner "Only if you come with me!" she giggled, then put her hand over her mouth and glanced at Rhian "Sorry" she said with obvious mirth.

"That's enough!" bellowed Tom "Gwen…shut the fuck up!"

"Don't you speak to me like that!" Gwen wagged her finger in the air, her head wobbling slightly before turning back "Kieran…don't you miss me just a little bit?"

"I can't see anything to miss, Gwen" he replied evenly.

Rhian coughed suddenly and stood up "You know…I think I'm going to go home now."

"I'll come with you" Kieran said with obvious relief, but she put her hand out to halt his progress.

"No…I'll go on my own…you stay here…you've obviously got things to sort out."

"Oh don't be like that, Rhian…there's nothing going on any more…it was ages ago!"

"There's clearly something going on in your head though…don't deny it, I can tell…she might be a drunken idiot, but you can't take your eyes off her."

"Because she's making such a fool of herself!" Kieran protested, raising his hands in defence.

"I wish you looked at me half as intently…I'm not stupid, Kieran…I thought you were still holding a flame for someone and it all makes sense now…please don't grab me like that…just let me go home." She turned to Tom and gave a weak smile "Thank you for a lovely meal."

"Bye…!" giggled Gwen, offering a mock solemn expression. Rhian opened her mouth, but thought better of it and simply ignored her as she exited the kitchen. Sybil hurried after her.

"I'm so, so sorry Rhian…she's not usually like that…I don't know what's the matter with her really."

"Don't you?" Rhian muttered and swung around to face Sybil as she grabbed her coat. Adopting a mocking upper class accent, she hissed "I don't know anything about his history I'm afraid…" repeating her words from the first time they had met. In shock at the sudden vicious tone to her response, Sybil took a step backwards.

"She's your friend…and I confided in you…you bitch!" spat Rhian and slammed the front door behind her, leaving Sybil open mouthed and with shaking hands.

On her return to the kitchen, she found Tom trying once again to unsuccessfully guide Gwen to the spare room.

"Sorry about that Kieran…" Gwen continued with insincerity, still slurring her words "…but I don't think she was really your type."

Suddenly Kieran erupted with rage "How the fuck do you know? What the hell is wrong with you?...Christ! You didn't want me and she did…and now you've completely fucked it all up…thanks a lot!" Gwen attempted to move towards him, although in reality it was more of a stagger, but Kieran put his hands out in front and moved away.

"Don't you dare touch me, Gwen…I am so fucking angry…what the hell do you actually want, anyway?...Is it just to make everyone else as unhappy as you?" He stood glowering at her, his fury finally seeming to be making an impact as Gwen stood swaying and looking quietly at the floor.

"Well? Come on…enlighten us all…what do you actually want?" he repeated.

"You" she said quietly and glanced hesitantly up at him. For a couple of seconds, the entire room went silent and Sybil found herself holding her breath with anticipation, but Kieran broke the peace with a heavy sigh.

"Maybe tonight you do, when you're drunk and fancy a shag…but tomorrow it'll be back to 'oh no, I don't want a boyfriend…this is just a bit of fun, Kieran'…I'm not falling for it, Gwen."

"I won't…" Gwen began to protest but Kieran held his hands up again and shook his head.

"You're pathetic…go and look at yourself in the mirror and see if you like what's there…because I sure as hell don't any more…" He glanced firstly at Sybil and then at Tom "I'm sorry about all this…it was kind of you to invite us and I apologise that it's turned into such a mess."

"It's not your fault" Tom muttered, while Kieran gave him a brief pat on the back prior to exiting the room.

"I'll give you a call" he added and moments later, they heard the front door shut.

"Please get her into bed" Tom said, avoiding Sybil's gaze and began to clear plates from the table. Gwen's eyes had filled with tears and she meekly allowed Sybil to guide her out of the kitchen and towards the spare room.

"You were right…" she sniffled "…and now he hates me."

Sybil tried to offer some reassurance, doubtful that any words of wisdom would be recalled the following morning. "Shhh now…he doesn't hate you, he's just angry at the moment, that's all…just get into bed and we'll talk about it tomorrow…I'll get you some water and paracetemol…and perhaps a bucket, just in case."

Ten minutes later, after having helped her friend to swallow two tablets, drink a pint of water and get out of her clothes and into one of Sybil's old t-shirts, she closed the spare room door behind her and leant on it momentarily, reflecting on how unpleasant the entire situation had been.

"What an evening, hey?" she said with artificial jollity as she returned to the kitchen. Tom had his back to her, washing some glasses in the sink, but he suddenly swung around, his face angrier than she had ever seen.

"I told you not to meddle…I said don't get involved and what did you do?" he shouted and Sybil stared in astonishment before he continued "You couldn't bloody help yourself, could you?!"

"I didn't!" she protested, holding on to a kitchen counter in disbelief at the aggression in his voice.

Tom waved a soapy hand in the air "Right, it was just a complete coincidence that she turned up tonight, was it?! How the hell did she know they were here?"

"Don't shout at me like that…" Sybil replied slowly and appearing more serene than she internally felt.

"So explain it then!"

"I asked you to stop shouting…"

He coughed and looked at the floor, taking a deep breath before returning his gaze to her. "OK… go on then…I'm all ears"

"I did not meddle, I did not make the decision to tell Gwen anything, but she specifically asked me if Kieran was seeing anyone else and I am not prepared to give a bare faced lie…to anyone."

"Right…so how did she know he was here tonight?"

"Because she asked me if I would go to this drinks event, organised by one of her tutors in a bar up the road…she didn't want to go, but thought she ought to show her face, so she asked me if I'd come along and said we could go off elsewhere afterwards."

"So you told her that they were coming round?"

"You seem to have a very poor impression of me, Tom!" He at least had the grace to look awkward at this accusation, before she continued "I said that I couldn't come and she just wouldn't take no for an answer…kept asking what I was doing and to begin with, I avoided replying and then I eventually said that we had people coming round and she just guessed…" Sybil shrugged "…again, once she directly asked me, I couldn't lie."

"Did you think she might turn up like that?"

Sybil shook her head adamantly "Not at all…I thought she might ask me about it afterwards, but no…I've never known her behave quite that badly before…I'm sure she's going to feel absolutely awful about it tomorrow, but the damage appears to have been done."

Tom nodded and opened his mouth to reply, but Sybil quickly continued "And I hope you will too, because I do not appreciate being shouted at like that…you are not my father and I'm very upset that you immediately sprang to the worst conclusion about what I'd said and done…you asked me not to interfere and I didn't."

He sighed "I'm sorry" and stepped towards her in a conciliatory manner.

"Good…I'm going to bed…I'll leave you to clear up…goodnight." Without waiting to hear a response, Sybil turned on her heel and walked to their bedroom. Lying angrily in bed, fuming at Tom's unjust presumption and reliving the evening's events, she wasn't sure how long it was before he finally joined her. With her eyes closed, she could smell whiskey fumes as he lifted the duvet and lay down. Before long, his arm crept around her waist and he moved closer, his breath warm on the back of her neck.

"I'm really sorry, Syb" he whispered and when there was no response "I know you're awake…I can tell from your breathing…please talk to me."

She turned over with such speed that he only narrowly avoided a clash of heads, throwing his backwards on the pillow. Reaching for her hand under the covers, he massaged it gently and leant forward to offer a soft kiss. While it wasn't reciprocated, she didn't push him away and he felt confident enough to try and offer further explanation.

"I was so angry on Kieran's behalf…and embarrassed for poor Rhian…I should never have thought that you would…"

"Well now you know I didn't."

"Yep…now I know that Gwen is simply deranged" she could tell that he meant it in a light hearted manner, although there was likely to be an element of truth in his words.

"I think there might be some grovelling in the morning, as well as a certain amount of self-loathing."

Tom gave a light snort of agreement "Was that just a one-off do you think, or is there something I don't know about her?"

He didn't press her for an answer, aware that Sybil was wrestling with her conscience and choosing carefully what to share.

"She's a bit emotionally bruised…" she finally offered hesitantly.

"Well presumably not from within the last year or so since I've known her?"

"No, from before I even knew her."

"Right…so what happened that she behaves like that five or so years later?"

Sybil's hand reached forward and almost absentmindedly, she fiddled with the t-shirt he was wearing in bed, tugging at it and twisting it around her finger.

"Ow…that was a hair…I know you're angry with me, but it hurt."

"You don't have chest hairs" she challenged with a slight giggle.

"I have a couple, thank you very much…probably only one now, actually."

"Sorry…anyway, well Gwen went out with this guy called Jack when she was in the sixth form…he was a bit older, about 19 or 20, I think."

"OK" he encouraged her gently, pushing her hand away from his t-shirt and deciding it was safer to hold it instead.

"And from what she's told me, he was all sweetness and light at first, you know…and girls are pretty envious at that age of anyone going out with someone who has already left school and has a car and everything, so I think she was swept away by it all…thought she was in love."

"And then what happened?"

"He turned out to be an emotional bully, which is easy for me and even her to say objectively now, several years afterwards, but at the time, it sounds as if he just slowly turned the knife…kept putting her down and telling her that she was fat, so made her feel pretty worthless about herself...I've seen photos of her from that time and she wasn't at all fat…I mean, she's never going to be a skinny minnie, they're all shapely and curvy in her family…and of course your hormones are all over the place at that age, but she definitely wasn't fat."

"And even if she was, he shouldn't have said it."

"Exactly…you would presume that he was going out with her because he liked her the way she was, but it turned out that he was cheating on her and just using her really…but the worst of it was that she became bulimic."

"As a result of what he kept saying?"

"Yes…she lost a bit of weight and then was desperate to lose more, but her Mum cottoned on to the fact that something was going on and made her eat…and then she started throwing it up instead…again, thankfully her Mum realised what was happening after a while and she had to go and visit a doctor every week to get weighed and to a regular support group… anyway, it took quite a while for her to have a healthy attitude towards food again."

"But she's OK now?...I mean, we've had meals with her and I've never seen her playing about with her food."

"Yes, but I think it's always at the back of her mind…the main issue now is just her complete lack of trust in men."

"Is that why she goes through so many…I'm not being facetious, Syb…but she seems quite keen on men to me."

Sybil sighed "She's scared of getting too close to anyone, I think…in case it all happens again."

"Do you think that's what happened with Kieran, why she walked away so abruptly?"

"Yes…she did exactly the same with someone at college that she went out with…it all seemed to be going well and then she just finished it for no apparent reason."

"And in the meantime, she just goes from one to another?"

"She got herself a pretty poor reputation at the beginning of uni…I think she was just reacting to what had happened with Jack and had really low esteem…but I reckon she uses sex to make her feel better about herself…I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, but I don't think that it makes her any happier in the long run."

Tom thought for a moment, before speculating "Do you think Kieran might know any of this?"

"I don't know…I shouldn't think so, she tends to avoid confiding in anyone…I mean, she didn't tell me until we were really close friends…why?"

"Just something he said about trying to make everyone as unhappy as her."

"Oh…well, I suppose it's possible."

"I'm not sure he's going to forgive her for tonight though."

"No, I don't suppose I blame him…it's such a shame, when it seems that they were both really keen on each other."

"We have to let them sort it out now, Syb…" he warned gently "…or not, as the case may be."

"I know…so it seems that you were right in the end about it all ending up messy and complicated."

"I'm usually right."

"Oh shut up…big head."

"Have you forgiven me for shouting yet?"

"Hmmm…" Sybil deliberately waited before replying "Yes…but I didn't like it at all, Tom…we haven't really ever argued before and I hated it."

"Me too, I'm sorry."

"We mustn't ever fight again."

He smiled in the dark and reached out to stroke her hair "That's probably a little unrealistic over a lifetime, to be honest…But we should definitely never go to bed on an argument…Mam always says that."

"She's right…so how are you going to make it up to me?"

"Mmmm…" he pondered with a smirk as he began to gently kiss her shoulder blade "…right, well you just lie right there and I'll do my best…"


	8. Chapter 8

Gwen avoided any immediate recrimination by leaving the flat early the following morning. From her drowsy half slumber, Sybil heard the front door click quietly and guessed correctly that her friend could not yet face a post mortem of the previous evening's events. On the kitchen table, she later found a scribbled note:

_I'm so, so sorry. I feel absolutely terrible – both physically and mentally._

_I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I hope that in time, you will be able to do so._

_I love you both – Gwen x_

_PS Please apologise to Kieran, I know that he won't want to hear it from me personally._

"I'll give him a call later…" said Tom after reading it "…just check he's OK." He paused for a moment "Do you have any contact details for Rhian…do you think we should try to speak to her and apologise on Gwen's behalf?"

"You can if you like…" muttered Sybil as she sipped a cup of tea "…I don't feel very inclined, to be honest." and she shared Rhian's parting comments with an indignant Tom. "She was angry and upset…" she added, shrugging her shoulders "…but I'd rather just avoid her, personally."

Tom wanted to visit the National Portrait Gallery that weekend in order to see a new exhibition by a well-known Irish photographer, so they had already agreed to travel into central London and stop somewhere for lunch afterwards. "We may as well make the most of having some money in our pockets for the time being…we won't have much spare cash come September, if you get into med school" he added.

Sybil hadn't been to the Gallery for several years and she enjoyed the temporary exhibition, displaying stark black and white images of rural Irish life and the harsh, yet beautiful surrounding landscape.

"How much of Ireland have you seen?" she asked curiously and Tom looked momentarily embarrassed.

"Not as much as I should…it's always the way when you come from there, I guess…I've been to Cork and Galway and up to Belfast and the Giant's Causeway…we had some family holidays in Kerry and Donegal, but there's still lots more I'd like to explore."

"I'm probably the same with Britain" Sybil admitted "quite a lot of main cities and towns, but there are huge gaps really…I've never been to Cornwall, or East Anglia and as for Wales, well I was thinking yesterday when I was talking to Rhian, that I once visited a school friend at uni in Cardiff but I've not seen anything else of it."

"We'll have to have lots of holidays in Britain and Ireland over the years then" Tom smiled, taking her hand.

"Interspersed with trips to the Med so we can guarantee to get some sun!" she agreed.

Before heading back out into the freezing January temperatures, Sybil suggested that they brace themselves with warming hot drinks and led him to the café. The room was filled with customers, all having a similar idea, but Tom found a small table facing the door and sat there, reading the football updates on his phone, while Sybil bought a coffee and hot chocolate. They sat quietly for a while, each sipping their drinks and lost in their own thoughts until Sybil's rumbling stomach brought their impending lunch to her attention.

"Do you have any thoughts about where we should go…'cos I don't really want to be wandering around aimlessly in this cold weather…I think we should make a plan and just march straight there…" her train of thought halted as she watched Tom's eyes widen in surprise at something behind her. She felt momentarily concerned and then just as she was about to turn around inquisitively herself, the colour drained from his cheeks and he began to rise awkwardly to his feet.

"Charlotte…" he said and shoved his hands in his pockets, a sign that Sybil knew indicated discomfort. She was surprised that she didn't hear a loud crack, so quickly did she turn her head in order to face the young woman standing a little behind her chair. Taking in her long dark, straight hair, pretty oval face and deep, blue eyes, a brief thought passed through her mind 'well Tom certainly has a type.'

A faint flush emerged on the woman's cheeks and her eyes narrowed marginally. "Oh…Tom…God…um, this is a bit of a surprise."

"Er..how are you?" Tom brought his left hand out of his pocket and uneasily ran his hand through his hair.

"Fine…and you?"

"Good thanks…um…well, you look very well."

"So do you." her gaze fell on Sybil, who had remained seated, her body twisted around so she could try to better observe the exchange.

"Sorry…um…this is Sybil" Tom waved his hand in a self-conscious manner "Sybil…this is Charlotte." his eyes bore into hers, silently pleading with her not to ask any questions for the time being.

There was a further awkward silence before he cleared his throat nervously "So….where are you living now?"

"Hammersmith"

"Right."

"It's better for work actually."

"Sure…still at the same place?"

"Yes." He kept nodding his head and giving intermittent brief, tense smiles.

"So I've seen your name in The Guardian…or rather, it was pointed out to me…so congratulations on that."

"Thanks…yes, it's been good so far."

"Are you still in Clapham?"

He concurred before she continued "Still sharing with Rich and Eddie?"

"Er…no." Tom began to shuffle uncomfortably and coughed again "Um..with Sybil."

"Right." Charlotte nodded expressionlessly "Well…I…"

"So are you seeing the exhibition upstairs, or just looking generally?" Tom interrupted as he attempted a lighter tone to the conversation.

"Just thought we'd have a look around…I'm here with my boyfriend…he's in the loo so I said I'd grab some coffees first….oh!" she broke off suddenly and smiled "of course, I'd forgotten…you know him too; he and I recognised each other and that's how we first got together."

Tom tipped his head to one side in an enquiring manner.

"You played football with him" Charlotte continued and her face appeared to relax as she recalled a more pleasant memory "it was weird…I saw him in this bar after work and he nodded at me and then he came over and said 'didn't you used to go out with Tom Branson?' and it went from there really."

"So who?.." Tom began to ask before Charlotte raised an arm and gave a little wave towards the door "here he comes now."

"Charlie." Sybil was astonished at the venom with which Tom spat out the word and she turned to look at the man who had created such a reaction. His name made no immediate impression on her but she watched the look of recognition and then subsequent horror on Charlotte's boyfriend's face. Momentarily puzzled by the situation, she spotted how the man's chin jutted out and his mouth twisted in such a way that she was immediately reminded of Aiden's expression when displeased. Her stomach gave an instantly unpleasant lurch as she grasped the magnitude of who this was.

"Er…Tom…what a surprise." Charlie's voice stuttered and Sybil could hear the disquiet in his voice.

"I was just telling him how we recognised each other from before…you know, when we met again" Charlotte explained happily, seemingly oblivious to the tension before her.

Neither man reacted to her words, but instead continued to stare at one another, until Tom broke the silence and asked in an icy tone.

"So how are things, Charlie?...Life treating you well?"

An anxious cough preceded Charlie's apprehensive response "Er…yes…all good, thank you….and you?"

"Fine." Tom folded his arms defiantly and continued to look intently across at him. "Anything else you want to ask me?"

Sybil heard Charlie expel a breath before he lifted his shoulders slightly and gave a small nod.

"How…how's Edie?" he asked with apparent anxiety.

"Edie?" interrupted Charlotte, clearly bewildered by the conversation's turn "…what, as in your sister Edie?" she turned and looked at Charlie "How do you know her?"

"She's grand" nodded Tom solemnly "very well indeed."

"That's good to hear." Charlie attempted a weak smile, still ignoring Charlotte's questioning stance.

"And do you know who else is grand?" Tom continued and Sybil held her breath with uneasy anticipation. Tom tipped his head to one side and raised his eyebrows while he paused for dramatic effect. "Your son!"

"What?" Charlie's voice had reduced to a mere croak "…she had it?...I…I…thought…"

"…that she'd abort him…yes, I know what you thought." Tom's face was twisted in disgust "…but she didn't and we'll be celebrating his first birthday in a couple of weeks' time."

Sybil glanced at Charlotte and in an instant, all of the antagonism she had ever felt towards her disappeared as she watched the young woman's face crumple in shock with the comprehension of what she was hearing.

"He's called Aiden and he's just a great little fellow…isn't he Sybil?" Sybil avoided making any eye contact as she nodded, aware that her input into the conversation was superfluous. Glancing to her side, she noticed adjacent customers sitting motionless, holding their drinks and straining to hear the exchange.

Tom was in full flow now "And Edie had a pretty terrible pregnancy…thought she was going to lose him a few times…and then he came early…but you wouldn't know any of that, would you…because you didn't want to know…you just ran away and hid while she did it all on her own!"

"I…I…I didn't know…I didn't realise…" Charlie raised shaking hands in some form of defence and Charlotte turned her back on him, taking two steps away.

"Would you like a seat dear?" came the gentle offer from an older woman nearby, who had clearly heard every word of the conversation and had decided where her sympathies lay. Charlotte shook her head and Sybil could see that her eyes had filled with tears. Her natural instinct wanted to go over and try to offer some comfort, however she understood that any such move would almost certainly be rebuffed under the circumstances.

"Well now you do know!" Tom concluded, sounding almost triumphant and Sybil felt her stomach sicken at the potential consequence of what he had shared.

Charlie licked his lips nervously and rubbed his head with his hands "Does she still have the same email address?" he eventually asked weakly.

Tom hesitated for a moment and then gave a curt nod.

"I…I'll contact her…I promise…" Charlie stuttered "I just can't get my head around it…I'm sorry…I just didn't think that she'd want a baby…I shouldn't have…" he shook his head again and swallowed deeply.

"Tom…" he continued "I…I…know what you think…I mean…I understand that what I did…what I said to her…was just..." he closed his eyes briefly and shook his head before ending quietly "…fucking terrible."

Tom gave a snort of agreement before Charlie continued "My head's spinning, but I want to do the right thing…I mean, obviously I didn't when I had the chance before, but now I know…now that there's a child…I…I want to."

There was silence while the two men stared at one another and Sybil became aware of their neighbours beginning forced conversations in order to avoid their evident eavesdropping being observed. Although she knew that she had no right to interfere, she felt suddenly compelled to speak.

"She may not want you to." she said as firmly as she could manage. Both men looked at her simultaneously, her presence clearly forgotten amongst the emotional exchange.

"Pardon?" asked a startled Tom and Sybil cleared her throat nervously before resuming.

"Well…I'm just saying that maybe there's a reason why she hasn't tried to contact him, that's all."

"Well she did when she first found out and he just didn't want to know!" replied Tom with obvious impatience.

"Yes, because she was frightened and unsure about what was going to happen…look, I'm just saying that she's managing very well on her own and I'm not sure that she's going to be very receptive to him coming in and trying to play happy families all of a sudden." She turned to face Charlie and added "She might well tell you to get lost."

Charlie's face clouded instantly and he narrowed his eyes. "I think you'll find that I have a right to see him if I want to."

"You've got no fucking right to do anything" interrupted Tom with anger.

"Actually he has…" Sybil added and looked back at Charlie. "…so if you want to get unpleasant about it, then go ahead…I'm sure we couldn't have a worse impression of you than we already do…all I'm saying is that now you know, I wouldn't expect her undying gratitude for your sudden arrival...if you want my advice, which I'm sure you don't, you'll tread very carefully and earn your rights, rather than bluster in and demand them."

She turned to Tom "I can't see that anyone is going to benefit from this conversation continuing further, so I think we should go…Charlie will do whatever it is he feels is the right thing to do." She picked up her coat and scarf from the back of her chair and silently implored Tom to follow without further dispute. Pausing momentarily with a final defiant glare, he did so and ignored Charlie's parting "I'll be in touch." as they passed. Tom's eyes were fixed firmly on the café door, but Sybil glanced up and took in the distress and sense of betrayal etched on Charlotte's face, still standing anxiously, several paces away.

"I'm sorry" she whispered truthfully before Charlotte's head turned away in avoidance of any further communication. As they entered the Gallery's main concourse, she took Tom's arm and guided him towards the door.

"I need a drink" he muttered and she nodded.

"I know a pub round the back of Haymarket…come on, they might have the same idea and they're less likely to know that one."

When she returned from the bar with two glasses of Irish whiskey, Tom was sitting with his head in his hands.

"What have I done?" he asked imploringly as she set his drink before him.

"Nothing that anybody else wouldn't have done under the same circumstances" she tried to reassure.

"You seem to know the workings of Edie's mind better than me…has she said something to you about him?"

Sybil waited for a moment before answering carefully "I did ask her why she didn't contact him…for financial reasons more than anything…and she seemed anxious that it might complicate matters…" Resting her hand on Tom's arm as his head sank to the table in anguish, she resumed gently "…but the idea that you might bump into him and just not say anything…I mean, it's unrealistic…you shouldn't blame yourself…of course you were going to tell him…it's just a bizarre coincidence, London's so huge…the chances of seeing him again were fairly small, but never impossible…and that he's going out with Charlotte…"

Tom groaned "She didn't know, did she?...Oh God, I've just managed to break her heart for a second time…"

"Well one day she might thank you for it."

He raised an eyebrow "I think not."

"Well…what if she'd married him and then found out afterwards…my God, I'd want to know if my boyfriend had fathered a child and abandoned it!"

"I haven't, you'll be happy to hear."

"Good…but now she knows what he's like…and even if he's a changed man, she still needs to know."

"She doesn't deserve all this crap…she's a nice girl."

"Then I hope she meets a nicer boy and one day looks back with relief that she found out before it was too late…I have to say that bearing in mind what he'd done, it's a wonder that he went up to her in that bar and mentioned your name."

Tom shrugged "We split up quite a bit before he started going out with Edie…he was probably pretty confident that I wasn't in contact with her any more." He paused for a moment and sighed before adding. "I don't think he's a changed man, do you?"

Sybil shrugged "Well, I didn't know him before…I don't know to be honest…he looked completely floored by the news…but I didn't like that comment about his rights."

"He's a cocky bastard…"

"It might just have been bravado….we'll have to see."

"I need to warn Edie…and quickly…he could be emailing her this very minute."

Sybil shook her head "I don't think so…maybe later today, yes, but it's not the type of email you just shoot out on the bus home…he'll want to think about how to phrase it."

"Maybe, but I think we should go back to Clapham, just in case…I'm sorry Syb, but I don't think I'm up to lunch."

"Of course not…drink that and we'll go."

* * *

Arriving at Clapham Junction station, Tom indicated that he wanted to visit his sister alone.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along for moral support?" Sybil asked with genuine concern "…if she's upset with you then I can explain how the situation was unavoidable?"

He shook her head and gave her a sudden hug "I need to do this on my own…I'll see you at home later."

It was almost three hours before he wearily opened their front door and stepped inside. Sybil was on the phone to Edith, but mouthed 'nearly finished' at him as he lay down on the sofa and placed his hands behind his head.

"Well?" she asked moments later, crouching down on her heels next to him.

"She's expelled every kind of emotion known to man or woman, I think…cried, shouted…hit me…"

"Really?" Sybil exclaimed with astonishment.

"Yep…right here on my arm…I'm going to have one hell of a bruise tomorrow…she did apologise afterwards."

"And how is she now?"

"OK, I think…resigned…not so angry with me, I hope…I think she's realised that it was a fairly inescapable situation."

"Where was Aiden while all this happened?"

"Having his nap for most of it, thankfully."

"So, she really didn't want anything to do with Charlie at all?"

He shook his head "I don't think I'd realised quite how territorial she is with Aiden…I mean, she's happy for us or Kieran to take him out, but I guess we're not a threat to her relationship with him."

"Seeing his father from time to time…if that's what he's after…isn't going to alter Aiden's relationship with her."

"I don't think she can see it objectively, to be honest…she's too emotionally involved." Tom leant out and twisted Sybil's hair around one of his fingers in contemplation "I don't think we can really understand how she feels…not having one ourselves…and she's…well, she's done everything for him, pretty much and now she sees it as someone else trying to come in on his dashing white charger and spoil it all."

"Well we won't let him spoil it."

"No, he'll have to fight every inch of the way and prove himself…that is, if he contacts her at all…after all this, I'm starting to wonder if he'll just disappear again…take the easy way out…after all, he's done it before"

"It's a bit different now though…there's a real, tangible human involved this time…well, I guess we'll just have to see…have you eaten anything?"

He shook his head "No…and I'm starving…God, what a weekend! First Gwen and now this…have you heard from her by the way?"

"No, I'll give her a couple of days to feel a bit more human…come on" she stood up and then leant down to take his hand and pull him into a vertical position. "I'll make you something to eat."

They were curled up comfortably together on the sofa, watching a film at 8.30pm that evening, when Tom's phone beeped with a text message. Glancing at the screen, he sighed heavily and passed it over to Sybil.

**Email from Charlie. Full of regret. Wants to meet Aiden. Help! Edie x**


	9. Chapter 9

_A quick footballing explanation for those of you unfamiliar with the British league: there are two clubs in Manchester and until very recently, Manchester United (who David Beckham once played for) were the biggest and had more success. In 2008 Manchester City were taken over by an Arab consortium. Since then, they have had enormous sums of money invested and as a result, have become very successful. Maine Road was the name of their old stadium, before the money and subsequent trophies and that's where Matthew's Dad used to take him. Liverpool were probably the biggest club in the country during the 1970s and 1980s but have had limited success within the last 20 years. I won't even begin to try and explain the offside rule…_

_Cricket: The Oval and Lords are very famous cricket grounds in London._

* * *

"So…all in all, it was a pretty dramatic weekend!" Tom concluded as he bit into his sandwich hungrily. He had left home early that morning and hadn't eaten anything on the train, so he felt fairly famished. Matthew watched him carefully, sitting opposite in a café close to the station, contemplating what he had just heard.

"And what are the subsequent consequences of those events?" he asked curiously.

"Well, Syb spoke to Gwen on Tuesday…she was very remorseful and embarrassed…" the corners of his mouth twitched with amusement "…apparently, she's never going to drink again, but I'll believe that when I see it…they're going to the cinema tonight and then Gwen's staying over at ours, so I expect they'll analyse it all in detail."

"And your brother?"

"Still pretty pissed off…I mean, he's admitted that Rhian wasn't exactly the love of his life, but he's still very angry with Gwen…he doesn't believe that she was jealous, just vindictive…I don't think she is, but she's so mixed up, I'm not sure what's going on in her head."

"So, you don't think there's any chance of reconciliation, then?"

"What, with Rhian or with Gwen?…. neither to be honest…he'll lick his wounds for a while and move on to the next one, I expect."

"And Edie?"

Tom sighed and took another bite while he considered his answer "She's emailed Charlie a couple of photos, but she's said that she won't even think about meeting up until after Aiden's birthday…she told me that she wants to have his first year all to herself before it gets complicated."

"So he definitely wants to be involved in the long term, or do you just think he wants to meet him out of curiosity?"

Tom gave a half-hearted shrug and sat back in his chair, slowly wiping his mouth with a serviette. "He's saying all the right things at the moment…promising financial support, which could be the only good thing about it…says he wants to be part of his life…so who knows? I don't trust him because of what happened before, but I accept that people can change and deserve a second chance."

"How well did you know him before?" Matthew asked

"Not very well at all, to be honest…it would make it easier if I had. He was a friend of a teammate and joined the squad, but I only ever made small talk with him in the pub…never went out with him in a smaller group. But he and Edie just hit it off the first time they met…I did go out with the two of them for a drink once or twice, but I never really spent much time with him and obviously his reaction to the pregnancy didn't exactly endear him to me."

"Well understandably" his friend agreed.

"So we'll have to see what happens…God, I wish we'd never gone to that exhibition…if I could turn back the clock and have avoided seeing him…"

"We all wish such things from time to time" sighed Matthew with reflection. "Come on…we'd better get a move on if we're going to get to the match in time."

* * *

"So we said that the man with the winning team buys drinks…" Matthew reminded him later as they entered a city centre pub, after making their way from the ground.

"And it was a draw, so I guess we're going dutch!" smiled Tom

"Although Liverpool did have a goal disallowed, so you could say…"

"…no way!" interrupted Tom laughing "…null and void…if anything, I have more reason to drown my sorrows."

"It was clearly offside" Matthew declared, pulling out his wallet and nodding at the barman "but I'll get the first one."

"It's a fantastic stadium" Tom admitted as they sat down with their drinks "whatever you think about the financial input they've received, it's a ground for the future."

"My Dad used to take me to Maine Road…" Matthew recalled fondly "…in the days when City were the minnows to United's big fish…it's not the same atmosphere any more, but I have to say that it's great to see them finally winning things nowadays."

"Whereas Liverpool's glory days are most definitely behind them" Tom made a rueful face "Dad brought Kieran and me over to see them a couple of times…it was a big adventure, boarding the ferry early on Saturday morning. Dad had a cousin in Kirby so we'd stay there overnight and come back on the Sunday…we were the envy of our friends on the Monday morning…in those days all the kids in Dublin were Liverpool mad, but when I go home now, they're all running around in Chelsea or United kits."

"So, have you converted Sybil to the beautiful game yet?"

Tom shook his head "She occasionally attempts to show some interest, but mostly she finds something else to do when it's on..." he started to laugh "and there I was, thinking that a Sky Sports subscription was a beautiful moving in present for her…"

"Well I don't suppose Robert showed much interest while they were growing up…cricket is more his game."

Tom tipped his head to one side and grinned "Which unsurprisingly, didn't form part of my Irish childhood…although I don't mind it at all, I've followed it a bit since I've been over here. I did suggest to Syb that we go and see a one day game, but she didn't seem very enthusiastic."

"She's not really much of a sports fan at all then?"

"She loves her tennis…I moved in just after Wimbledon last year, which was pretty good timing…as far as I could see, she didn't leave her sofa after work for the two weeks it was on."

"Does she think Murray might finally do it this year?"

"She's an eternal optimist." laughed Tom

"Well, you know if you ever want a companion to watch a game of cricket, I'd be happy to oblige…I love the game." Matthew offered tentatively and was rewarded with a broad smile of gratitude from his friend.

"I'll take you up on that, Matt. Perhaps I can return your hospitality and we'll go to Lords or the Oval over the summer."

They chatted amicably over a couple of drinks, before agreeing a mutual requirement to line their stomachs with food before the evening progressed and the beer flowed too greatly. Sitting in another pub, their meals ordered, Matthew cleared his throat awkwardly and brought up the subject Tom had decided not to be the first to raise.

"So, are you aware that I went out for dinner with Mary on Thursday?"

Tom nodded "I knew you were going to, yes…but I don't know anything more…I think Sybil was planning to speak to Mary today."

Matthew sat holding his drink and swirled it around while he recalled the evening in question. Tom watched him patiently, allowing him the opportunity to offer additional information at his own pace.

"It's over…" he finally declared and glanced awkwardly at his friend. "…my decision."

"I'm sorry to hear that…" Tom replied truthfully. "…but you obviously have your reasons."

Matthew nodded and hesitated again "I've met someone else, you see."

Tom's eyebrows shot up in surprise "Oh…ok…I wasn't expecting that…well, congratulations, I guess…who's the lucky lady?"

"Her name's Lavinia...she works in the same building as me."

"Right, is she a lawyer too?"

"No, an accountant actually…we're on the second floor, they're on the first…we had this Christmas drinks thing for everyone in the building and we met there."

"OK, so not long ago then?"

"No, not at all…we didn't even go out until the New Year…we just got on extremely well at the party…I mean, I'd seen her in the hallway, she's very pretty so she was difficult to miss, but then we chatted and I guess flirted with each other…then I thought about her quite a lot over Christmas, so I decided to bite the bullet and ask her out when we got back to work in the New Year."

"So, less than three weeks ago?" Tom sounded a little doubtful and Matthew responded in earnest.

"Yes…I'm not declaring that I'm passionately in love or anything like that, but we've been out four…no actually five times since then and we get on extremely well…I like her a lot and when Mary decided that we needed to make a final decision about our relationship, it seemed the right time to draw a line in the sand and move on."

"And you're quite sure that…" Tom hesitated before continuing "look, I don't want to sound impertinent because I haven't met this girl and I'm sure she's lovely…but you know, you're not just on the rebound?"

Matthew raised an eyebrow "Have you been talking to my mother?" he asked drily "She's convinced I'm just reacting against Mary and that we still have issues that can be resolved…all of which I find quite ironic as she was far from her biggest fan."

Tom smiled and shook his head "It's only that I've never heard you say that you've stopped loving Mary…you've talked about the reasons why you moved out…I understand that you were hurt that she turned you down and I realise that it made you evaluate other things…but it's hard to move on if you still love someone else."

Staring at the table before him, Matthew picked up a beer mat and began to flick at it with his left index finger.

"I'll always love Mary, I think…" he finally admitted with a shrug, still avoiding Tom's gaze. "I can't tell you exactly why…I don't suppose anybody can really put their finger on what it is about somebody that makes you love them…could you pinpoint why you love Sybil?" He turned finally and Tom smiled partly in order to offer reassurance, but also simply at the thought of her.

"Well I could list certain qualities, such as beauty, intelligence, empathy, humour…but you could probably apply those to Sybil yourself and yet you're not in love with her…at least I bloody well hope not!" he joked "…so no, you're right, it's not something you can quantify, it's just a personal emotion…but it's the most powerful one on earth, so it's not to be sniffed at and it can't be pushed away, just because your head would prefer it to relate elsewhere."

Matthew paused and nodded, looking again into his pint. "But I think I am quite good at compartmentalising things in my head…it's the lawyer in me…and I believe that I can push something into a little drawer and file it away…it won't ever be forgotten, but the thought of it will fade." Tom shook his head, but Matthew pressed on, eager to emphasise his point of view. "I mean, four months ago, if someone had told me that I would split up with Mary, I would have said that I'd be heartbroken…and for a little while, I was…but now I'm not…I went from that state of mind to very sad, then quite sad and now just a little bit sad that it didn't work out, but the more time I spend with Lavinia, the less I think about it and I really do believe that a relationship with someone else, if of course it works out, will just decrease my feelings for Mary to a fond and pleasant memory."

He looked at Tom and gave a contrite smile "You're not convinced, are you?"

"No…but you have to do what you think is best…I'm not inside your head."

"I guess what I'm saying is that I need to fall in love with someone else and I feel that it's possible that it could happen with Lavinia…she's a really lovely woman and we have lots in common and I think that maybe…just maybe, I could be very content with her."

"Content?" asked Tom incredulously "Is that all you're aiming for?"

"I realise it doesn't sound very romantic, but you know, contentment is a very undervalued condition, in my opinion. It's a much more realistic long term state…you can't stay passionately in love for a lifetime, you know Tom…I'm sure you think that you and Sybil will be, but if you look at Robert and Cora for example, or indeed my own parents until my father passed away…"

"…yes, I know Matthew, I'm not completely naïve…" In frustration, Tom's voice was more abrupt than he had intended "…my parents were happily married for 25 years before my Dad died, they weren't skipping down the road hand-in-hand every day, but they were once…maybe not literally, but you know what I mean….all I'm saying is that I find it quite a sad concept to start a marriage with only contentment…"

"Hey!" Matthew raised his hands in defence and offered a goofy grin in an attempt to lighten the increasingly tense atmosphere "this is a hypothetical conversation here…I'm not actually talking about marrying anyone at the moment!"

Tom smiled and relaxed his shoulders a little "I know…" he nodded "…I just think that you need more than that at the beginning…you need that passion, as well as the confidence that you've got a solid base of friendship, compatibility and contentment as time goes on….you need that sensation that you…" he clenched his fist and patted his chest for added effect "can't breathe without that person beside you in life….that you simply can't live without them!"

"But that's the thing, Tom" Matthew tipped his head to one side and shrugged "I had that with Mary once and it didn't make me entirely happy…and I've discovered that with a bit of effort and absence, it fades…so what's the point?" He looked into his almost empty glass once again and muttered "What's the bloody point?" before lifting it up and draining the remaining contents.

"Right…another!" he declared and made his way to the bar before Tom could either assent or decline.

* * *

Later that evening, Tom lay on the sofa bed in Matthew's living room and tried futilely to decipher if there were one or two lamps on top of the small bookcase in the corner. He'd drunk far more than he had intended and didn't relish the thought of a train journey with a headache in the morning. He reflected briefly on their earlier conversation, which had been later deferred as they had resumed less controversial subjects and thought sentimentally of Sybil. He reached down and picked up his phone, not really considering how late it was and rang her number. Her tone of anxiety when she answered led to a slurred and apologetic greeting.

"I just wanted to talk to you before I go to sleep…sorry, did I wake you up?"

"It's OK" she replied smiling "I hadn't been in bed long…you had a good time then, I gather?...you sound a bit pissed…I saw that it was a draw, so no disputes then?"

"No, it's been really good…it wasn't a wild night out, but we started drinking too early and stopped too late, so I'm going to suffer in the morning."

"Did he talk about what happened with Mary?"

"Yes…I presume you spoke to her?"

"I did" she sighed with regret "It's so sad…."

"I know."

"Did you meet her?"

"Who?" Tom's brain was racing to catch up with the conversation.

"The other woman, of course!" Sybil replied with impatience.

"No, no…he told me about her though."

"Does he seem really keen on her?"

Tom scratched his head and wrinkled his nose "Sort of…" he admitted "…but he definitely still cares about Mary…I think he's just made a decision with his head, rather than with his heart…is Mary OK?"

"She's upset…well, she says she is, but you couldn't tell from her voice…you know what she's like…it was as if she was reciting the minutes from a meeting…he said this, I said that, he responded with such and such, and so that's that…"

"She's so odd" Tom voiced his train of thought aloud.

"Watch it…" warned Sybil, feeling immediately defensive towards her sister.

"Sorry…but she is…why doesn't she try and fight for him…I wouldn't let you go without a struggle."

"I wouldn't go anywhere" she replied softly.

"No" he agreed "but then, I am quite irresistible…" He was sure he could hear her grinning down the phone before she replied.

"I'm not going to comment on that…your ego doesn't need any further inflation."

"How was your evening, anyway…Gwen ok?"

"The film was good…you'd have enjoyed it…yes, she's fine…still very apologetic and regretful of what happened last weekend."

"Did she drink?"

"She managed a cheeky half in the cinema bar afterwards…" Tom chuckled in response before she continued "…and one glass of wine back here, but she's quite subdued, compared to our normal Gwen."

"Serves her right" Tom muttered but without malice. He was fond of Gwen and didn't want to fall out with her, despite her shabby treatment of his brother. Although he had responded protectively about the situation at the time and continued to feel disappointed by her behaviour, he was under no illusions that Kieran had been blameless in past relationships.

"She said that she wishes she'd had the courage to tell him how she felt while sober and at an earlier point."

"Yes, well I think we all wish that…either that or just left him alone."

"She's really, really keen on him, Tom,"

He sighed "Well I think it might be a bit late now, Syb."

"Well, she's decided to go and see him at some point and apologise face to face."

"Oh…" Tom started shaking his head, remembering Kieran's negatively fervent response to her name earlier in the week "…I don't think that's a very good idea at the moment."

"I think she's going to give him a bit longer to calm down first…but she says that she feels that she ought to and then she can just draw a line under it and move on."

"I'll warn him then."

"Don't!" Sybil beseeched earnestly "You told me not to interfere before and now I'm asking you the same…let's just see what his reaction is…if you tell him beforehand, he'll decide in advance what he wants to say, so let him just react instinctively to whatever she tells him…it might be another full scale row and they might never speak to one another again, but at least he'll say what he thinks and not what he believes he ought to."

"I'm too tired and tipsy to argue with you…anyway I'm putty in your hands when you get all forthright and authoritative."

Sybil giggled "Go to sleep then and come home so I can be more authoritative with you tomorrow."

"That sounds good…" he smiled and gave a contented sigh "I love you Syb…I'm so glad that it doesn't get all complicated with us…you know, like Mary and Matthew or Gwen and Kieran...you'd just tell me if there was a problem, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would…I love you very much, Tom…now go to sleep!"

* * *

The following Saturday afternoon, Tom and Sybil, together with Kieran and Edie's close friend, Daisy all sat together in Edie's living room in celebration of Aiden's first birthday. It had fallen a day previously when they were all out at work, but Edie had correctly surmised that he would be oblivious to most of the festivities and that the exact date was therefore fairly irrelevant. Tom's laptop had been secured upon a nearby chair so that Elaine and Fiona could view the proceedings on Skype. Edie enthusiastically opened the large pile of presents while her son squawked with excitement over the coloured paper and boxes in which they were packed. Tom and Sybil had bought him a trike, its long handle at the back meant that Edie would be able to easily push him up to the common long before his little legs could fathom the complication of pedals. His other indulgent uncle had appropriately purchased his first toy garage, while his grandmother had ordered a little rocking horse to be sent to the flat. After all admiring Edie's attempt at an elephant cake "What do you mean, it looks like a horse…that's a TRUNK, Daisy…look!", they sang the obligatory Happy Birthday and waved goodbye to their relatives in Dublin before starting to tidy away."

Kieran returned from the kitchen with a recycling bag and peered behind the television set in the corner of the room.

"What's that parcel here, Edie…it says Master Aiden Branson…" he squinted and leant further towards it "…care of Edie Branson…"

"It's from Charlie" Edie said abruptly.

"Christ…you haven't given him your address, have you?" he asked with concern.

"Of course not…I'm not stupid…he sent it to my office." She sighed "I don't know whether to open it or not."

Kieran leant forward and picked it up, giving it a curious shake and put his ear against the box. "Come on...you may as well see what he's bought…you can always take it down to the charity shop."

Everyone, with the exception of an over excited Aiden, remained silent as Edie removed the brown paper and lifted out the package. Tom picked up the box and drew out an envelope which had lain underneath.

"This has got your name on it, Edie" he said dubiously as he handed it across to his sister. Aiden made a lunge at the wrapping paper, lightening the atmosphere as he grabbed it in his fist and tore a hole. As Edie helped him tear further, she pulled out a selection of colourful, soft books, as well as two attractive looking wooden shape puzzles. Nodding uncertainly, she glanced up at her guests.

"I was expecting something flashy…" she admitted with evident reluctance "…I thought he'd make some big gesture to try and make up for the last year."

"These are really lovely" Sybil offered tentatively, picking up one of the books and turning it over in her hands. "I think he's really made an effort to send something thoughtful…that he might actually get use of."

Edie sighed "You're right…it's quite annoying really…I want to hate him and he's not letting me."

"Plenty of time yet…" added Tom sarcastically, rolling his eyes "…but I agree that I'm surprised at how understated this all is…and no big card saying 'Love from Daddy' either."

Edie tore open the envelope, lifting out a piece of paper and unfolding it slowly. Giving a small gasp, she flushed and muttered "He's sent me a cheque for five hundred pounds."

"He's trying to buy you off" growled Kieran protectively, but Edie shook her head and read out the enclosed note.

"_This by no means makes up for my lack of contribution over the last year, but I hope you will put it towards whatever you or Aiden need, or simply save it for him to use when he's older. Perhaps when we meet, we can talk about an appropriate monthly sum for the future. I hope you all have a wonderful celebration and look forward to meeting my son very soon. All the very best – Charlie."_

There was an awkward silence as the guests considered the message and found themselves unable to find criticism with the apparent sentiment it offered.

Sybil caught Edie's eye and took in her sense of turmoil "Are you going to meet up with him then?" she asked gently and Edie responded with a rueful grimace.

"I don't think I've got much choice really, have I?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Bearing in mind that this is a Downton Abbey site, I am very grateful that you've stuck with me (at least I hope you all have?!) as I have indulged myself with the storyline of two very minor characters and that several of you have mentioned how much you are rooting for them. It's time for their tale to reach a conclusion now – enjoy! (and there's some Sybil/Tom at the end of the chapter, do not fear!)_

* * *

Kieran heard the sound of female footsteps as he lay under the chassis of the Ford Focus and before long spotted a pair of scarlet pumps standing to one side of the vehicle.

"If you'd like to go into the office" he called lightly "Jackie will take care of you."

"I don't want to speak to Jackie" came an unmistakable voice "I've come to see you."

He gave a deep sigh and pushed himself out, looking up at a clearly apprehensive Gwen, who offered a hesitant smile. Rising to a seated position, he scowled and muttered

"What do you want?"

Gwen took a deep breath "I come with two things…firstly a heartfelt apology…" she lifted up a brown paper bag and attempted to appear jovial "…and secondly, lunch!"

"Well you're about two weeks too late with the first…" he responded with a surly glare "…and I've got my own lunch in the fridge here."

Gwen fleetingly appeared a little vulnerable before drawing back her shoulders and continuing in a more sombre tone.

"Yes, well, I thought you probably wouldn't want to talk to me for a while."

"You're right…" he conceded "…and I still don't want to talk to you."

Gwen ignored this sentiment and opened up the bag, peering inside "I've brought your favourites…a BLT…ham and mustard crisps…and a homemade scotch egg!"

Kieran looked at her incredulously "You've made me a scotch egg?" he asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. Gwen looked momentarily confused and then gave a brief giggle.

"No of course not…it's homemade at the deli up the road."

"Thank God for that…I thought for a moment that you'd had a complete personality transplant." The corners of his mouth twitched briefly and Gwen watched him with caution.

"'Fraid not" she admitted and offered a brief smile. "Look, Kieran…I do really want to apologise properly and if you just come and let me do that, you need never speak to me again if you want….just a few minutes?" she looked at him pleadingly and he sighed with resignation.

"Give me five minutes to get out of these overalls and wash my hands."

When he returned, he looked outside of the garage and grimaced "Are we really having a picnic in February?"

"Where's your sense of adventure?" asked Gwen "Come on…it's not that bad out there today…where shall we go, up to the common?"

Kieran shook his head "It takes ten minutes each way and you said I only had to stay for a few minutes…there's a kids' playground a couple of streets away…I take Aiden there sometimes…we can sit on the bench."

As they sat down next to the deserted swings and slide, Gwen lifted out a sandwich for herself and handed him the bag.

"Thanks" he acknowledged with obvious reluctance and began to eat.

"Well?" he asked a minute or so later "I'm listening…."

Gwen cleared her throat and felt her cheeks starting to flush, but turned to look at him earnestly.

"I am so…so sorry…" he nodded and waited for her to continue "I was completely out of order and I should never, ever have come round that night."

It was apparent that Kieran had no intention to making the situation less uncomfortable for her and she carried on, trying to stop her eyes from wandering elsewhere with embarrassment. "I was a jealous idiot and shouldn't have ever put you or Rhian, never mind Sybil and Tom in such an awful situation."

"Correct." Kieran nodded with an element of satisfaction, aware that he was rather enjoying her obvious discomfort.

"Have you been able to sort things out with Rhian?" she asked awkwardly.

"She doesn't want anything more to do with me."

"I'm sorry." Gwen looked at the ground, her prepared speech now faltering. "Did you really like her?"

"I was trying to." he replied truthfully "Did you know that she called Sybil a bitch?"

"Yes, she told me last week…it wasn't very fair, but I understand that she was upset."

"It was completely out of order…Sybil went out of her way to be friendly."

"Yes, well she would…she always does."

"Mmmmm…" Kieran paused momentarily "So, you've said that you're sorry but are you going to explain to me why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Gwen blushing faintly and avoiding his gaze.

"Because you didn't want me, but you didn't want anyone else to have me either?" he suggested.

"No."

"That's how it looked to me."

"I was just jealous…I wished it was me there with you that night."

"It could have been, Gwen…you were the one who walked away and avoided me."

"I know" she sighed with genuine regret.

"You don't know what you want, that's your problem."

"I think I do now, but I realise that it's too late."

Kieran didn't respond but looked impassively at her as he munched on the remainder of his sandwich.

"You're not making this very easy for me, are you?" Gwen suggested and he gave a sardonic laugh.

"Well, what do you expect?! Anyway…I really don't know what you're trying to say."

"I'm just telling you that I really like you…and I'm sorry that I walked away…I wish I hadn't but I panicked."

"Why?" he asked with frustration "I didn't try and push you into anything."

"I know" she replied quietly

"In fact, I was absolutely delighted when you told me you wanted it all to be casual and non-committal…it sounded right up my street!" She smiled fleetingly before he continued.

"And I know you're under the impression that I moved down here partly because of you, but I'm being completely truthful when I say that I didn't…I first mentioned it to Tom before I even met you…you can ask him that."

Gwen nodded and Kieran persisted "I mean…I was happy to think that we might see a bit more of each other, but I still wasn't expecting it to be anything heavy…"

She sighed deeply and glanced briefly again in his direction. "I was unnerved by it all…" she admitted "…after that weekend at your new flat…I've never opened up like that to anyone before…well not to a man, anyway…not since…" she stopped suddenly and scratched her head in discomfort.

"Jack" Kieran offered and she nodded. "I'm nothing like him."

"I know."

"Then what made you think that…"

"I realised that I was falling for you big time" she interrupted, now avoiding any eye contact "and the last time I was head over heels for someone…well you know what happened."

He didn't answer, but looked straight ahead without any apparent emotion as she continued.

"And I felt…I mean, maybe I was wrong, so correct me if I was…but I felt that it had changed for you too after that weekend and suddenly I felt really claustrophobic and I…I just took the easy option and walked away."

There was silence for a moment before Kieran responded. "It had"

Gwen chewed anxiously on her lower lip "And now how do you feel?"

"I don't know" he sighed and rubbed his head in frustration "You know, I'm not a complicated man Gwen, I'm really not…I just want to enjoy myself, do my job, spend time with my family and friends…" he hesitated for a moment "…be with a nice girl."

"And I'm not a nice girl you mean?" she asked with sincerity, wanting to have some genuine reaction from him, regardless of its content.

"You're screwed up to be honest… I'm not saying that it's your fault, I mean that Jack sounds like a complete wanker, but I'm not sure I'm the right person to be able to deal with all your insecurities…"

Gwen nodded gravely as he carried on "…I've been a bit of a…well not a wanker I hope, but a bit of a jack-the-lad I suppose in the past, I guess, but I do have a heart in here" he patted his chest gently as he spoke "and I don't really want to set myself up for another episode in which you decide that you're claustrophobic or frightened or unsure or whatever other emotion you display…and decide to disappear again…I feel a bit vulnerable myself…" He waited for a moment and offered a weak smile "…and those aren't words that come out of my mouth on a regular basis."

With a resigned glance in his direction, Gwen sighed internally and nibbled one of her nails.

"I can understand that" she admitted finally "I could sit here and promise that I won't, but I'm not entirely sure myself and I haven't proved to be very reliable to date."

"I'm sorry" he replied truthfully and wondered if he would subsequently regret his decision.

Her head bobbed up and down as she considered his response, the content of which had not surprised her. She felt surprisingly emotional and took another half-hearted bite out of her sandwich in order to try to briefly divert her thoughts.

"I know I said that you needn't ever talk to me again after this" she added cautiously "but in reality, I do hope that we can be sort of friends."

"Isn't that what everyone says in these types of situations?" Kieran replied with a wry smile.

"Well, for Syb and Tom's sake as much as anything."

"Yes, I know."

"I don't want to make their lives more awkward than necessary…I mean, they're bound to get married sooner or later, I should think and you know…they'll have children and all that…we might both be godparents and I'd hate for us to be glaring at one another over the font."

He raised an eyebrow "You've certainly got it all planned out…your godparental role is pre-determined, is it?"

She nodded, smiling "I've already told Syb that I don't want to be a bridesmaid…I'm not standing up there next to clothes horse Mary and skinny minnie Edith, looking like a cart horse on show…"

"Stop it!" Kieran interrupted with frustration "Don't put yourself down like that, you're gorgeous." They both fell silent at his unexpected compliment and its implications.

"I mean, I've never met Edith…only Mary, but I'm sure you'd outshine them both" he muttered, avoiding her gaze.

"Thank you…that's very sweet, I wasn't fishing for compliments, I promise."

He nodded and gave her a brief smile before looking away again. Gwen recognised a potential moment of weakness and pressed on.

"Well, at least you don't find me completely hideous now…" she laughed "…I couldn't be friends with you if you did!"

Kieran suddenly leant forward on the bench and put his head in his hands "Aaaghhhh" he muttered, mostly to himself "I don't know what to do…" Looking up, he turned to her again.

"I don't fit in your world, Gwen"

"What's that supposed to mean, I wasn't aware that I live in a different one from you?"

"All your doctor friends…I'm a mechanic for God's sake."

"Now who's got an inferiority complex?" she replied, raising an eyebrow in jest "Honestly, you don't really think like that, do you?"

He shrugged "What will they all think of me when I can't keep up with their high-brow conversations?"

"Kieran…." Gwen spoke slowly, not wanting to display her internal frustration "I don't know what you think doctors talk about off duty, but your probable future sister-in-law is hoping to be one and you never seemed to have a problem talking to me…I can't think of one of my fellow students that wouldn't want to chat to you because of what you do for a living and if they did…well, I wouldn't want anything to do with them either!"

There was a further silence before Gwen dealt what she felt was her final hand.

"Look…the ball's in your court, Kieran…I'm not going to beg. It's cost me a lot of pride to come here today…" she paused as she observed him nodding in appreciation "…but I knew that I owed you an apology and I wanted to tell you how I feel." She took a final deep breath "I think we were great together with hindsight and I was stupid to walk away…I'd like to give it another go but I completely understand if you don't want that any more or don't feel that it's worth it."

He didn't reply, but peered again into the paper bag and reached in for the scotch egg. "Want some?" he offered, holding it out to her, but she shook her head. Taking a large bite, he glanced back at her and began to nod his head "Very nice…thank you."

"You're welcome. Homemade." she reminded him and her mouth twitched slightly.

"By someone else" he added solemnly.

"Well of course…you wouldn't want one that I'd made, I can assure you."

"Would you know how to make one?"

"Not really. Is this some kind of test?"

He shook his head and started smiling. "No…I'm biding my time and making you sweat."

"Hardly…in this weather."

"Yes it's bloody freezing out here, why couldn't you have taken me into the deli instead?" his tone was light and teasing and she felt tentatively hopeful.

"I didn't think we would have a proper conversation with other people around."

"So you thought that hypothermia might be a more suitable option?"

"Well at least we're talking."

He stood up suddenly and indicated with his head that she should do the same. As she looked at him questioningly, he unzipped his coat and gave an involuntary shiver as the cold air hit his torso.

"Now my brother would gallantly offer his coat in this situation, but I'm not as nice as him."

"Fair enough…I don't expect gallantry…I've already got a coat on."

"You can share it though…if you want." His hands were in the pockets and he pulled it open, taking a small step towards her. Gwen felt an overwhelming sensation of relief and delight as she finally understood his meaning and walked forward to meet him. He pulled the edges of the coat around her and squeezed tightly, while she happily wrapped her arms around his waist.

"OK?" she asked with caution, aware that her query had hidden depths. And her answer was satisfactorily provided with probably the sweetest kiss that she had ever known.

* * *

"I'm not sure that Kieran's going back into this with the greatest of confidence" smiled Tom as he read the text on his phone.

Sybil glanced at him questioningly, still glowing from the brief report she had received from Gwen about their reconciliation.

"What does he say then?"

Tom started chuckling as he read it out **"You probably already know but I'm back with Gwen. Dead man walking…"**

"Charming!" Sybil laughed "Oh I hope they work it out this time, I can't see them ever being lovey-dovey with each other, but they obviously have something worth holding on to. I've never known Gwen sound quite so pleased about being with someone as she was when she phoned earlier."

"You just want everyone to have a happy ending" teased Tom and smiled at her indulgently.

"Of course I do…now if we can just sort out Mary and Matthew."

"We?" asked Tom, an eyebrow raised "It seems that by staying out of Kieran and Gwen's love life, they worked it out quite nicely by themselves, so don't start trying to interfere in your sister's…I can't see any real hope for that one, anyway."

"Where there's life, there's hope!" Sybil declared "Now…are we going to book this holiday, or not?"

Tom reached to pick up his laptop from the floor and Sybil sat down beside him on the sofa. They had decided to indulge themselves with a week's break during the early summer, regardless of Sybil's response from medical school. The previous year, Tom had begun his new job in May and the limited annual leave he subsequently accumulated had been mostly covered by their few days in Dublin, Christmas, plus a couple of long weekends at Downton. He wanted them to take a proper holiday together before their funds became potentially more restricted later in the year. Although it was tempting to believe that they could lie happily on a beach all week, they both admitted that boredom was likely to set in and were trying to settle on somewhere that would offer additional sightseeing possibilities as well as guaranteed sunshine in the early part of the summer. After lengthy discussion, they had narrowed their choice to Crete and Rhodes.

"So when exactly are we looking at going?" Tom asked, reaching for his phone and looking at the calendar function.

"Well we have to avoid Mum and Dad's anniversary party" Sybil began and then gave a mock sigh of frustration as Tom's face made it clear the event had not registered in his brain. "25th May, Tom…I told you about it."

"Right!" he began to type into his handset "Silver wedding anniversary party"

"Not silver wedding, Tom…Mary's almost 28!"

He began to laugh "I'm just trying to imagine your Granny's face if your parents had got married with Mary toddling up the aisle after them…right, what's 30 years then?"

"Pearl" she replied, smiling.

"Did they not have a big party five years ago, then…" he looked momentarily sheepish "…sorry, I can tell from your expression that you've told me this before, haven't you?" She nodded with a raised eyebrow before he continued "…um, um…five years ago…you were 18, so…a-ha, your A levels!...See, I do remember!…they didn't have a big party because you were in the middle of your A levels."

"So we just went out for dinner" Sybil concluded.

"Right…OK then, so we're looking at June"

"We need to avoid the schools' half term, it'll be more expensive and I don't want to be away for Wimbledon, ideally."

Tom nodded his head "That narrows it down to the second or third week of June."

An hour and a half later, he waggled his finger in the air "Right…are you sure?" Sybil nodded and grinned. "Not going to change your mind?" She shook her head. "Don't want to look at yet another hotel and check that the pool isn't a better size, or the beach might be 20 metres closer?"

She stuck her tongue out at him "Don't want to see if you can shave another two pound fifty off the price?" she teased.

"Yeah, well you've always had money to burn…I'm careful." He gently squeezed her knee to show that he was speaking in jest and then rubbed his hands together. "Right…Crete here we come…click…done!"

Sybil wrapped her arms around his neck and leant in for a long celebratory kiss and he responded with as much enthusiasm as he could practically manage with a laptop balancing on his knees. As she pulled away smiling and rested her forehead on his, a thought concerning their earlier conversation crossed her mind.

"Did your parents get to their silver wedding anniversary?" she asked gently "Only you were 24 when he passed away?"

Tom sighed sadly and sat back into the sofa. "Just…but he was dying and we all knew it, so it wasn't much of a celebration."

"Did they mark it at all?"

He nodded "Yes, I flew over for the weekend and Mam did a little buffet…he wasn't up to going out and he was struggling to eat much by that stage. Everyone tried to be upbeat…it was awful really, lots of false jollity but all I could think about was that the next time I came back, it would be for his funeral and it was…about six weeks later."

Sybil curled her hand around his and he squeezed it tightly before shrugging.

"At least he had us all together for a weekend, I guess…I hope it was a comfort to him, I think it was for Mam." He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "I never talked to him about what was happening...how he felt…I felt so useless."

"You were there, that was the most important thing…no, no listen to me…you were his son, he had your Mum to talk to about that, he wouldn't have wanted to spend his last time with you just discussing his illness, he wanted to have some happy time with all of his children together and you came back so he could do that."

Tom smiled "You always see the best in me."

"There's lots of it to find" she replied and kissed him gently again.

"I'm looking forward to being married to you" he said earnestly, looking into her eyes.

"Then you'd better hurry up and ask me…"

Tom opened his mouth briefly, then paused, took a breath and closed it again.

"I think we need to know what's happening about medical school first, don't you?" he asked and Sybil nodded her assent.

"Yes, I was only teasing" she started to get up off the sofa and walk towards the kitchen, but hesitated in the doorway.

"I really thought you were about to ask me then, for a moment" she said and gave a little laugh.

Tom turned his head around so that he could watch her reaction to his reply.

"I was."


	11. Chapter 11

Tom was sitting up in bed, engrossed in his book when Sybil bounded enthusiastically into the bedroom, still wearing her coat. She leant over to kiss him briefly and then walked around to the opposite side. Grabbing her pillow and giving it a shake, she placed it beside the headboard and then sat against it, on top of the duvet, her arms firmly folded.

"Nice evening?" he asked with a smile "Have you had a couple of drinks, by any chance?"

Sybil grinned "Of course! On Mary's expense account!...I'm not drunk though!" she added a little defensively.

"I wasn't suggesting that you are…but you're very…" he paused and gave a brief smirk "…bouncy." She raised an eyebrow suggestively and he laughed, grabbing her hand and giving it a quick kiss.

"Come on…you want to tell me something, I can read you like a book at times. What did she have to say?"

"Well she asked if you'd like to come with me next month, when she's next down here."

"That would be very nice, but I don't think it's what you're desperate to tell me. Is there some big news?"

Sybil paused for a moment "Have you heard of someone called Richard Carlisle?"

Tom placed his book on the bedside cabinet and looked at her. "Yes, he's the Managing Director of the Barwell Group. That's who she's working for when she's down here, isn't it?"

"Yes. So have you met him, do you know what he's like?"

"I've seen him at one or two functions, but I've never actually met him personally, no. His reputation precedes him, though."

"In what way?"

"Not in a particularly good one to be honest, he's supposed to be fairly ruthless. But he's very successful at what he does. I mean in general, newspaper circulations have decreased considerably as you know, but some of his titles are going completely against the trend. However, I don't think he cares whose toes he treads on in order to achieve it. He's all about the end result…so why, what did Mary have to say about him?"

Sybil's eyes widened as she turned to look at him and her voice gave the impression of awe. "She's started to date him."

"What?!...Bloody hell…how did she manage that?!"

"Well he asked her, that's how! Why shouldn't he?" Sybil always felt the need to defend Mary against Tom, whose instinctive response towards her was often negative. Part of the problem, in her opinion, was that Mary was only ever complimentary about him indirectly and therefore Tom always believed that Sybil was enhancing a fairly bland comment into something more flattering for his benefit only. He was unfailingly courteous to her when they met, but when taken unaware, his involuntary reaction always appeared to be unfavourable.

"Well she's obviously made a very positive impression" he said politely, recognising the dangerous territory in which the conversation was heading. "And how does she find him? Not quite so ruthless, I presume."

"Well, I think Mary quite likes that whole power game, I mean she can be pretty ruthless when she wants to be, so maybe they're quite well matched." Tom nodded, still digesting the news as she continued "She said that he's charming actually, very interesting and knowledgeable and enjoyable to be around."

"So how long has it been going on?"

"Not long…they went out on one of the evenings she was down here last month and then he just so happened to have a meeting in Manchester a couple of weeks ago and it all started then, apparently he stayed up there all weekend!"

"What, stayed with Mary?!" Tom asked in astonishment.

"No, I don't think so…in a hotel I presume…actually she didn't say now I think about it…hmmm…" she pondered "I didn't get any really juicy details, so I don't know if they've…you know…I'll ask her on the phone."

"Well don't ask her on my account!" Tom looked momentarily horrified "I really don't want to know either way."

"Anyway, apparently they talked about you."

"Oh God…did they, why?"

"Because you're a journalist of course…apparently he was very complimentary about your writing."

"Well, that's good to hear."

Sybil paused and stared ahead in thought. "Of course, the timing isn't coincidental."

"What do you mean?"

"Matthew meets someone else, so Mary starts seeing somebody new almost immediately."

"Well, she has only recently started working with them, so in a way it is coincidental." He glanced at her curiously "Did she say something that suggested it might be more of a tactical decision?"

"Well I asked her directly."

"Of course…straight to the point." he smiled

"And she denied it…said exactly what you just suggested…that the timing was coincidental."

"Right"

"But!" she waved an index finger in the air.

"Ah, there's a but…" Tom was enjoying Sybil's exaggerated animation as she related the tale.

"Later on, when we were talking about something else, she happened to mention a fact I didn't know, which is that apparently, Mum and Dad have invited Matthew to their anniversary party."

"Oh good!" said Tom instinctively, then immediately altered his expression to match Sybil's "But oh…that could be a problem."

"Exactly! Because, guess what else?"

"Um…I don't know."

"They've invited him to bring a guest."

"Oh dear."

"So he's bound to bring that Lavinia woman, isn't he?"

Tom sighed "I'd imagine so…yes."

"So, I'm absolutely certain that on hearing the news, Mary decided that she had to bring someone new too."

"And Richard Carlisle had shown an interest…"

"Exactly."

Tom gave a loud and prolonged exhale and the two of them exchanged glances.

"Should we go in full body armour, do you think?" he asked weakly. "Honestly, I'm surprised that your parents have put Mary in this position."

"It's because Matthew is family, I think. Even though they'd never heard of him four years ago, Dad has said before that he's a member of the family now and that he doesn't want to lose touch. I mean, added to that, of course everyone loves him, perhaps he wouldn't feel as strongly if he wasn't such a genuinely nice person."

"Still…at your own anniversary party…I'm almost feeling a bit sorry for Mary."

Sybil narrowed her eyes slightly "I suppose it's got to happen at some point. When does it become acceptable? Six months? A year? Two years? It's already almost six months since they split up now, it'll be eight months by then. I'm sure it will be hard for them both, but if Matthew is going to stay involved with our family, then I suppose they will have to get used to being around one another."

"And seeing each other with someone else."

"Yes."

Tom put his arm around Sybil and drew her close to him, lightly kissing the top of her head.

"Despite them both still loving one another…it sounds like purgatory."

"I agree."

* * *

The following Saturday morning, Sybil was curled comfortably under the duvet, half dozing as the early spring sunshine squeezed through a crack between the curtains and rested on the strands of hair which escaped across her pillow. She could hear Tom moving about in the kitchen, the kettle switched on and the fridge door opening and closing. An unexpected thud roused her briefly, but recognising the squeak of the letterbox, she snuggled back contentedly. Moments later, Tom opened the bedroom door cautiously and whispered.

"Syb, are you awake?" Receiving a non-committal murmur, he continued "There's a letter here for you from St. George's Hospital."

Sybil froze momentarily and then pushed back the duvet from over her head, her eyes squinting in the bedroom's illumination.

"Oh God…" she muttered. Tom held out his hand, offering her the envelope, but she shook her head.

"I'm not ready" she pushed herself up in the bed and rubbed her face, then sighed "No…I need a cup of tea first, need to prepare myself." With another involuntary groan, she swung out her legs, still clutching the duvet to her chest and her feet began to move around the carpet in search of slippers.

"Could you pass me my dressing gown please?" she asked and Tom reached around the door to retrieve it, smiling.

"I still find it very amusing that you don't like walking around naked in the flat, considering everything else that you're quite happy to do…" he abruptly curtailed his train of thought on observing the expression on her face and realised that any attempt at humour in the next few minutes would be unappreciated.

"Right…I'll go and make you a cup of tea then" he offered and retreated swiftly. Sybil pulled on her robe, wrapped the belt around her waist and wandered tentatively to the bathroom. Her stomach was churning with anticipation and she sat on the toilet for longer than necessary in order to try and prepare herself for either potential outcome. Eventually, with a heavy sigh and silent prayer, she emerged and gave Tom a nervous smile as she entered the kitchen. He had left the envelope on the table and she held it tentatively in her hands, sitting slowly down and taking a couple of sips from her mug. He drew back the chair opposite and waited patiently.

"Right…here goes" she finally muttered and dug her fingernail under the seal. Her face was impassive as she pulled out the sheet of white paper, unfolded it and began to read. Tom had a nervous, but ultimately optimistic sensation and it didn't falter until she placed the letter down on the table and looked across at him.

"I didn't get in" she said flatly and looked away towards the window.

"What?" He was astonished; his ultimate confidence in her meant that he had not seriously considered such an outcome. She picked up the sheet again and glanced back at the lower paragraphs.

"…we would like to see further evidence of a commitment to study."

"But you've been doing these courses!" Tom responded defensively, grabbing the letter from her as if to try and disprove the message it contained.

"We would be happy to reconsider an application in two years' time…" he repeated "Well, it's not a complete no then!"

She shrugged and then stood up abruptly "It's as good as" she said quietly and began to move away from the table. Rising to his feet, Tom put an arm out towards her in an attempt to comfort, but she shook her head. "Not now" she muttered and walked out of the room. He heard the click of their bedroom door and turned once again to the letter in disbelief. Unable to deny her anything, he couldn't possibly comprehend how anyone could consider such a rejection. He re-read each sentence carefully, trying to extract hidden meaning or comprehension in the words and eventually threw it back on to the table in disgust.

"Idiots" he voiced loudly and pushed back his chair, its legs scraping unpleasantly on the tiled floor. Pacing around the room, he muttered audibly only to himself and eventually took out some frustration by grabbing a wooden spoon from the draining board and whacking it down hard on the table. His natural instinct was to offer reassurance and comfort to Sybil, however he understood her desire for solitude. For some time, he didn't know what to do with himself and stood brooding by a counter, holding his mug in two hands and staring out into the spring sunshine. After half an hour, he made Sybil a fresh cup of tea and knocked hesitantly on the bedroom door.

"I just want to be on my own for a bit, Tom" she said quietly in response. He pushed the door open, whispered an explanation for his presence and set down the mug on a bedside cabinet. She lay on the bed, her back towards him, however he could see her body tensing and a sodden handkerchief in her hand. Briefly, he stood feeling helpless, only able to observe her distress before he reluctantly withdrew and returned to the kitchen. He couldn't get properly dressed, because all of his clothes were in the bedroom, nor could he pop out to the newsagent as was his habitual Saturday morning custom, for he didn't want her to think that she had been abandoned. He half-heartedly flicked through the previous day's newspaper and scrolled through the TV channels, nothing grasping his attention for more than a minute or two before his thoughts returned to Sybil. The telephone rang, making him jump unexpectedly and he snatched it up, muttering a brusque "hello" into the receiver. When the caller introduced herself as Pauline Donaldson, he made no recollection and simply stayed silent and sulky, anticipating an unwelcome sales call.

"Piers and I were wondering if you and Sybil were free for Sunday lunch at Dorneywood in two weeks' time, Tom?" was the unexpected request and Tom's brain rapidly caught up as the Chancellor's wife continued her invitation. "Robert and Cora are coming down to stay for the weekend and we just thought that we hardly had an opportunity to speak to you both at New Year, so we would see if you were available."

"Yes…I think so…" he stammered with awkwardness "I'm so sorry…I didn't realise who you were at first, I was miles away."

An experienced hostess, Pauline attempted to disregard his embarrassment with kind sentiment and Tom began to scroll through his phone to see the date in question.

"I'm afraid that Sybil's out this morning…" he lied, not wanting to have to disturb her unhappiness for a purely social enquiry "…let me just look at the calendar in the kitchen, I'm pretty sure we're free…yes, that's fine, I'll say yes on her behalf and she'll contact you if there's a problem. But I don't think there will be, so we'll look forward to it, thank you."

Soon after writing the specific details on the back of a discarded envelope and closing the conversation, he became aware of movement behind him and looked up to see a dishevelled looking Sybil standing under the doorframe of the kitchen. Her eyes were red and puffy and she wore an uncharacteristic air of misery. Unable to tolerate her self-imposed solitude any longer, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. She offered another stifled sob, pressing her head into his chest and finally allowed him to offer comfort. They stood motionless for a couple of minutes, before she brought her handkerchief up to her nose and blew loudly.

"Thank you for the tea" she muttered and he kissed the top of her head.

"Would you like another?" he asked gently, receiving a silent nod in response. She sat at the table while he made it, pushing the letter to one side and putting her handkerchief in the pocket of her dressing gown.

Tom sat down opposite her and reached across to squeeze her hand.

"I'll support whatever you decide, you know that, don't you?" he asked and she gave a half-hearted smile. "But you don't have to make that decision today, or even soon…you can weigh it all up and we'll talk it through…don't think that everything's got to be concluded within the next week."

"I'll be thirty two" she replied softly and he looked at her quizzically, not comprehending.

"If I apply again in two years' time and get in, it means that I'll be thirty two before I become even a junior doctor…" she raised her hand to silence his response "…so thirty six at the earliest before I get to a higher level, probably well into my forties before I could realistically consider being a consultant." she swallowed and looked up at him.

"And you're seven years older than me." she continued.

"Well it doesn't matter how old I am, does it? I'm not the one doing it."

"When are we going to have children?" she asked and he finally understood her train of thought.

"I don't know…that would be up to you, it's not my body."

"Every day at work, I see women who have left it too late for one reason or another, usually just through circumstance, but are now struggling to have a baby."

"Plenty of people have babies in their late thirties and forties without any problems." he interrupted

"I don't want to be one of them…" she replied with conviction "…I really don't. Not in the line of work I'm in…I mean, I'm not ready to have one now, but I don't want to think that I've got twelve, thirteen years to go before I can realistically fit one in."

"Sybil…" he replied patiently "…today's news has only put you back two years. You were always going to be almost 30 before you qualified at the most junior level, I thought that this was what you wanted."

"Well maybe I didn't think it through enough. Perhaps I didn't foresee how I would feel if an obstacle was put in my way and let's face it, this might only be the first one."

He squeezed her hand sympathetically "I think it's too early to be making any big decisions. You've had a huge disappointment today and it's bound to make you look at things differently, but don't rule anything out now, let's just think about it over the coming weeks, hey?"

She nodded and gave a rueful smile "I've said before that I've had a charmed life, so I suppose I had to have a taste of failure at some point."

"You haven't failed…" he replied firmly, "…listen to me…you mustn't think like that. We all have to readjust our plans from time to time, that's the way life goes."

She shrugged "I got all my GCSEs and A levels, I passed everything at uni. I didn't always get the highest marks, but I did well enough…I passed my driving test first time…even Mary didn't manage that!"

She raised her eyebrows briefly and Tom smiled "I bet she was furious."

"Absolutely, but she passed the second time, she made sure of that." Sybil glanced out of the window and sighed "I do feel like everything has always worked out for me one way or another, I've been very lucky…" she turned her head to face him and smiled "…I mean, I've even met you young in life…my horrible dating experiences have been limited to Larry, so perhaps it's only fair that something doesn't go to plan for once."

"It's a hurdle Syb, not a barrier…we'll work it out."

"It needs to be a joint decision though, it affects us both…I'm starting to realise that I didn't take your viewpoint into consideration enough when I started this process." He shrugged in order to try to placate her and she stroked his hand gratefully.

Tom looked at her earnestly. "I told you that I'd support you in whatever you chose to do and nothing has changed in that respect…But yes, we'll thrash it all out and decide what's best for us…" he paused momentarily before continuing with a bashful glance "…us as a family, I guess?"

Sybil stood up, pushed back her chair and walked around the table to stand behind him. Leaning down over his shoulders, she laid her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on his cheek.

"Thank you."

He held the hands that now hung down in front of his chest and rubbed them tenderly in a silent response.

"So, how do you want to spend the rest of your day?" he enquired "Now that the beginning of it hasn't gone to plan?" Her answer was swift and surprising.

"I want to go out and get drunk."

* * *

In all honesty, Tom hadn't really believed her. He had seen her tipsy on several occasions; her vocabulary stuttering, footsteps swaying and infectious giggles prevalent at the end of an enjoyable evening. However, he had never previously been witness to such an attempt to drown her sorrows quite so forcefully. He suggested walking to the large pub on the common, imagining that they could turn her objective into a fairly pleasant expedition on such a sunny spring day. However, Sybil had no inclination to humour him and led him to a non-descript pub on the High Street, where, at his insistence, they ate something stodgy and comforting as she started her first pint in earnest. That in itself was remarkable, he hadn't ever seen her drink much beer before; maybe once or twice outside in the summer, but she was usually a wine or spirits type of girl who might only occasionally be swayed by a tempting cocktail. As the afternoon progressed, she downed a succession of drinks, trying to lighten her own mood with humorous anecdotes, the alcohol causing her to laugh more freely and deflect the enduring sense of disappointment. Deliberately drinking more slowly, he bought halves for himself and poured them into what remained of the previous pint.

"You wuss!" she taunted and he smiled, confident that he would be able to take care of any subsequent calamity that might arise from her deliberate state of intoxication. As the sun began to set outside and they watched weary shoppers returning home, she declared that she was too full of beer and would like a glass of wine instead.

"I'm not sure that's a very good idea, Syb…you know what they say...'wine after beer makes you feel queer'."

"OK, I'll get it myself" she retorted with defiance and he stood up quickly to prevent her. He had watched her wobble precariously back from the toilet a few minutes ago and was aware that they were under observation by the barman.

"One glass and then we're going home, you'll make yourself ill."

She shrugged nonchalantly and when she drank the wine as easily as if it was lemonade, he knew for certain that it was time to leave. Holding her elbow firmly, he guided her unsteadily home, still protesting that she was coherent and despite tripping inelegantly over the doorstep, she remained in good humour. An attempt to encourage her in switching to drinking water was rebuffed and he could only wait for the inevitable result as she cheerfully downed another glass of wine and then attempted to coax him into sharing a whiskey with her. Not wanting to appear entirely churlish, he nursed a small glass while he watched her mood slowly deteriorate, belligerently berating those who had denied her application and brooding over her future career. Any words of wisdom or comfort that he offered were seemingly disregarded and he sat resigned to her downward spiral of despair.

Just as he was considering hiding the whiskey bottle during a moment of distraction, she turned pale and put her hand over her mouth. He jumped up and half carried her to the bathroom, her unbalanced weight sending him crashing into the door frame and bruising his elbow. He nursed it awkwardly while the contents of her stomach spilled repeatedly into the toilet and leant forward to tenderly rub the small of her back as she heaved.

Through her tears of self-pity, he helped her up and gently led her to their bedroom. For once, any amorous thoughts were absent as he carefully assisted her to undress and she allowed him to help her into her pyjamas without complaint. Her body racked with sobs and slurred apologies as he lay down beside her and let his hand rest on her hip.

"Shhhh sweetheart, everything's going to be alright…I promise you that whatever happens, I'll be here for you and it will be OK."


	12. Chapter 12

"So how are you feeling now?" asked Edie sympathetically as they walked up to Clapham Common during the following weekend, Sybil pushing Aiden in his buggy.

Sybil gave a wry smile "What, physically or emotionally?...I didn't feel completely normal again until about Wednesday, I've never ever had a hangover like it!"

"You obviously didn't have as wild a university experience as me, then" replied Edie with a laugh.

"Maybe not, but I don't ever want to repeat it, I felt dreadful! I didn't leave the bed or sofa all day on Sunday and then everyone at work kept asking me if I was ill on Monday because I looked so pale and out of sorts. I don't know why I thought drinking myself into a stupor was going to help anything, it was an idiotic thing to do."

"Oh don't beat yourself up about it, Sybil. We've all done it at some point or another. More importantly is how you feel about everything now?"

There was a resigned sigh as Sybil contemplated the most appropriate response. "I feel very blue really…it's just thrown everything up in the air. I mean, I never took getting in for granted, but deep down I think I thought that I would."

"I think we all thought you would. And that you still can, if you want to."

"But now I'm having second thoughts, or rather some doubts about whether it's the right thing to do."

"Well you don't have to decide one way or another for a while, do you?"

"No…but I feel as if my life is on hold a bit while I decide. I'd like to make a decision one way or another; sooner rather than later."

"What does Tom think?"

"Well that's part of the problem…I don't really know. He just keeps telling me that it's my decision and that he'll support whatever I choose. But…well, I suppose part of me wants someone else to make the decision for me, or at least help me to make it."

Edie glanced across at her hesitantly "You can't expect him to decide how you should live your life."

"No, I know that, but I would like his input and understand how he feels about the prospect of me studying for so many years. I mean, when I first started thinking about all of this, I'd only just met him. I certainly wasn't planning my future with him; I was just enjoying the present. And unfortunately, I think I've just carried on thinking along the same lines, despite our lives having subsequently come together more permanently. So I've only ever considered what I want and what I think is best for me, rather than for the two of us."

"Well, then you need to sit down and both be honest with each other."

"I know…we will…I just haven't felt very talkative this week." She sighed again. "Anyway, enough about me…how are you feeling about today?"

Edie turned her head and made a face. "Absolutely terrified, to be honest. Thank you so much for coming with me, Sybil. I know you're not feeling on top form at the moment, so I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem, I'm happy to help."

"I just think that Tom or Kieran would be far too protective of me and wouldn't be able to keep out of the conversation."

"You're right." Sybil agreed. They crossed the road to the common and began their route across its diagonal path towards the large children's playground in the far corner. Charlie was meeting them there and would finally have an introduction to his son. Filled with apprehension, Edie had asked Sybil if she would accompany her and potentially act as a mediator if the situation became uncomfortable. It was now six weeks since Aiden's birthday and his mother had initially attempted to deflect repeated requests for this encounter. However, Charlie had been politely persistent and she eventually acknowledged that such a get-together was unavoidable.

"There he is" she muttered and Sybil looked across to see him standing awkwardly by the gate, his hands in pockets, trying to appear nonchalant. She put her palm comfortingly on Edie's back.

"OK?" she asked. Edie nodded, although some of the colour had drained from her face.

"It's so weird to see him again, though…God, Aiden does look quite a bit like him around his mouth and chin, doesn't he? I'd convinced myself that he's Branson through and through, but he's actually quite a mixture of us both."

"He looks very uncomfortable, standing there…" Sybil tipped her head to one side and her mouth twitched with amusement "…a man on his own, without a child…hovering by a children's playground...do you think he's getting worried looks from all the parents?"

Edie gave a nervous giggle "Oh I do hope so!" They looked at one another and smiled. Sybil nodded "Right…shall we put him out of his misery, then? Are you ready? Deep breaths? Let's go."

With an expression of overwhelming relief, Charlie spotted them walking towards him and raised an arm in greeting. As Sybil brought the buggy to a halt, his eyes darted between Edie and Aiden as he deliberated who he should firstly acknowledge.

"Edie…" he said with an obvious air of apprehension "…you look very well." He took a step forward as if he might attempt to kiss her, but on seeing no obvious intention to reciprocate, leant his weight back on the other foot and simply nodded and smiled.

"You too." Edie replied politely. There was an awkward silence before she continued "I think you met Sybil before…?" and they each responded with courteous smiles.

Edie waved her hand towards the buggy "Well, this is Aiden" she finally offered. Charlie needed no further encouragement and crouched down before him, gently taking one of Aiden's chubby little hands in his own.

"Well, hello little man…" he said with a tone of awe "…you're a gorgeous boy, aren't you?" He was rewarded by a huge smile from his son, together with a squawk of excitement, immediately improving the surrounding nervous atmosphere.

Aiden raised his arms aloft "Mumma! Mumma!" he squealed and Edie bent down to unbuckle the straps which restrained him.

"He's seen the swings" she offered as a translation and lifted him up. Charlie coughed nervously and opened his hands.

"Um, may I carry him?" he asked tentatively. "Will he mind?"

Edie shook her head. "He's used to different people from nursery, he'll be delighted, provided you put him straight on the swing."

Sybil hung back as Aiden was taken by his parents and watched them conduct a nervous charade of civility with one another. She sat on a nearby bench, offering a polite smile to a bored looking father who was scrolling through his phone and surveyed the over excited children who tore around the playground, shrieking and laughing.

After Aiden was settled and being gently pushed back and forth by his father, Charlie met Edie's eyes and looked abashed.

"I owe you a huge apology…" he began "…how I behaved…well, it was appalling."

Edie nodded with an air of defiance. "Yes, it was."

"You've done a wonderful job, he's clearly a very happy little boy."

"Yes" Edie had no intention of easing the situation for him and remained suspicious of his apparent regret.

"Um..well..." Charlie hesitated and flashed a big smile at Aiden who was looking up at him with curiosity. "I haven't got any real defence except that I was terrified."

"So was I." Edie replied evenly and he nodded.

"Yes, I bet. Well, what can I say…it's just that…well I didn't think…" he paused and scratched his head, before resuming a push of the swing. "Um…well, you know we'd been together for about five months and I wasn't wanting to settle down or anything."

"Neither was I"

"I think I thought that you did want to, I…um…thought…"

"…that I was trying to trap you."

"Yes." he nodded.

"You said that at the time. I told you I wasn't. I didn't want to be pregnant." she glanced awkwardly at Aiden. "I don't ever really want him to hear me say that."

"No, of course….I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't think we'd end up together in the long run…I didn't think we were soul mates or anything, just two people enjoying each other's company and all that…"

"And you think that I believed it was more than that?"

"I didn't know, to be honest. We hadn't ever had that kind of discussion, had we?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't in love with you, Charlie."

"Good." he nodded and then gave a wry smile "Well, I mean…that came out wrong, sorry…what I mean is, so we were both in the same position then?"

"Yes…both not in love and both having made a baby."

"And if I had been more supportive, what do you think we would have done?" she looked at him uncertainly, before he continued. "Moved in together? Tried to make a go of it?"

"I don't know…possibly."

"And we'd have ended up hating each other."

"Well you know, I managed that part regardless."

"When you told me, I just foresaw that situation…trapped in a relationship that I might not want to be in…tied down with a baby and its unhappy mother..." Edie frowned and he hurriedly explained "…unhappy with me, I mean."

"So you decided just to disappear instead."

"I'm not condoning what I did, I promise…I'm just trying to explain it."

Edie lowered her voice "You told me to get rid of him."

"That was a bloody awful thing to say, I know…it's no consolation, but it haunted me afterwards."

"And did you think I would?"

He looked momentarily surprised at the question. "Actually yes, I did….Or at least, that's what I told myself…to make myself feel better about it all." He took a deep breath. "Contrary to what you might believe, I didn't just push the entire thing out of my head…I have thought and wondered a lot about what happened, but every time I dwelt on it, I just tried to reassure myself by thinking that you had…well, you know…and that you were probably living a happy, carefree life again."

"You never thought to check? Because you know, all you needed to do was look me up on Facebook and you'd have seen a photo of me and Aiden."

He looked abashed and shook his head. "No…I purposely didn't look…in case I saw something that I didn't want to know, I guess."

"So what changed when you bumped into Tom? Apart from the embarrassment of being torn apart publicly by my brother, of course?"

Charlie's face softened and he looked down again at Aiden, his smile widening as they locked eyes and Aiden giggled.

"Suddenly, he was a real person…not a possible one, or an unlikely one…just a real, live boy with a name and everything and I…well, I can't explain it, but it all changed in that one minute or so."

"So what do you ultimately want, Charlie?" Edie's face hardened and she glanced over at Sybil who gave her a questioning look.

"To see him of course…be involved in his life…try to be a father figure to him."

"And how will you explain your absence in the first year of photographs?"

"Awkwardly, I would imagine. But hopefully we'll have enough of a bond by the time he asks that, so it won't be as important."

"And what are you looking at? Having him for the weekend? Because he's never had a night away from me…" she was feeling defensive now, her voice laced with mild aggression.

"Not now…no, God I live in a shared flat, Edie. And he doesn't know me yet. But maybe one day, when he's older and if I can ever afford to get my own place." he gave a sardonic laugh, which abruptly ended as he saw the pained expression on Edie's face.

"I'm not trying to take him away from you, Edie, if that's what you're thinking…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you." She blinked away tears and glanced away momentarily.

"I just want to get to know him for a while…" Charlie continued gently "…that doesn't have to be without you. I mean, it's up to you of course, but maybe we can just do a few things together over the next few months…all get to know one another again slowly. I do want to be a proper father to him, but it's all going to take time, I appreciate that. I'm not trying to rush things, I know I have to earn your trust and his too."

"I just worry that the novelty will wear off, Charlie….look he's getting fed up with this now, let's get him out and take him over to the slide…come on Aiden, arms up darling…there we are, let's go on the slide hey?"

"I'm in this for the long haul, Edie…I'm not going to bail out." Charlie tried to reassure as they walked alongside one another, but Edie shrugged her shoulders.

"You say that now."

"Look, I realise I'm going to be just playing at being Daddy for the time being…you've done and are doing all the hard work, now I'm just swanning in to take him to the park or the zoo or whatever, but I don't know how else to do it." She didn't reply so he pressed on.

"I'm not in position to have him to stay and you don't want that anyway, but I might be able to help you out from time to time…give you a break."

"I've got babysitters, thanks. Tom and Sybil are great and Kieran lives down here now too. I get plenty of breaks."

He exhaled loudly and held out his hands in a gesture of defeat. "Then I don't know what else to say…I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't…" her eyes flashed angrily at him and he sighed.

"All I can do is just try and prove to you that I want to do the right thing."

"And what about Charlotte, can I ask? Does she want to be involved as well?" Edie gave a dry laugh "I bet she was thrilled by the news!"

"Yes, well she wasn't, as you won't be surprised to hear…no I don't think Charlotte's going to be involved at all."

"Are you still seeing her?"

"No." He looked awkward and shuffled a shoe on the ground. "I'm not the type of man she thought I was."

"So she dumped you then?"

At that moment, Sybil appeared at their side, although didn't appear to have overheard any of the conversation. "Shall I get us some drinks from the café?" she asked brightly and mouthed 'OK?' at Edie with concern.

"Thanks, Sybil, that would be lovely…I'm fine, honestly…thank you."

As Sybil wandered away, Edie lifted Aiden onto a nearby grassy verge and held her fingers out for him to grasp as he took hesitant steps, wobbling precariously.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Anyway, I think Charlotte had a hard enough time with the news as it was, without finding out that it was with her ex-boyfriend's sister."

Edie shrugged "I hardly knew her…she came to Dublin a couple of times, that's all."

"I don't think she's ever completely got over Tom, to be honest…even if she might have been prepared to stay with me, then the thought of having to see him again on a regular basis…" he waved an arm towards Sybil's disappearing back "…I mean, he's obviously moved on now, so it would be very difficult for her."

"Aren't you upset about it?" Edie was curious at his acceptance of Charlotte's continuing affections towards another man.

"I'm not in love with her…she's a great girl and I'm sorry it's over, but…" he sighed "…I don't think I'm very good at relationships, to be honest."

Edie raised her eyebrows and gave him an irritated glare. "Well that doesn't bode very well for you and Aiden then, does it?"

"This is different. He's my son."

* * *

Edie and Sybil sipped their drinks side by side on the bench and the latter nodded towards the swings, where Charlie was once again pushing Aiden with goofy enthusiasm.

"They seem to be getting on well." she suggested with caution.

"Yeah well, Aiden will grin at anyone who'll play with him…we'll see."

"You still don't trust him, then?"

"Not entirely, no…so we'll see what happens. Thankfully Aiden'll be too young for a while yet, so if he disappears, he won't remember him. He's talking about telling his parents though, which makes it doubly complicated."

"Where do they live?"

"Lincolnshire…so I suppose he'll want to take him up there at some point in the future. For the time being, he just wants to tell them and they'll come down here and meet him."

"So he thinks they'll be happy about it, then?"

Edie nodded. "His brother's quite severely autistic, so he said that it's possible Aiden will be the only grandchild they'll ever have. I don't expect they'll be too happy with how he handled it…I only ever met them once, but they seemed really nice."

"Not the kind of people to encourage their son to abandon his pregnant girlfriend, then?"

Edie smiled. "I wouldn't have thought so, no."

"And money…has he talked about that yet?" Sybil asked awkwardly and Edie shook her head.

"I'm going to ask him for £200 a month, do you think that's too much?" she suddenly asked quickly and rubbed her forehead with discomfort.

Sybil opened her eyes wide. "I haven't got a clue…how much does he earn?"

Edie shrugged. "He works in the City, but he's not a trader or anything…I don't know, to be honest…not enough to get his own flat, but he seems to have quite a decent standard of living."

"So how did you come to that figure?" Sybil was curious.

"Because then I could drop one day a week at work, if they'd let me. I wouldn't have to pay for nursery on that day, so it would cover the shortfall. I don't need money for Aiden really, we do alright, he doesn't want for anything." She smiled "He has two very generous uncles as well, so there's nothing I need money specifically for…but if I could spend another day a week with him…"

"…it would be priceless." added Sybil and Edie smiled in agreement.

"I've got my name down at the housing association for a flat" she added and gave Sybil a brief glance.

"You don't have to do that…you can stay where you are, Tom's happy to keep paying…" she shrugged "…I mean, it's not as if he has to pay rent to me."

"I know, but it was only ever a temporary arrangement…I'm very grateful that I could stay in the same place, but I have to be independent eventually and you might need the money someday."

'Unlikely' Sybil thought, musing briefly about the trust fund she would inherit in eighteen months' time, but offering only a non-committal shrug in response.

"I mean, whether or not you go to medical school, you might decide to have a baby of your own at some point and you'll want somewhere bigger…anyway, it might be a while yet before they can allocate me somewhere, but I've set the wheels in motion."

Charlie lifted Aiden out of the swing and carried him over to where they were sitting. The little boy's face lit up at the sight of his mother and his arms reached out to her.

"Is he hungry?" Charlie asked with uncertainty "Or does he just want his Mummy? Only he was fretting a bit."

"Both probably" Edie replied, leaning down to reach her bag from the ground. "I've got a banana in here somewhere…hang on."

"Well, can I take you both to a café or something? Maybe we can have a bite to eat and talk a bit more?" Charlie suddenly looked at Sybil with unease and she raised her hands in the air.

"Don't worry about me; I'm happy to go home." She looked at Edie quizzically, who nodded at her.

"Thank you so much" she whispered, leaning forward to kiss Sybil goodbye.

"I didn't exactly do anything" she protested with a grin.

"You were there…that was all that mattered…thank you."

Lifting Edie's changing bag, Charlie nodded amicably at Sybil "See you again some time, I expect." He swung it over his shoulder and waited for Edie to strap Aiden into the buggy, before walking forward to open the gate out of the playground and waiting while she passed through.

Sybil turned around a minute later and observed them walk away; three figures providing an appearance of the family they had never been.

* * *

"Tom!...Tom Branson!" He span around in the hall at Westminster to see who was calling him. Stephen Price, a senior researcher in the shadow Treasury, waved his arm as he jogged slowly towards him and offered a friendly smile.

"Sorry…I just wanted to catch you, are you heading back to the office now?"

"Soon, just going to get a sandwich or something, I'm starving."

Stephen nodded "Good, me too actually, do you mind if I tag along?"

"Not at all" Tom smiled pleasantly. The two had spoken several times and he found him amiable enough.

"Are you going outside, or eating in here?" Stephen nodded towards a café in the corner of the hall and Tom shrugged.

"Can do…I don't mind really."

They stood in the short queue and chatted briefly about a minor incident in the Commons earlier that day until Tom ordered a baguette and a coffee.

"I'll get them, you grab a table." Stephen said firmly. Tom raised an eyebrow in surprise but offered his thanks before walking swiftly towards two recently unoccupied seats.

"You know, some of these guys are earning more than us." Stephen said with a laugh as he sat down, indicating his head towards the barista who had served them.

"Speak for yourself…" smiled Tom as he unwrapped his meal "…you're obviously in the wrong job!"

With a nod of affable agreement, Stephen sipped his coffee carefully and licked his lips.

"I might have one or two pieces you can use next week" he offered tentatively and Tom tipped his head with curiosity. It wasn't unusual for Labour to offer the more left wing newspapers some news prior to it becoming public knowledge and it would generally be provided verbally, rather than in writing.

"OK..should we chat nearer the time, then?" Tom asked and Stephen glanced around with a slight air of discomfort.

"Well, we're hoping that you might be able to help us in the meantime?"

"How?" Tom was puzzled and couldn't think what he could do to reciprocate.

Stephen's voice lowered slightly "I understand that you're having lunch at Dorneywood at the weekend?"

Tom gave an audible gasp "How the hell do you know that?"

"I've got my contacts." Stephen replied smiling, tapping his nose conspiratorially.

"Well it's not a professional engagement, I can assure you, it's purely personal."

"Two days before the budget…seems a bit odd?"

"It's become a regular arrangement since Piers has been Chancellor. My girlfriend's parents go way back with him and his wife…they go down for the weekend, he works for much of it, but they keep his wife company and it ensures that Piers gets a break on Saturday evening and part of Sunday afternoon…keeps him fresh for the big week ahead."

"But your father-in-law gets involved, right?"

"With the budget proposals? I sincerely doubt it…and he's not actually my father-in-law…not yet, anyway."

"Well nevertheless, you'll be there, so maybe you can throw us a few titbits on Monday morning?"

Tom looked at him sceptically. "Really? You think Piers is going to sit there and discuss it all with us over the roast lamb? For starters, it's supposed to be a lunch to get him thinking about other things and secondly, I'm a Guardian journalist for God's sake…of course he's not going to discuss it with me."

Stephen smiled and cocked his head to one side. "But I thought that maybe you might perhaps accidentally wander into his study on the way to the loo and see if you can find out anything?" Ignoring Tom's open mouthed astonishment at the suggestion, he pressed on "…just give us a 24 hour heads up on one or two things? As I said…we'll have something for you in return."

"No!" Tom almost spat out his reply with disgust, but Stephen's expression displayed no sense of indignation.

"Not just for the paper, but something for you personally."

For a couple of seconds, Tom was bewildered by the suggestion, but his face soon showed revulsion and he leant forward aggressively.

"Christ…you're bribing me now, are you?" he hissed "Jesus, I can't believe this…" and shook his head in incredulity.

"Now that's not a word we like to use, Tom…please don't suggest that…" Stephen replied, his face impassive. "If you don't want to help us, then we'll leave it at that."

"Well I don't."

"OK, but of course we might not be able to find anything suitable for you to use, going forward."

Tom gave an ironic laugh "No…because you wouldn't want any help from The Guardian, would you…who the fuck else is going to help Labour…yeah Stephen, take it to The Times, I'm sure they'd be delighted."

Rising to his feet while wiping his mouth with a paper napkin, Stephen cleared his throat. "If you change your mind, give me a shout."

Tom stood up to face him directly. "Do you have a moral bone in your body?" he asked and Stephen responded only with a smile of serenity. "These are friends and family…it's got nothing to do with politics at all."

"I'm sure Piers would be expecting it, he's long in the tooth, he knows how it all works."

"I don't care." snapped Tom "I find it repugnant that you would suggest I betray people who will be part of my family in the future…and friends of theirs, who have shown me nothing but kindness away from Westminster."

Stephen shrugged and picked up his coffee. "Your loss."

Reaching into his pocket, Tom pulled out his wallet and threw down a ten pound note onto the table "I won't take your money…keep the change." he muttered and strode firmly away.

Hands shaking with indignation, he didn't head directly to the tube station, but stomped around the green outside for a few moments, nodding to furtive smokers, pressed against the walls as he passed. He had heard rumours of such exchanges, but had naively assumed that he would be known to possess higher integrity. It made him sweat with embarrassment to imagine his name being brought up when the idea was first raised and he felt sick to imagine that Piers might genuinely be unsurprised by such deception.

Arriving back at the office later on, he immediately asked for a meeting with the Political Editor, Michael and within the privacy of his office, explained exactly what had taken place.

Michael listened carefully, nodding throughout and finally leant back in his chair, smiling.

"Your outrage does you credit, Tom" he said finally.

"Are you not outraged on my behalf?" Tom asked with disbelief. "Or have you seen all this before?"

"Many times, I'm afraid…they like to test everyone at some point."

"Should I not tell someone…someone higher up, I mean, or do you think they're all in on it?"

"I'm sure they all know it goes on…there's no point, Tom. You refused and that will be the end of it. They'll sulk for a little while and you'll find that you aren't offered the leads, but they'll move on to someone else, or forget about it entirely and life will go on as before. Don't waste your indignation; surely you know that politics is a dirty game?"

"That's why I'm not a politician, just a journalist."

Michael gave a dry laugh "Yes, because journalism has such a good reputation at the moment…listen, Tom…my professional advice is to ignore it and carry on regardless, but my personal advice is to tell Piers at the weekend and get things straight with him."

Tom nodded before Michael continued with a grin. "Only don't let my boss hear that, OK? Seriously, Tom…politics stinks at times, so make sure that your personal life is in order to balance it out. If you're intending to marry his goddaughter in the future, then you want Piers to know that he can trust you. They're right, he possibly does question your honesty deep down, so if I were you, I'd make it clear what was offered and assure him that you refused."

"Do you think he'll take it further?" Tom asked with a touch of anxiety, contemplating the potential consequences for his career, but Michael shook his head.

"He's a wise old bird, but I'm sure he'll value your honesty." As Tom rose to leave, Michael offered a reassuring smile.

"Congratulations, Tom…your first bribe makes you a true journalist now."

* * *

"You're very quiet today." Tom glanced at Sybil, who had insisted on driving to Dorneywood, but who had hardly uttered a word since they had left Clapham.

"I'm concentrating on the road" she replied solemnly. Tom rolled his eyes, knowing that she wouldn't be able to witness it. She wasn't usually so fastidious and he often had to remind her to keep looking straight ahead while they were casually chatting in the car. They still hadn't sat down and discussed her next step regarding medical school, so her future plans remained open-ended. He had suggested making a list during dinner on Friday night, citing the pros and cons of each choice available, but Sybil had declared that she wasn't in the mood and he hadn't pushed it. After all, it was her life and he understood that there was no easy path ahead.

Tom had expected more indignation from her over the suggested bribe, had been almost looking forward to an evening of self-righteous discussion and reiterated personal principles. However, Sybil had simply smiled at his moral outrage and offered a mild shrug in response. "I'm surprised that you're so naïve about how it all works, Tom." He felt a little disillusioned as a result, but she had agreed that informing Piers would be an appropriate conclusion.

Lunch was an enjoyable affair. As anticipated, Piers was working hard on his proposed budgetary speech and was ensconced in his study with two members of staff when they first arrived. It was left to Pauline, Cora and Robert to show the couple around the house and grounds, before they settled comfortably in the living room with drinks. Sybil had insisted on driving, so Tom gratefully accepted a gin and tonic and chatted amicably with Pauline about the changes they had made to the property since Piers had been in office and offered the opportunity to reside there.

Tom was placed next to one of the Treasury's scriptwriters around the lunch table, a sharp witted young woman whom he knew casually from press conferences. On his other side sat Robert and the three engaged in some good-humoured banter over the course of the meal. Sybil was between Piers and one of his junior ministers, an overly keen man in his early thirties, who appeared either unwilling or unable to switch off from work entirely and repeatedly spoke over her head in order to ask the Chancellor questions.

Three glasses of wine consumed, he could only suppose that his reactions were louder than usual, for he laughed at one of the scriptwriter's comments and became aware of Sybil glaring at him over the table. He made a mock solemn face, which usually drew a smile, but on this occasion it was unrewarded.

"You OK?" he mouthed and she nodded, turning abruptly to speak to Piers.

He managed to draw the Chancellor to one side after lunch and quietly advised him of what had taken place earlier in the week. Piers listened without interruption and subsequently patted Tom on the arm with an empathetic smile as he offered assurance that such unethical activities from him had never crossed his mind.

"I told you from the beginning that I didn't see you as a professional gold digger and my opinion has never altered. I appreciate you letting me know, though…I suppose you coming here today was just too good an opportunity for them to let pass. The invitation was of course to my goddaughter and her partner, your professional role is irrelevant, but I can see that others might not think that way."

"But how did they even know I was coming?" Tom asked " I haven't mentioned it to anyone."

Piers shrugged "It might even have been a wild guess, which was simply confirmed by your reaction. Robert and Cora's visit was no secret, they may have just put two and two together. Either that, or somebody has snooped in my diary, although I don't think your name was specifically in it. It doesn't really matter, you've shown your integrity and even if they make life difficult for you in the short run, it'll pay off as you go forward."

With regretful apologies, he then returned to his study, calling the team members to join him and offering an invitation for Robert to do likewise, while those remaining strolled outside in the garden. Sybil walked with Pauline, her head down and seemingly in deep discussion, so Tom fell alongside Cora, who linked arms with him and looked at him with concern.

"Is Sybil alright, do you think, Tom? I know she's had her pride quite severely knocked, but I don't like to see her so down in the dumps."

With a loud exhale, he turned and offered a weak smile. "I think she'll be OK, she just needs to weigh everything up in her head and decide where to go from here."

"Will she reapply, or try somewhere else maybe? It's not the only teaching hospital in London, although I appreciate it's the most convenient from Clapham. I did try to ask her on the phone during the week, but she practically bit my head off."

"Yes, I've had a bit of that too. Possibly…both of those are options that she's looking at. I just think she's reassessing everything at the moment."

Cora looked at him anxiously "But you two are OK? I mean, there's nothing else that I need to worry about?"

"Yeah, we're fine…at least I hope so!" he joked, then glanced at her more seriously. "I suppose this is our first real test. It's all been sunshine and roses up until this point, but life's not like that, is it?"

"Of course not, no."

"I'm taking her down to Brighton next weekend…a night away, think it will do us both good…some nice sea air and a bit of fun."

"That sounds like an excellent idea, Tom."

"And I'll try and get her to write some of her thoughts down on paper later this week, when the Budget's finished and I've got more time…I find that can help when you've got to make a big decision. We'll weigh up the advantages and disadvantages of each option and take it from there."

"She's lucky to have you." Cora said earnestly and fleetingly, he wondered if a contrasting opinion had been recently put forward.

He smiled in response and patted her hand. "Well, I consider myself very lucky to have her, I can assure you. I can't imagine life without her now, she enriches it in every way." He gave a light laugh, aware that the alcohol in his bloodstream was making him overly sentimental. "So I should thank you and Robert, really."

Cora turned suddenly and gave him a rather intense stare, narrowing her eyes as if trying to absorb his image and banish unwelcome thoughts.

"We'd be very sorry to lose you now, Tom." she said gently and his head gave an involuntary jerk backwards at the potential implication of her words.

"You won't." he replied as firmly as he could manage and offered a smile of reassurance. "She'll be OK…we both will."


	13. Chapter 13

Tom worked long hours during the following week, the Budget creating many additional pages of analysis to fill and meetings to attend. He left home a little later in the mornings, but wasn't home until after Sybil was in bed and greeted her only with a soft kiss on the cheek before unwinding in front of the TV for an hour or so. Sleep came easily and deeply, his dreams vivid and intense but instantly forgotten within seconds of waking. On the Thursday morning, he was roused by her alarm and attempted to persuade her to remain under the covers for a little longer, caressing her thigh and wrapping an arm around her chest as he nuzzled the back of her neck with thinly disguised desire.

"I can't be late, Tom…please let me get up." she muttered and untangled herself from his limbs before disappearing into the bathroom and returning only to pop her head around the bedroom door to whisper a hurried goodbye.

Satisfied with his contribution to the Saturday Budget supplement, most of which had been completed a day or two earlier, he was able to finish work at a reasonable time on Friday and rebuffed an offer to go to the pub with colleagues in order to hurry home. Finding the flat empty, he sent a text to enquire as to her whereabouts, only to receive a reply several minutes later, explaining that she had joined an impromptu staff outing to a pizzeria in order to celebrate a colleague's birthday. He felt instinctively indignant, but reminded himself of her recent vow to take part in more social occasions with friends from work and busied himself in the kitchen to make something to eat. Washed down with a couple of beers, he ate in the living room, watching a mediocre crime drama on TV until he heard her key in the lock, shortly after nine o'clock.

"Nice evening? It finished quite early then?" he asked cheerfully. Her smile of response seemed strained and she sat in a nearby armchair, squinting at the television and shaking her hair which was damp from the walk home from the station.

"Yes, it was nice. They've all gone on to a bar, but I decided to come home."

"Didn't fancy it?"

"Not really, no." She gave a brief sigh and pushed herself out from the chair. "I'm going to make a cup of tea, do you want anything?"

He shook his head and reached for the remote control to switch off the TV.

"Don't mind me…" she said quickly as she walked towards the kitchen "…carry on watching it."

"I was only filling in time until you came home, it's not particularly riveting...I've got a fair idea who did it." he replied, picking up his tray and following her. As she switched on the kettle and turned to pick a mug from the cupboard, he continued in a light hearted manner.

"Don't you want a glass of wine? There's a bottle chilling in the fridge."

She shook her head "No, thanks. I'm not really in the mood." He gave an involuntary sigh and she turned swiftly towards him.

"What are you sighing at?" she snapped and he opened his eyes wide with surprise.

"Nothing…don't bite my head off, Syb."

"I don't have to knock alcohol down my throat every night, you know Tom" she nodded towards his beer bottle and he felt his defences rising.

"That's not very fair…it's Friday night and I've had a very long week."

She didn't reply but turned her back towards him as she made her tea. Wanting an apology, he persisted with uncharacteristic belligerence.

"I've been sitting here on my own for the last three hours. I turned down an opportunity to go to the pub after work, because I wanted to spend the evening with you."

"Well, I told you…it's Sarah's birthday tomorrow and a few of them decided to go out for a pizza…you and I hadn't made any specific plans." She turned swiftly towards him and glared. "We don't have to be joined at the hip all of the time, you know Tom."

"Christ, you are so bloody moody at the moment, Syb…you know I don't think we need to be, but you could have told me earlier."

She gave a dramatic shrug of frustration. "Oh whatever…I'm going to drink this in bed, I'm tired."

"Hang on!" Tom raised his voice slightly and she narrowed her eyes, taunting him to take his antagonism further. Pausing, he took a deep breath and tipped his head to one side.

"Are we still going down to Brighton tomorrow?" he deliberately kept his voice calm, wanting her instinctive reaction to the question.

"I thought you'd already booked a hotel?"

"Well you don't seem very enthusiastic."

She sighed "What do you want me to say, Tom? I'm sorry, but I don't feel very enthusiastic about anything at the moment."

"Even me?"

There was, in his mind, a poignant silence before she rolled her eyes with frustration. "Don't be ridiculous…I'm sorry, but I haven't got the energy to play this game tonight."

"I'm not playing games, Syb…I'm asking you if you want to go away and have a nice weekend…try and put aside your disappointment for a bit and have some fun together…but if you want to be completely miserable, then I'll cancel the reservation and we'll just forget it."

Her shoulders tensed momentarily and she gazed at the floor, hands wrapped around her mug, biting her lower lip in deliberation. When she spoke, it was in a quieter tone, but one of wistful resignation.

"No, we should try and have a nice weekend together, before…" there was an abrupt conclusion and Tom felt his stomach twist with anxiety.

"Before what?" he asked as levelly as he could manage, trying to keep the sensation of foreboding at bay.

She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. "Nothing."

"You said 'before'…what did you mean, what's going to happen?"

"Nothing…" she replied in a firmer tone "…before I sort everything out, I guess…make a decision about what to do regarding medical school."

He continued gazing at her intently as she looked slowly around the room, eventually meeting his eyes and offering only silent defiance in return. Without the complete reassurance he had anticipated, he could only justify a silent nod in response.

"We'll get the train down there tomorrow morning then" she replied with forced brightness and turned swiftly to exit the room.

* * *

Screams of excitement erupted from the roller coaster on the Palace Pier while figures hovered by the water's edge beside it; skimming stones, or tentatively submerging an exposed toe or ankle before swiftly drawing it back. Brighton's visitors appeared to be divided into two groups; those who viewed the cool spring sunshine as an opportunity to undertake practice for the summer ahead, towels spread out on the stones and milky white limbs exposed; while Sybil and Tom joined the other, wrapped up warm against the wind's intermittently stark chill, regardless of the sunny outlook.

Ice creams consumed, they descended steps down to the beach and wandered along the lower promenade, avoiding enthusiastic skateboarders and unsupervised children on bikes and scooters. Tom looked wistfully at customers sitting outside one of the bars which nestled under the arches and took a hesitant glance at Sybil with her reserved demeanour.

"Fancy a drink?" he asked breezily and felt obliged to add "As we're sort of on holiday?"

"Not really" was her sullen reply, sending both his patience and anxiety to their peak.

"Right…let's sit on this bench and decide what we're going to do, then…I can't just aimlessly wander around all afternoon." He motioned nearby and she sat down, hands wrapped inside her jacket, staring broodily at the shore.

"Is there anything particular you fancy doing… the pier, sealife centre, go round the Laines…?" His questions were met with persistent ill humour, until the unrelenting feeling of unease it generated could no longer be internally quashed.

Taking a deep breath, he leant forward with his arms on his knees, turned his head to face her and asked the question which had been haunting him since the previous evening.

"Sybil…is there something else wrong…on top of not getting into medical school?"

Briefly their eyes met and he saw a fleeting flash of fear before she looked away, swallowed deeply and gave a cursory nod. His stomach lurched unpleasantly and he tasted bile at the back of his throat in anticipation.

He cleared his throat when she didn't respond further. "Well, are you going to tell me, then?"

Hunching her shoulders, he watched as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"I didn't want to say anything until I was sure." she replied in a soft pitch and his feeling of nausea heightened. Glancing up at the pier, he thought briefly that if she was about to end things, then he may as well walk straight up there and throw himself off the end, so deep was the despair it would generate. He thought back to the previous weekend and wondered if she had already confided in her mother; had perhaps confessed that rejection had made her evaluate her life as a whole and that it should continue along a different path without him.

He licked his lips anxiously and turned his head again so that she would be forced to look at him as she spoke. "You promised me…not that long ago in fact, that you would tell me if there was a problem, so could you please hand me the courtesy of doing so now." The clipped tones of his voice echoed in his head and he had a short-lived sensation that he may be about to faint.

"I think I might be pregnant." she whispered.

His relief was so intense that he momentarily considered jumping up and punching the air with liberation. Instead, his face broke into a reprieved smile, met only with Sybil's look of troubled confusion.

"Are you pleased?" she asked incredulously. Unable to offer an adequate reply, he shook his head, and then contradicted himself by nodding, before shrugging his shoulders with helplessness.

"I…I…well sort of…no…are you OK?…oh God!" his head sank into his hands before he muttered "I thought you were going to finish with me."

"What?!" she asked with bewilderment, reaching out and holding his arm. "Why would you think…." as he glanced up, she saw that his eyes were watery and a pink flush had overtaken his face. "Oh God…Tom, of course not!"

There was a cursory laugh, before he rubbed his eyes, breathed deeply, then sat up to look at her and the enormity of the issue she had raised.

"You think…you don't know for sure?" he asked gently and she shook her head.

"I'm four days late now…I'm usually pretty on time, never more than a day or so out."

"Well, you've been under a lot of stress recently" he offered as a suggestion before it was spurned.

"My breasts are sore and I've got a metallic type of taste in my mouth."

"Ah" he acknowledged, remembering Edie's similar symptoms almost two years ago. "Do you feel sick?"

"No, but it's a bit too early for that."

"Have you done a test?"

"Yes two, but they both said negative…it doesn't necessarily mean anything though, it's still very early."

"I thought they were pretty accurate nowadays?"

"Not entirely…why else would I have all these symptoms? I've never had them before." He shrugged and took her hand, not wholly convinced, but believing that her training must make her more of an expert on such issues.

"So…how, do you think?" He smiled at her raised eyebrows. "Well, obviously I know technically how…but you're on the pill and we've never had a problem previously."

An expression of guilt crossed her face. "I threw up, didn't I? After that afternoon in the pub. And then a couple of days later, we…well you know…it crossed my mind a few days afterwards and since then I've just been waiting."

Squeezing her hand gently he shook his head with an element of frustration. "Why didn't you tell me?...You shouldn't have been worrying about it on your own."

"I thought I'd know one way or another before this weekend, I was frustrated that we've had to come away without having a definitive answer."

"It explains your lack of alcohol consumption" he said, smiling fondly at her. With a shamefaced nod, she replied.

"I'm really sorry about last night, it was unfair of me…it's been one of your busiest weeks of the year, I should have come home and talked to you about all of this."

"Well I don't mind you going out with your friends from work, of course I don't…"

"…but I should have told you earlier that I'd decided to join them…" she interrupted swiftly "…rather than leave it for you to have to find out where I was."

"Ah well…" he shrugged, still overwhelmed by her news and struggling to balance it against his relief that their relationship wasn't floundering. "So….if there is a baby…" he looked anxiously at her "…what do you want to do? You said only a couple of weeks ago that you weren't ready."

"Oh I'll go ahead with it." Her response was assured and without hesitation, leaving him surprised. "I mean, I can't do the job that I do and not have it…watching all those women struggling to have babies."

"It should be your choice…" he ventured tentatively, his personal emotions tangled with a desire to present an objective opinion. She shook her head, but looked at him warily.

"I will have it...regardless of…I mean, I know it's not ideal for us, but even if you think that I shouldn't…I will."

Hurriedly, he clasped her hand with his other and raised it to his lips. "Sybil…I'm glad…honestly, I mean…no it's not ideal timing, but it has more of an impact on you than it does on me, so if you want to have it, then I'm delighted…I promise."

She glanced at him with an element of inhibition and gave his hand a sudden squeeze. "Are you ready to be a father?"

Tom felt his face break into an involuntary beam. "Well who's ever entirely prepared? It doesn't hold any great fear for me, I had plenty of practice with Aiden and I'm nearly thirty one; I think I'm ready." He chuckled "God, Mam'll be so cross…another one born on the wrong side of the blanket, or at least conceived that way…we'll have to talk about that, whether we should get married before or after, if it happens…but Syb, what does this mean for medical school? I don't want you to have to give up all your dreams and ambitions."

Sybil sighed softly and kicked her legs under the bench, staring out at the horizon and chewing on her lip in the way he found so endearing.

"I think it makes the decision for me really. I mean, I've been having doubts about whether I wanted to start the process in two years' time anyway and this would put it back further, not to mention how much harder it would be with a child in tow."

"We'd figure out a way, somehow" he said hastily, not wanting her to believe that her choices needed to be restricted entirely.

"I can't see me doing it if we have a baby…I think that will be enough for me to cope with. I mean, I'd still want to carry on working as a midwife, I love that and wouldn't want to stop completely, but not the hours that medical school entails...I'd hardly see the baby…or you."

"Well you wouldn't have seen much of me anyway." he said as an almost unconscious reflex and she twisted on the bench in order to look at him more intently.

"Was that bothering you?" she asked with genuine curiosity. He reflected on the words as his mind raced to voice a suitable response.

"Well I can't exactly say I relished the idea, but there's no way around it, is there?"

"You've never told me how you personally feel about me going to medical school…" raising her hand, she shook her head to prevent his immediate denial "…not what you really feel inside. You always tell me that it's about what I want and I do appreciate that Tom, I really do, but I would like to know what's really going on in your head." He opened his mouth briefly, and then closed it almost immediately, feeling that he couldn't adequately articulate his internal thoughts.

"If my opinion didn't count…" she pressed "…then what would yours be? Come on, please be honest."

The sensation of unease this raised, led him to look away as he replied, however he was honest enough to give her a true answer. "I'd rather you didn't do it." he said and glanced guiltily in her direction. She was smiling in encouragement and tipped her head to urge a further response.

"It's a purely selfish opinion though." he said, scratching his head with discomfort.

"That's OK…we all have selfish thoughts inside our minds from time to time…tell me why" she urged.

"Because I'll see so little of you…I love our life the way it is, we get a lot of free time together and I don't really want that to change. I can see through Gwen how hard it's going to be…you don't get to see her very often and neither does Kieran…I mean, he knew the score when they got back together and he doesn't complain about it, but deep down, I'd rather we just carried on the way we are." He took a deep breath before continuing. "However…I also don't want you to be frustrated and feel that you haven't fulfilled your potential in life, so I wouldn't ever want you to make your choice on the basis of my self-interest."

Sybil remained silent once he had finished, taking his hand and nodding as she glanced out again at the shore.

"Have I pissed you off?" he asked with a tone of regret, but she shook her head and smiled.

"No…I'm glad you've finally told me and I just regret that I didn't ask you to say it earlier…this should be a joint decision and not just mine. It wasn't until I was rejected that I really considered taking your opinion into account and that was wrong."

"But I still think…" his protestations were met with her palm covering his mouth and an impish smile.

"My instinct is that the decision has been made for us now and if I'm wrong…well then we'll talk about it again. OK?" He nodded his assent before she continued.

"I can't believe you thought I'd ever want to finish with you, Tom…what on earth was that all about? I know I've been a bit moody…" she gave a brief laugh "…as you so charmingly told me last night."

"Yes sorry about…."

"I deserved it. But still, how can you go from thinking that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, to believing it was all over?"

"Perhaps I'm not as self-confident as you always imagine." He grinned at her raised eyebrow and look of mock disbelief.

"I'm paranoid, I think…" he continued "…your mother said something odd last weekend…I probably read too much into nothing, but you didn't seem to want to be anywhere near me and got irritated by things I said and…well it all makes sense now of course, but it just goes to show that we should both be more honest with each other…tell one another if we're worried about something…whatever it is."

"Agreed."

"So what now?"

"Are you asking me about a general life plan, or how we should spend the next few hours?"

"Um…both" he replied with a light laugh.

"We'll know for definite, one way or another very soon." She leant forward, kissing him softly and he immediately responded by wrapping his arms around her, their embrace becoming more intense. As she broke away, she cupped her hand around his head and closed her eyes briefly.

"Thank you for taking it so well…I've been so worried about telling you and you've just made it all seem much less scary."

"Considering what I thought you were going to tell me, the news seems almost insignificant." he said jokingly, leaning in for another brief kiss.

"Let's go on the pier." Sybil's entire disposition had altered and he could see enthusiasm in her expression once again. He nodded and stood up, taking her hand and pulling her to join him.

"No roller coasters." he said solemnly and she nodded before he persisted "And no bumper cars…no twister."

"I know…it's the penny arcades for me, then."

"Penny?" he joked "When did you last come to the pier? Ten pence minimum nowadays…empty your pockets, Crawley."

She took his hand and they began to walk away.

"No wine" he added with a smile.

"I know"

"No caffeine"

"What?" she shrieked "I can have a cup of tea…"

He began to shake his head and tut teasingly. "You're the midwife, you should know these things…"

"I'm having a cup of tea now and again, I can tell you that for nothing…"

"No soft cheese…no seafood…no soft boiled eggs…"

"Oh God, you're going to be dictatorial, aren't you?" she protested. Tom gave a little laugh and draped one arm over her shoulders, while his other hand lightly touched her flat stomach.

"Just keeping my family safe." he said grinning.


	14. Chapter 14

_Thank you so much for your positive responses about the last couple of chapters. I was a bit anxious about how the angst would be received, but I'm glad that I was able to surprise most of you a little! Sorry to rain on the parade with the beginning of this chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy the ending! Two further chapters and an epilogue to go._

* * *

They spent the remainder of the weekend in a state of cautious excitement, repeatedly switching from making tentative plans to declaring that the subject matter should be avoided until they had conclusive proof. At times, both were lost in their own thoughts; sitting in the window of a café, each set of eyes drawn immediately to the sight of a pushchair or swollen stomach as they strove to quantify their new situation. There was anxiety as well as elation; neither relished the thought of advising their parents and knew that the news would cause an element of disappointment in both homes, regardless of the subsequent joy it would inevitably bring. Tom briefly touched upon the financial cost of maternity leave and nursery fees, leading Sybil to gently advise him about the full extent of her anticipated trust fund. As expected, this brought more dismay than gratitude as he struggled to balance a desire to personally support his family against the unavoidable wealth that his own children would one day inherit. He sat in a Mexican restaurant on the Saturday evening, head in his hands as Sybil calmly folded her fajita and added in what she hoped was a jovial tone. "Some people would give their right arm to have that kind of sum handed to them, you know Tom…can you pass me the guacamole please?" Still shaking his head as he bit into the meal, he muttered about mortgages and shared ownership while she made suitably pacifying responses, knowing that he would need time to fully digest the issue and come up with a mutually acceptable compromise.

The weekend reunited them; Tom relieved that his fears about the solidity of their relationship had proved unfounded, Sybil shaken from her morose and self-absorbed disposition which had clouded all other judgement. They clung to one another at the hotel that night, Tom's hands gently exploring Sybil's body in awe as he reflected on what they may have created. "I promise you that it won't hurt the baby" she whispered in his ear, recognising his hesitation and anxiety.

Returning to work on the Monday, Tom's concentration was frequently broken by fleeting thoughts of potential fatherhood and his face broke into intermittent involuntary smiles before he steeled himself to deliberate the article on which he was working. Sybil took another pregnancy test with confidence that evening; however they were both left puzzled by its negative results.

"You work with some of the country's leading fertility experts." Tom pointed out "Why don't you have a word with one of them? Perhaps they can give you a scan?"

She shook her head, "Firstly, they won't do a scan this early on and secondly I don't want to tell anyone at work…not yet. I mean, either way it could be really awkward going forward. We'll just have to wait a bit longer."

Only 24 hours later, they were provided with their conclusive answer when Tom opened their front door to find a watery eyed Sybil waiting for him in the hallway, chewing on a thumbnail.

"My period has started" she said abruptly, before he had even closed the door behind him. As his heart sank a little with disappointment, her face crumpled and she wailed "It was all in my head! I'm so stupid!"

Tom took her in his arms and led her to the living room, sinking onto the sofa and offering what physical comfort he could as she wept for the loss of a child that had never existed.

"You are not stupid…you've never been pregnant before and you've never had those symptoms before…God, it sounded plausible to me…exactly what Edie had, how were you to know?"

"So why did I have them? Why was I so late and why do my boobs still hurt? I'm a midwife, for God's sake…I should know about these things!"

"You have been under a lot of stress recently…" he offered and hesitated before continuing "…perhaps it crossed your mind that it was physically possible, so maybe you were kind of looking out for symptoms that otherwise you might not notice?"

"So I invented it all, you mean?" she snapped, glaring at him as he tried to appease her by stroking her back.

"No...the body does weird and wonderful things sometimes, that's all I'm saying. You're not the first person to unwittingly think they might be pregnant."

"Aren't you disappointed?" she challenged and he nodded.

"Of course…I was excited and I'm sorry it's not happening, but in all reality, when we've had a chance to think about it some more, it wasn't the best timing really…I mean we were going to make the best of it of course, but in the long run, it might be no bad thing that we can delay it a little."

"And now what am I supposed to do about medical school?" she asked, blowing her nose loudly and grinding her heel into the carpet with frustration. Tom didn't reply and waited for her inevitable further consideration on the issue.

"I was so relieved that the decision had been made for me, despite the potential responsibility of a baby, it was as if a large weight had been taken off my shoulders…and now I feel it's all up in air again."

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear gently and offered his tentative suggestion.

"Then don't you think that you've just made your decision, Syb?"

She glanced at him and her thumbnail returned to her mouth before she looked down at the floor and muttered "Everyone will be disappointed in me."

"Oh that's complete rubbish!" Tom raised his voice in slight exasperation and they both jumped at the change in tone. "Sorry, sorry…but honestly Sybil, please don't think that."

"Well I know you're not" she replied sulkily, still staring at the carpet and he was pleased that she wasn't able to see the roll of his eyes in response.

"Your parents were supportive, but they each voiced their concern to you from the beginning about how hard it was going to be and how it would dominate all aspects of your life…both of your sisters have done the same at some point…your friends…"

"Not Gwen" she interrupted but he shook his head.

"If she's disappointed, it'll be for herself…that she hasn't got you to share the process with her…look, you know her better than I do, but I don't see her as somebody who will think you've let anyone down…she cares about you, she'll want what's best for you." Sybil gave a half-hearted shrug before he continued. "Well if she doesn't, then she's not as good a friend as you believe, but I think you're just trying to punish yourself. There's no shame in changing your mind about something, you know…our course of life alters and we want different things than we did before." He paused then, briefly. "I don't want you to think that I'm trying to push you the other way now, all I'm doing is letting you know how it appears to me…ultimately, you have to make the final decision, but that still doesn't have to be now…you can wait for a while, once the disappointment has settled?"

Sybil shook her head and shuffled awkwardly on the sofa "No…" she said quietly with apparent resignation "…you're right...deep down, I don't want to do it any more….or at least, I do in principle, but I don't want to devote so many years to getting there…I think that having a family is more important to me now."

"Well you know, my Dad always used to say that you should never shut a door entirely unless it's slammed in your face, so you can always keep medical school at the back of your mind…if you change your mind in a few months' time, then it doesn't matter…keep all options open for the time being."

Sybil looked up at him shyly "So shall we try again, then? If it's what we now realise that we both want?"

Momentarily, he was confused by her suggestion, his mind still tied up with medical school and study commitments, but he smiled when her meaning became apparent.

"I think we should get married first, don't you?…I wasn't really looking forward to telling Mam and can you imagine what your Granny's reaction was going to be?" Sybil exhaled a brief, excited giggle as he drew her close and gave a soft kiss to the side of her head. They each carried an air of anticipation until he narrowed his eyes slightly, before scratching his chin in contemplation.

"I know it's just a formality really, but I've promised myself that I'm going to ask you properly and I don't want it to be tonight when we're both wrapped up in too much disappointed emotion. It has to be under more positive circumstances…so let's do it right and then, yes…we can try for a baby."

She nodded her agreement and began to tuck her feet up on the sofa, twisting to a kneeling position and offering a cheekily suggestive expression as she pushed him back on to the cushions and whispered softly.

"OK, but no harm in practicing in the meantime…"

* * *

On the Thursday of the following week, Sybil retrieved her bag from her locker at the end of a busy shift and switched on her phone to find a text from Tom.

**I'm outside the front entrance. Lovely sunny evening, walk along the river for drink & food, then get bus home? T xx**

Bounding outside with anticipation, she stopped briefly within the hospital lobby and watched him outside the automatic door, leaning against a sign and watching the busy thoroughfare of people passing. The bright sunlight made his hair appear a couple of shades lighter than usual, a royal blue shirt contrasted well against neutral trousers and with his sunglasses on, he had the confident appearance of a film star, matched by admiring glances from female passers-by. Gratified to note that he seemed oblivious to such appreciation, she stepped out and was rewarded by a beaming smile and enthusiastic kiss.

"This is a great idea" she complimented and he squeezed her hand, leading her through the throngs of commuters who were now spilling out on to the pavements.

"I thought we'd cross the river and walk west until we've found somewhere for a drink and bite to eat, then just continue until we've had enough and jump on a bus. That OK?" he asked and she was happy to avoid the decision making process, her head still spinning from a busy day at work.

They crossed over the Millennium Bridge to the Tate Modern and then began to stroll languidly along the riverbank, hands entwined, their eyes darting either side to watch boats and pedestrians. Those cafés, bars and restaurants which offered prime riverfront locations were packed with others who had similar plans and had earlier staked their claim to a seat. The evening sun beat warmly and Tom took off his jacket, swinging it casually over his shoulder with a finger.

"What's that on your arm?" Sybil asked as she spotted blue marks on exposed flesh as his limb stretched and flexed. Tom pulled his sleeve back down to his wrist in noticeable discomfort and his face flushed.

"Nothing" he muttered and attempted to divert her attention with a passing vessel.

Her curiosity was raised and she stopped walking, her head tipped to one side with a teasing smile "Come on…what is it?" and she reached across in an effort to hold his arm still. With an abrupt jerk, he pulled away from her and shook his head, clearly ill at ease. His actions only increased Sybil's inquisitiveness and she opened her mouth with astonishment.

"Oh my God, Tom…have you got another tattoo?"

"What, during my lunch break?..." he snapped "…of course not!"

"Then, what is it?"

His determined silence and evident unease led Sybil to feel anxious and her expression altered to one of disquiet. "Please show me…you're making me worried now."

He glanced at her and on seeing her noticeable alarm, gave an audible sigh of frustration.

"I don't want to do it here" he muttered, looking around at passing pedestrians and nodding at the row of restaurants close by, all of which were a hive of activity.

"Do what here?!" she asked in bewilderment and he looked pleadingly at her, shaking his head from side to side.

"No…" she continued firmly "…tell me now."

"Fine!" he replied loudly, lifting his arms up in defeat and began to unbutton the shirt around his right wrist. In confusion, Sybil could see a list of numbers written with ink on the underneath of his arm and she looked up at him without understanding.

Tom dropped his jacket and jabbed at the first number with his left index finger.

"Sybil Crawley…" he began "it is 549 days since I met you…" His finger moved down to the second number and his voice softened as he regarded her confused expression "…514 days since I first kissed you…489 days since I first made love to you and 435 days since I realised that I was and still am, completely and utterly in love with you."

Sybil's mouth opened in shock, but she was unable to respond with more than a high pitched squeak as Tom reached into his trouser pocket and brought out a small blue box. Despite being struck mute, her face broke into a smile and Tom relaxed a little as he coughed in anticipation, glanced briefly to either side and then bent down on one knee, taking her hand as he did so.

"So will you please make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?" With a deft flick of his finger, the box opened and Sybil was briefly dazzled by glittering shades of red and green, before a loud cheer came to their attention. A group of skateboarding teenagers were standing to one side of the promenade, watching the scene unfold and as Tom and Sybil turned their heads, they gave encouraging whoops, raising their thumbs aloft.

"Well?" Tom asked "My knees are killing me here…"

"Of course…yes!" she squealed and he jumped up to wrap his arms around her, rewarded by a round of applause from diners at a nearby café, several of whom had risen to their feet in appreciation. Both blushing and laughing, they nodded and waved shyly in response, while Tom slipped the ring on her finger and she gazed at it in awe.

"I knew I wouldn't remember all those numbers without a prompt…" he whispered, kissing her gently "…and I wanted them to be correct."

"I'm so sorry that I pushed you into doing it before you were ready" Sybil started to giggle and they both looked again at their audience, still nodding and smiling appreciatively in their direction.

"Mmm…yeah, I'd planned on getting past this busy area…thought I'd try somewhere a little more private." He was smiling at her as she looked down again at her ring.

"It's beautiful, Tom…where did it come from?"

"I had it made at a jewellers' near the office…rubies for England and emeralds for Ireland…" Momentarily, he displayed faint hesitation "I know you've got far more impressive jewellery in the bank, but I came up with the design myself so at least it's unique."

"Tom, it's wonderful…the most stunning ring I've ever seen." Her beaming smile was genuine and reassured him of her sentiment. "When did you get it?"

" I've had it since before Christmas, just waiting for the right time and place." He gave a little laugh and nodded again towards the amused onlookers. "I'm not entirely sure that this was the right place, but I guess it'll give them all something to talk about when they go home."

"It was perfect, I promise you…" Sybil wrapped her arms around his neck "I was just so taken aback, I wasn't expecting it today at all!"

Tom gave a mischievous grin as he surveyed the scene once again, then breathed gently into her ear. "Told you I'd surprise you!"


	15. Chapter 15

After an animated leap across the concourse, Gwen enveloped Sybil in a huge hug at Ripon Station, before raising her friend's left hand aloft and expressing admiration at its recent adornment.

"Ooooh, look at that, Syb….it's just lovely…wow, how exciting!…congratulations again, I'm so sorry that I haven't seen you since you told me your news."

"Don't worry about it; you're so close to your exams now…we'll see plenty of each other over the summer, I'm sure."

It was the date of Cora and Robert's thirtieth wedding anniversary and final preparations for their celebratory party were under way. Invitations had been sent to friends and relations as well as some of their children's closest acquaintances, with whom they had enjoyed spending time over the years. Sybil's school friend, Anna, was taking the opportunity to stay with her own parents in Ripon, together with her now husband, John; while Gwen and Kieran were to be accommodated at Downton itself. Initially reluctant to travel so close to the beginning of her second year exams, Gwen had subsequently relented on the agreement that she travelled alone on the train, enabling her to revise during both journeys. Kieran had driven up with Tom and Sybil a day earlier, his promise not to distract Gwen on the train, wholly disbelieved.

"So…" Gwen swung her rucksack over her shoulder and linked her arm in Sybil's as they crossed the station car park. "…when's the big day going to be, then?"

"Probably April next year…we had thought about this autumn, but it was going to be a bit of a rush once we get back from holiday and I don't want to do it in the winter, really."

"I don't suppose it'll be a small affair…" Gwen joked and Sybil rolled her eyes in agreement.

"We're having to rein Mum in already…she'll invite half the county if we let her…I've said she can save all that for Mary, if it ever happens…I just want our friends and family there."

"So it'll be at Downton?"

Sybil nodded "I can't imagine getting married anywhere else really and Tom's OK with having it at a Protestant church…his mother took some convincing, but I think she's coming round to the idea…there might be one or two of Tom's relatives who use it as an excuse not to come, but we just feel that it's their loss really." She came to a halt and unlocked her car, throwing her small bag over the back of the seat and climbing in. As Gwen sat down beside her, she glanced at Sybil cautiously.

"So you'll be swapping your stethoscope for nappies and all that malarkey, then?"

Sybil turned round suddenly and put her hand on Gwen's arm. "Are you really disappointed in me?" she asked earnestly, making a face.

Gwen shook her head. "Of course not…it's not a choice for the half-hearted, so if it's not what you want now, then of course you've made the right decision." She paused briefly "I just hope you don't get frustrated in twenty five years' time when your kids have grown up and you're still taking temperatures and blood samples, that's all."

"I'm still ambitious Gwen…" Sybil reassured "…there's a long way I can go within midwifery and I'll definitely keep working and try to fulfil my potential…I've actually just applied for a Band 6 level position within my department, so we'll see what happens there, but I'll be looking out for opportunities to keep learning and improving, hopefully getting involved in some of the research as well."

"That's good, you seem more relaxed about it all now that you've made the decision anyway…much better than me, I'm burnt out, I think."

"Well in just under three weeks' time, you'll be through these exams and you can have a bit of a break…re-charge your batteries before year three."

Gwen nodded. "Anyway, I'm really glad that I decided to come after all…I'm just not going to think about it all until I'm back on that train tomorrow lunchtime…I mean to enjoy myself!" As Sybil began to drive out of the car park, she gave a brief grin and asked. "So…is Kieran behaving himself?"

"He's fine, yes…really enjoying his stay, I think."

"Good"

"He's very taken with Isis…took her out for a walk in the woods on his own this morning."

"Yes, well he loves dogs…he wasn't able to have one when he was younger because his sister's allergic…" Gwen broke off and gave a little laugh "…sometimes I forget that we're going out with brothers and you know all these Branson family stories already."

Sybil kept her eyes on the road but deliberately posed her next question lightly.

"So, it's all going well then...you two?" She let her eyes dart briefly left and caught sight of Gwen's quiet smile of satisfaction in response.

"Well I haven't seen much of him in the last month because of all my revision, but yes…surprisingly well, thank you."

"Has he met your parents yet?"

Gwen twisted in her seat and began to giggle "I haven't told you about the Grand Prix, have I?" Sybil shook her head before she continued.

"He met them one Friday night…I guess it was two weeks ago now, we went to that nice curry house round the corner from mine?" Sybil nodded.. "So, he came to pick me up and charmed the socks off them both…then on the Sunday afternoon, I was studying upstairs…heard the doorbell go, but didn't think much of it…then I thought 'I recognise that laugh'…went downstairs and there's Kieran, sitting on the sofa next to my Dad with a beer in his hand! And he just looked up all casually and said 'Oh hi Gwen, I didn't want to disturb you, but Don's invited me round to watch the Grand Prix with him!"

Sybil started to laugh and made a face of mock indignation. "Don?...Your Dad's never invited me to call him Don and I've known him for over five years!"

"Yeah, well that's because he's still hung up on you being a Lady, he thinks he should keep up the formalities, but still…I can't believe that they're making their own private social arrangements without me!"

"And where was your Mum while all this was going on?"

"Oh flitting in and out of the room, grinning like the Cheshire cat…" she sighed "…so now if I ever split up with him, I'll have the wrath of my parents, as well as everything else!"

Sybil turned her head briefly and offered a smirk "Perhaps you won't…."

"Mmm…well we'll see…early days…anyway I've applied for student accommodation near the hospital from September."

"Well you always said that you wouldn't stay at your parents' indefinitely."

"Yeah and they've been great, they really have…never asked me for rent, they've saved me shed loads of money and it's meant that I haven't had to borrow as much, but I need my own space now…some privacy."

"In which to shag Kieran…"

"Exactly, Syb! You know me so well!" the two of them were laughing now, enjoying their easy, friendly banter under relaxed circumstances. "I mean, I stay at his, but you know…three men sharing a flat…their hygiene leaves a lot to be desired…I ended up cleaning the loo myself last time, it was disgusting!"

"So he's taking some time off work when you finish your exams isn't he?"

Gwen nodded "We might go away for a couple of days."

Sybil gasped and Gwen swung round to face her in alarm. However, it was all in jest and her friend was simply holding a hand over her mouth in an artificially shocked expression.

"Gwen Dawson…are you telling me that you're actually going on a mini-break with a man?!"

"Yeah, alright Syb…don't tell everyone, or they'll think I've gone soft!"

* * *

As Tom came upstairs to get dressed for the party, he made a rueful face at Sybil who was sitting at her dressing table, putting on some make-up.

"Remind me…we are getting married next year, aren't we?" he asked "…I haven't missed something vital and it's now been brought forward to next week?"

"Is this about my Mum, by any chance?" Sybil enquired, turning in her seat to look at him as he nodded.

"She just started talking to me about table plans…I mean, we haven't even sat down and talked about who we're inviting yet, never mind start deciding whether Great Aunt Agnes can be placed next to Uncle Brian."

"Who's Great Aunt Agnes?" Sybil queried with alarm, trying desperately to recollect all of Tom's large, extended family.

"Nobody…I've just made her up, but that's what I mean…it's pointless having that conversation until we know who's coming." He sat down on the bed and rubbed his face, groaning quietly. "Eleven months of this…can't we just run off to Gretna Green instead?"

"It's only because we're here at Downton and it's all new and exciting for her, she'll calm down soon…I promise to field her phone calls in the meantime!"

"Still…" he said slowly, leaning back on the bed and stretching out his arms luxuriously across the duvet "…being engaged has its advantages here…can't believe I'm allowed to sleep in your room…finally!"

"I think they've decided that it's respectable enough now."

"What about your Granny?"

"I doubt she had any say in it…the house is so full tonight that she's being taken home in a taxi…so she'll never know!"

"Even Kieran and Gwen are sharing a room."

"Scandalous!" laughed Sybil and he grinned.

"Well I pity those in the room next door…and what about Richard Carlisle…what do you think of him by the way?"

"Well he's not sharing with Mary, I know that much…she's put him a different wing, so I don't know if that's significant…he was OK I suppose…charming enough and polite, but he smiled with his mouth and not with his eyes."

"I shouldn't have told you anything about him, you've pre-judged him."

"No I haven't…" she said indignantly "…I'm perfectly capable of forming my own opinions, thank you."

"Sorry."

"I just still think that Mary's using him as a tactical advantage against Matthew, so whether or not they're suited is almost irrelevant. And I think he's enjoying going out with an Earl's daughter and all that it brings, he was gushing about the house and the grounds and everything."

"Well there's plenty to gush about…I was pretty in awe of it all when I first came here and I'm definitely not a social climber."

Sybil narrowed her eyes a little. "You were talking to him for quite a while during tea."

"Work stuff mainly…he'd read a couple of my articles this week and was talking about Michael and what he's done in the past."

"So he'd done his homework on you then?"

"Sybil!" Tom wagged his finger at her solemnly. "It's not like you to be so cynical about someone you hardly know…it's his job to do homework on people."

"At an anniversary party? With his new girlfriend's future brother-in-law?"

"If he's in the same line of business, yes…he's a good man for me to know, Syb…you never know if I might need a new job in the future."

"So that's why you're so keen on talking to him…now who's being cynical?"

Tom rolled his eyes and shook his head, smiling. "Right…I'm having a shower…you finish getting ready and stop your plotting!"

They came downstairs a little while later as the party was commencing, catching up with Edith in the hallway, which enabled Sybil to show off the ring once again to her rather envious sister.

"I've been going out with Anthony at least eighteen months longer than you and Tom" she muttered, while squeezing Sybil's arm affectionately in order to prove that her grievance was only half-hearted.

"So ask him" urged Sybil

"What, ask him if he's planning to propose?"

"No…you propose to him if it means that much to you."

"But, I want to be proposed to!" Edith whined a little, glancing down again at Sybil's left hand.

"Oh come on Edith…it's the 21st Century…you've got to admit that Anthony dithers about what to eat at dinner, you could be middle aged before he gets round to marriage…grab the bull by the horns and ask him yourself!"

"Well that's easy for you to say when you haven't had to."

"I would have done…" Sybil looked at her sincerely "…I was giving Tom until we got back from holiday and if he hadn't done it by then, I was going to ask him instead."

"Right!" said Edith looking around her wildly.

"You don't have to do it right this very minute…" her sister hissed with a touch of anxiety "…it's Mum and Dad's big night."

Edith looked at her and gave a nod, followed by a big grin and wandered towards the ballroom with a steely look on her face.

"Bloody hell…she's a woman on a mission now…" laughed Tom who had witnessed the exchange "…poor Anthony won't know what's hit him!"

They were about to follow when the sound of a familiar voice behind them made them stop and turn around.

"Matt!" cried Tom with instinctive enthusiasm and Sybil began to accompany him in greeting, while glancing around to see if Mary was within the immediate vicinity. Not having seen one another since the previous summer, their shared embrace was mutually earnest and Sybil's face lit up in genuine delight to see him again.

"Can I introduce Lavinia?" Matthew asked, reaching out his arm and nudging forward a pretty, auburn haired woman who smiled shyly in response.

"This is Tom and Sybil" he explained and she nodded in recognition of their names.

"Matthew has told me lots about you both. Many congratulations on your engagement."

The conversation was initially stilted, with polite questions raised about their journey and where they were staying, before Matthew ran his hands through his hair awkwardly and raised the subject looming ominously in all of their minds.

"Look…do you know where Mary is? I think it would be best to get all these mutual introductions out of the way, don't you? We're both feeling anxious about it and I'm sure she and her new beau are too. Then we can all relax and enjoy ourselves."

"Would you like me to go and find her…bring her out here?" asked Sybil tentatively.

"No…just guide us in her general direction…that'll be fine."

As they entered the ballroom together, a light hush descended on the existing guests as they caught sight of the latest visitors and anticipated the awkward encounter about to transpire. However, Mary's hostess skills were faultless and she immediately endeavoured to minimise any disturbance by coming towards them with a friendly smile.

"Matthew" she said confidently and reached up to kiss him gently on both cheeks "…and you must be Lavinia…how lovely to meet you at last. Welcome to Downton." She looked behind her and indicated her anxious looking parents across the room, as she tucked her hand under a startled Lavinia's elbow. "Come and meet my parents…and you must both say hello to Richard too…"

Tom watched Mary with newly discovered awe as all introductions were smoothly completed and everyone returned to their drinks and respective conversations.

"She's amazing" Sybil said softly and turned to Tom "I'd want to curl up and die if you came in here with another woman." He nodded in agreement but remained silent until a sudden jab in the ribs returned him to full consciousness.

"That's your cue to say 'but I never will, Sybil'" she muttered and he laughed.

"Sorry…I thought you knew that was the case, by now."

"Don't get complacent now that we're engaged, Branson…"

* * *

"Cora and I are so delighted that you have all been able to come here this evening and help us to celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary." Robert stood on the small stage in front of the now silent band in the ballroom, glass of champagne in hand, beaming at his guests.

"I still vividly remember…as if it was yesterday…the moment that my good friend George introduced me to, in his own words, a charming American girl over in London for a semester. By the end of that evening, I was determined that I wasn't going to let her go home again at the end of that semester!" Fond smiles greeted Robert and he raised his glass towards George in silent appreciation. "In the end, as you all know, she did go back to finish her studies, but I doggedly chased her back to Connecticut and managed to persuade her to come and spend one year in England once she had graduated." He paused and tipped his head for effect "…and she still says that she's just going to give it until the end of the year before she goes home." There was enthusiastic laughter from his audience and Cora added to the charade, by firmly nodding her head in agreement.

"We have been blessed in our marriage by many things, but none so much as our three remarkable daughters, each of whom has made us extremely proud in their own individual ways. Lawyer, entrepreneur and midwife; all of them are forging their independent and successful lives and while we mourn their loss from this home, our hearts swell with joy as we watch them blossom and flourish as young women."

Mary, Edith and Sybil all gave suitably bashful smiles to the guests and smiled fondly at their father, before he continued. "And as I know many of you are already aware, Sybil has recently announced her engagement to Tom, so the first of our girls is beginning the journey towards starting a family of her own."

"No pressure, then" Tom whispered and the corners of Sybil's mouth twitched in response.

"…we are overjoyed by their news and are delighted to welcome Tom into our family."

Some unidentified joker called out "God help him…" and a responsive chuckle rippled around the room. Tom provided a suitably mock expression of horror and Sybil squeezed his hand.

"We are nothing without those around us…" Robert was reaching his conclusion and encouraged everyone to lift their glasses in a toast "…and all of you here tonight have contributed to making this such a happy and successful marriage. Thank you all and here's to another wonderful thirty years!"

"To Cora and Robert!" was the unanimous cheer before the crowd began to disperse and the band commenced once again.

Tom turned around to see Piers Donaldson by his side. Congratulations had already been dispensed earlier in the evening, but Piers tipped his head towards him and asked quietly.

"What's Mary doing with Richard Carlisle…seems an odd match to me?"

"I thought you'd approve…" Tom replied with a smile "…he's a big Conservative party donor, isn't he?"

"Doesn't mean that I think he's a suitable match for my friend's daughter, though…he's a wily fox…not to mention that he's been around the block a few times, if you get my drift."

"I reckon Mary can look after herself…Sybil thinks she's playing games with Matthew and his new girlfriend, but who knows…I've given up trying to figure Mary out to be honest."

Piers chuckled "Yes, she's not as easy to read as the other two, that's for sure. I thought that Matthew brought out the best in her….great shame about them."

"It is, yes."

"Ah well, you won the greatest prize of all, Tom…just make sure you never forget it."

"I promise"

* * *

"Those two just need to get a room" muttered Tom with embarrassment as he stood with Sybil, Anna and John and tried to avert his eyes from Kieran and Gwen enthusiastically kissing in a nearby corner.

"They've got a room upstairs" Anna replied, smiling.

"Well then they should go up there…for Christ's sake, everyone's looking at them."

"Nobody is looking at them except you, Tom" replied Sybil patiently. "Honestly…anyone would think you're thirty years older than him, rather than just two…you've kissed me like that in public before."

"Not in full view of your parents!" he protested.

"Well they're not Gwen's parents so I'm sure they don't care…you're so hard on him, you should listen to yourself."

"I just wish he'd grow up a bit sometimes."

Sybil shook her head gently "You look at him and see the twenty-one year old scallywag that you left behind when you came to London. I've seen him mature even in the year and a half that I've known him, you just don't notice."

"He doesn't take anything seriously" Tom complained, already knowing that he was fighting a losing battle and that Sybil would defend his brother from all angles.

"He is quite different from you…" contributed John, nodding "…I mean personality wise, that is…you obviously look like brothers."

"He still has the same priorities, I think…" Sybil added "…he just displays it in a different manner, that's all…he's a joker, but underneath he's got a very kind and loyal heart. He'd do anything for his family, works hard, he's very respectful of the study that Gwen has to do and he's shown how much he really cares about her in the last couple of months."

Tom tipped his head to one side with amusement at her brief monologue. "Sorry, would you like to marry him instead of me?" he joked and she grinned, raising her eyebrows and putting her hands on her hips. "Got to keep you on your toes!" she added.

"Have you actually given your parents their anniversary gift yet?" he asked, deciding that diverting the conversation was his best tactic and nodded with satisfaction as she brought her hand to her mouth in self-reprimand.

"I've completely forgotten to bring it down…" she said laughing "I'll go and get it now…put it on the table with the others."

She walked back into the main hallway, ran up the staircase to her room and retrieved the package from her bag. Returning to the top of the stairs, the sound of her heels muffled on recently replaced soft carpet; she had only just placed one hand on the bannister, when looking down she saw Mary walking across the hallway. Before she had time to call out a greeting, another voice spoke her sister's name and Sybil watched her turn around in response. She recognised Matthew's tone and instinctively stepped backwards out of potential view. Crouching down, she tiptoed to a tiny alcove on the landing and peeked though a gap in the bannisters, recalling how she and her sisters would hide in the same place when their parents were hosting evening events that they were not invited to join.

"Hello" replied Mary in what Sybil felt was a slightly guarded tone. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Of course" Matthew replied "It's lovely to be back."

"Well Mum and Dad are delighted to see you again, they've missed you."

"And I them…all of you in fact."

Sybil craned her neck to watch them look silently at one another for a moment.

"You especially" added Matthew softly and Mary responded with a rueful smile and shake of her head.

"Well you're the one who decided to leave!" she pointed out.

"Only because you turned me down and I was hurt."

"Yes, well…I've had plenty of time to reflect on that particular decision."

"And do you regret it?"

Mary paused and stared intently at him.

"Is there any point in regrets?" she asked

"Sometimes."

"Matthew, are you drunk?"

"A little tipsy" he gave a light laugh "Not a lot, I promise...I needed some Dutch courage for tonight."

"You seemed to be having a marvellous time to me, joking around with Tom and dancing with Lavinia."

"Have you been watching me, then?"

There was a momentary pause before Mary replied smoothly "Of course…I watch everyone, I'm the perfect hostess!"

"Well I was watching you…and that Richard" Matthew almost spat the last word and Mary arched an eyebrow with expert ease.

"Don't be childish Matthew, it doesn't suit you."

"He doesn't suit you."

"You don't know him."

"I don't need to."

"Oh for goodness sake, Matthew…we're all adults here…you've moved on, I've moved on."

"I suit you."

Mary cocked her head to one side as if she hadn't heard him and he repeated the words softly, moving closer to her and taking hold of her hand. She stood still, initially frozen to the spot as he leant towards her, before taking her own determined step and reaching up to meet his lips. Sybil watched with a mixture of horror and jubilation, but then placed her hands over her eyes, affording them in her own way, some form of privacy.

The quiet was dispelled almost instantly as a female voice cried out "Matthew!" and both participants broke away aghast.

"Lavinia!" Matthew called out and out of view, Sybil heard the sound of female footsteps hurrying away. With a last beseeching glance at Mary, he turned and followed in the same direction, leaving her standing in the middle of the hall, her hands over her face.

"Mary!" Sybil hissed, her head appearing over the bannister as her sister looked up towards her. Her usually measured expression was entirely misplaced, supplanted instead by a look of unreserved heartbreak.

"Come up here" Sybil mouthed, beckoning wildly. Mary hesitated for a moment, glanced back towards the ballroom from which there was a sudden shriek of laughter and then began to run up the stairs. Sybil met her at the top, grabbed her hand in silence and hastily led her down the corridor into her bedroom. Recognising her evident distress, Sybil pushed her door shut quickly and placed her hands on Mary's arms, looking at her with compassion.

"How much did you see?" Mary whispered with horror.

"Enough" was her sister's sympathetic reply, as she gently rubbed Mary's arm.

"Oh God, Sybil…" Mary's habitual strong composure crumbled and she sat down heavily on Sybil's bed, head in her hands. Her sister joined her, a palm gently resting on her back, soft words of encouragement murmured as she attempted to coax Mary into expressing her inner turmoil.

"I still love him so much!" Mary suddenly wailed, her voice cracking with heartfelt emotion. "I've been such an idiot…" and she broke into harsh, desperate sobs, clinging on to her sister's arm with distress. Sybil offered as much comfort as she could, but knew that it would be cathartic for Mary to release her anguish without recrimination, after having restrained it for so many months.

Several minutes later, the sobs had reduced to intermittent gasps and her usual elegance had been replaced by swollen red eyes and mascara trickling down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry…" she muttered, while Sybil shook her head in sympathy and squeezed her shoulders affectionately.

"He still loves you" she said confidently and nodded her head when Mary gave her a look of disbelief.

"He's been drinking quite a bit, I don't think we need to read too much into it."

"Mary, I heard him…that wasn't the voice of a man who thought he'd try his luck with an old girlfriend and have a drunken snog."

"Well he ran after Lavinia quickly enough…oh God, how awful that she saw."

"Oh never mind about her" Sybil retorted with a nonchalant wave of her hand. Mary smiled sadly.

"Not wearing your compassionate hat tonight then?"

"Only for you…I'm sure she's very nice, but she seemed a bit bland to me and definitely not suited to Matthew."

"Perhaps she's perfect for him."

Sybil took hold of her sister's shoulders firmly and looked into her eyes. "No, you're perfect for him…listen to me…sometimes you have to fight for what you want, no don't shake your head like that...take a risk and tell him that you're sorry and that you want him back." She paused hesitantly for a moment. "If that's true and you do?"

Mary nodded. "What if he tells me it was all a mistake?" she whispered, suddenly aghast at the possibility and its potential repercussions.

"Well then only you and he will ever know…and me of course, but he's hardly going to broadcast it to all your friends and family…Matthew's not like that."

"And what am I going to do about Richard?" sighed Mary "After dragging him all the way up here? Introducing him to all the family." She smiled at Sybil who was again waving her hand around her head. "Yes, I know… never mind about him…it's not funny Sybil…people are going to get hurt here."

For a short space of time, Sybil looked hesitant and felt an element of guilt, although it was swiftly overridden by loyal priority towards her sibling and cousin.

"I can't say anything tonight…not with Lavinia and Richard both here." Mary considered and glanced towards Sybil's dressing table and tell-tale mirror. "And especially with me looking so awful." She stared thoughtfully at the wall. "I have to end it with Richard tomorrow…regardless of what happens, it isn't fair."

"Are you very sorry?" Sybil asked with genuine curiosity.

"He's been very interesting and good company…it wasn't love, but he's attractive and I've enjoyed spending time with him…I hope he's professional enough to just carry on as colleagues, I'm sure he will be, I suspect he's been in similar situations before."

"Matthew's coming to London with work next week" Sybil said thoughtfully and Mary turned to look at her.

"And?" Mary arched an eyebrow and offered a conspiratorial smirk.

"How's your work schedule?"

"Well I'm supposed to be in Manchester all week."

"Can you take a day off?"

"Possibly…why, what are you suggesting?"

Sybil leant towards her again with an animated spark in her eyes. Taking hold of her sister's hand, she gave it an affectionate squeeze and the corner of her mouth curled with enthusiasm.

"I have a plan!" she declared.


	16. Chapter 16

_Final chapter – the epilogue will follow mid-week._

* * *

Sybil was carefully chopping an onion, an onerous task which, with her limited culinary skills still took her a great deal of time and concentration, when Tom cautiously peeped his head around the kitchen door.

"Booby trap set up…listening devices all in working order?" he asked, trying his best to sound jovial but with an overwhelming sensation of offering only gallows humour. Sybil glanced up from under her fringe and smiled.

"We're just having Matthew over for dinner, that's all…nothing to worry about." Tom delivered a sharp cough, signalling his desire for her to complete her sentence.

"And then Mary will arrive." she concluded, nodding her head with confidence.

"And then possibly Matthew will never talk to either of us ever again!" Tom said in a light, sing song voice, leaning forward to pinch a small piece of chopped up mushroom from a nearby plate. Sybil swung round and moved as if to slap his arm and he removed it swiftly.

"Christ, Sybil…remember you've still got a knife in your hand, will you!"

He opened the fridge door, feeling hungry but not being entirely sure of what he wanted to satisfy it. Seeing nothing which took his fancy, he closed it again and turned to a nearby cupboard.

"Have we got any crisps?" he asked, peering inside.

"Then you won't have room for my risotto" Sybil replied, finishing her final cut of the onion and sweeping the pieces into a nearby saucepan. Tom stood up, put his hands over his face briefly, then removed them, looking around the room in a confused manner.

"For a moment there, I thought I was a thirty-one year old man sharing a kitchen with his fiancée, but no…I was wrong, I'm clearly still nine and you are MY MOTHER!" Sybil swung around, concerned that he was genuinely annoyed with her, but he flashed her a brief grin and reached into another cupboard, retrieving a small bag of crisps with a flourish.

"I promise to still eat your delicious dinner my darling" he said and sat down at the table, opening the bag and beginning to eat. Sybil began to walk towards him, smiling.

"Oh no you don't…" he said, hiding the packet behind his back. "…you get your own."

"I only want one!" she protested and began to laugh as he shook his head and wagged a finger in her direction.

"Yeah, yeah…I've heard that before…anyway, you want to be nice to me because for once, I am the one with gossip!"

"Oooh…what?" she asked, sitting opposite him and placing her hands on the table in anticipation. He nodded towards the hob.

"Stir that onion or it'll burn" he instructed with a mouth full of crisps and she sighed, returning to do as he suggested.

"Come on…tell me" she insisted, remaining standing and waving a wooden spoon in the air.

"Have you spoken to Gwen this week?"

"Not since I dropped her off at Ripon station, no….why?"

"Kieran rang me while I was on the train home."

"And?"

Tom smirked with the satisfaction of withholding information she was desperate to hear and paused for dramatic effect.

"They're moving in together."

Sybil gasped. "Oh my God! Really?" she paused and looked momentarily indignant. "I can't believe she hasn't told me!"

"I think it's all happened pretty quickly…over a couple of days, in fact…no doubt she'll fill you in."

"So where and how come…my God, I can't believe it…she said she was going into student accommodation from September."

Tom nodded "That's what she told Kieran, but it seems he's been on the lookout for an alternative that she couldn't say no to."

"Which is what?"

"A flat near Tooting Broadway tube station…walking distance from the hospital…second bedroom is more of a cupboard, but they can get a desk in it and use it as her study…he's going to pay two thirds of the rent and she won't pay any more than she would have done otherwise."

"My God, he really has thought it all out, hasn't he? And she just agreed?"

"He said there was a nominal amount of protesting, but he was quite confident that she was just blustering for the sake of it…then she apparently started laughing and said she'd look at it and once she'd seen it, she was entirely enthusiastic. He's going over to pay the deposit tonight."

"Well well well…" Sybil was smiling "I can hardly believe it."

"There's more" Tom added with relish and Sybil raised an eyebrow in response.

"If you want real proof of their newly committed status, as soon as she's finished with her exams…" he leant forward and added with a dramatic whisper "…they're going to Ikea together!"

Sybil's eyes opened wide at this information and she nodded sagely with a glimmer of a smirk. "It must be love."

* * *

Satisfied that her risotto was close to completion, Sybil removed it from the hob and announced that she was going to have a shower and freshen up. Tom glanced at his watch and frowned.

"He'll be here in a minute" he muttered anxiously.

"I won't be long, I promise"

He exhaled loudly, rubbing the back of his neck with unease. "I want you to know that if this all goes horribly wrong, I will blame you entirely."

"Yes, so you've already said…several times. And if it doesn't?"

"I am still very uncomfortable with it all."

Sybil made a sympathetic face. "I know…but she is my sister."

"Yeah and he is my friend…anyway, I don't want to have this discussion again, I just want to get it over with…hurry up in the bathroom."

It was inevitable that almost as soon as he heard the sound of the bathroom door locking, it would be echoed by the front doorbell. Tom had been dreading the possibility of having to spend time with Matthew alone, forced to pretend that there was no ulterior motive behind their dinner invitation and that he knew nothing of his emotive encounter with Mary the previous weekend. Drawing his shoulders back in anticipation, he took a deep breath before opening the door and greeting his friend with ersatz enthusiasm.

"Thank you for inviting me over…" Matthew said with genuine gratitude as he followed Tom into the living room. "…it's quite a novelty to be cooked for these days and much nicer than ordering room service in my hotel."

"Yeah, well Sybil's cooking, so you might feel differently once you've tasted it…" Tom replied with a smirk, pausing before adding "…I'm joking, honest!"

"Well I'm really glad that she's happy to have me here…it was great to see her again at the party."

Deep down, Tom wanted to avoid any mention of the party, but knew it would look suspicious if he instantly changed the subject.

He gave a brief cough "Um…it was a good evening, wasn't it? Er…think Cora and Robert really enjoyed having everyone there." It seemed a neutral enough start to the conversation and Matthew smiled and nodded.

"Yes, there aren't many occasions when you can get so many relatives and friends all together at the same time…they had a good mix of all ages there."

Another awkward silence, from Tom's point of view, then followed before Matthew added "Your brother seemed to enjoy his first visit to Downton, was he impressed?"

"Yes, very…" Tom was relieved to reply "…we were there for almost 48 hours so he had a good chance to look around and explore the estate…he'd heard a lot about it of course, so he took it in his stride a bit more than he might have done otherwise."

"I know what I meant to ask you…" Tom tensed at the possibility of Matthew turning the course of the conversation again. "…How's your sister getting on with Aiden's father?"

Feeling on much safer ground, Tom relaxed a little. "Not bad actually, thanks for asking…he's surprised us all, I think."

"Still around and still involved then?"

"Yes…as regularly as Edie will let him really. He was allowed his first solo visit to the park with Aiden last weekend, while she ran some errands and he's talking about moving back down this side of the river so that he can be closer to them."

"And helping her financially, I presume?"

Tom nodded "Yes. She's dropping down to four days a week at work from next month, which she would never have been able to do beforehand, so all our fears seem to have been unfounded for the time being."

"Do you think they'll get back together…romantically, I mean?"

"No" Tom replied firmly. "I have asked her and she has no interest at all. I think it's difficult to completely get over his instinctive reaction to her pregnancy and that killed off any feelings she might have had previously." Matthew nodded his agreement before Tom continued. "Better to have two parents that aren't together, but get on with one another, rather than try unsuccessfully to make a go of it for Aiden's sake and end up hardly able to sit in the same room."

"I agree…" Matthew looked thoughtfully at the opposite wall while Tom scratched his head, wondering what else they could talk about before Sybil returned, the football season having ended and taken with it a large topic of their usual conversation.

"I'm sorry that we left so abruptly last weekend." Matthew suddenly offered and Tom began to fidget awkwardly.

"Yes, well you said that Lavinia wasn't feeling too well" he replied tensely, hoping that his voice wasn't going to squeak with anxiety. Honestly, his acting ability was woeful; he could feel his back starting to perspire at the whole prospect of this particular theme.

"Lavinia and I have gone our separate ways as of this week."

'Oh God…' Tom thought '…where the hell is Sybil?' Instead he offered what he hoped was a sympathetic expression and asked in a slightly jovial tone. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that…were the Crawleys that intimidating?"

Matthew smiled and shook his head. "They were very welcoming to us both…look I don't know if I should tell you this, to be honest…" he lowered his voice" …I don't want to put you in an awkward position or anything."

"Believe me, you couldn't."

"I had a bit too much to drink…nerves really…and ended up…well…" Matthew sighed and briefly laid his head in his hands, before glancing up and whispering "…I bumped into Mary in the hallway and we kissed and Lavinia saw it."

"Ah…awkward." Tom replied with what he was aware must have appeared to be a significant understatement.

Matthew sat back in the armchair and groaned. "I'm still in love with Mary…there's no getting around it…I've tried to convince myself otherwise, but I just can't get her out of my system."

Tom felt considerably brighter on hearing this news and beamed at his friend. "Well that's great!"

Matthew narrowed his eyes "No it isn't…she's going out with that newspaper tycoon now and I'm not sure it meant anything to her except a proper chance to say goodbye."

"Well, you never know…you might be surprised."

"I've been trying to summon up the nerve to contact her but I'm too scared of being knocked back and feeling like an idiot…I'd just like a chance to sit down and talk to her…one to one really."

Tom clapped his hands together involuntarily and Matthew turned with surprise at the sound. "Ah…well… perhaps that opportunity might come up…um, sometime." He shrugged and smiled, the weight of misguided guilt now rising off his shoulders.

"So what would you say to her…you know, if you could persuade her to meet with you?" he asked, feeling almost light-headed with relief.

"That I love her and I miss her and that I'd like us to go back to how we were…forget getting married if that's what she wants, just enjoy being together again."

"That you just can't live without her?" Tom asked.

"Exactly…back to your wise comment about feeling as if I can't breathe without her…I might use that, if you don't mind?"

"Be my guest. Or maybe that you won't be happy with anyone else as long as she walks the earth."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, smiled and then broke into a laugh. "Honestly? Tell me that you didn't make that up yourself?"

With a sheepish grin, Tom offered his admission. "No, I read it in a book a few years ago and thought it was very powerful…I've been saving it…you know, in case I ever needed it, but I'm fairly confident now that I won't…so you may have it with my blessing."

"Well, thank you, although who knows if I'll actually get an opportunity to use it."

"Have faith, my friend…ah Syb, there you are!"

Entering the room, Sybil was immediately struck by how Tom now looked far more relaxed and presumed only that some enjoyable banter with his friend had lightened the mood. She kissed her cousin warmly and went into the kitchen in order to heat up the meal, leaving the men to chat; Matthew placing his finger on his lips while nodding his head in Sybil's direction meant that Tom couldn't help but laugh internally at the hypocrisy of his own solemn nod.

The meal passed without further incident, although Tom subsequently wondered if Matthew had found it in any way odd that Sybil didn't mention Lavinia or the party throughout, choosing instead to steer the conversation to more general and less provocative subjects. She was in the process of cutting up a Marks and Spencer's cheesecake, offering a light apology for not having made anything from scratch, when the doorbell rang.

"Expecting anyone?" Matthew asked and Tom found himself avoiding eye contact by looking down to scratch his ankle and shaking his head. There was minimal noise from the hallway, Sybil having let Mary in with only a silent smile and Matthew was in the middle of relating an amusing story about a Jehovah's Witness who had recently attempted to convert him on his doorstep, when they entered the kitchen behind him.

Tom smiled weakly at Mary over Matthew's head, his earlier unease returning in light of the unknown consequences ahead.

"Hello" said Mary, tipping her head to one side and smiling with an unusual air of discomfort as Matthew spun around in his chair, his mouth opening with shock.

"What?...Did you…how…?" was his incomprehensible response and Sybil glided between the two of them with a confident air.

"You two need to talk." she said and indicated with her head that Tom should stand up from the table.

"Well…we appear to have been set up, Mary" Matthew said as evenly as he could manage and she offered a bashful smile in response.

"I'm afraid I'm in on it…I hope you won't be too cross."

Turning to Tom with an expression of uncertainty, Matthew queried "Did you…?"

"Look…" Tom interrupted, wanting to offer some form of justification "…I didn't want to do this, but I had the weight of two Crawley women against me and I hope you'll appreciate that they're not easy to dissuade…I was bullied into it, Matt and I caved in, but bearing in mind our earlier conversation, I'm hoping you won't hold it against me indefinitely."

Sybil cleared her throat and made a face at Tom until he took the hint and began to move towards her, while Mary and Matthew continued to watch each other with a mixture of delight and uncertainty.

"We'll just be in the living room…" murmured Sybil, ushering Tom out of the room before her and turning to give a brief smile as she leant back to shut the door "…do help yourselves to cheesecake!".

"Well…" Mary began, taking Sybil's previously occupied seat opposite Matthew and pushing her plate to one side. "Shall I begin, before my nerve runs out?"

He nodded, feeling overwhelmed that she was here but still wholly uncertain about her intentions. She cleared her throat and her fingers tapped awkwardly on the table, appearing a little disorientated without a sheath of papers with which to occupy them.

"I just felt that we needed to clear up last weekend and what happened."

"Absolutely" he replied, nodding in what he hoped was a suitably confident manner.

"Obviously what took place was inappropriate bearing in mind we were both accompanied to the party by other people."

"Of course." Matthew's tone was flat in response, now entirely certain that Mary had arrived purely to apologise and ensure that the situation would never be repeated.

"And while I appreciate that you have probably managed to re-establish your relationship with Lavinia after what she witnessed, I would like to…"

"…actually I haven't" he interrupted and Mary stopped, unusually caught off guard by this declaration.

"Oh…then I'm sorry to hear that" she replied almost primly.

"I'm not"

"You're not?"

"No…well obviously I'm very sorry that I've hurt her, because she's a genuinely lovely woman and deserves better…but not from me."

"Right. I see."

"So what about Richard? Did you tell him what happened; are you here to ask me never to refer to it again?"

"No." Mary felt slightly indignant at the way this conversation was progressing. She had expected to be finished with her declaration by this point and Matthew was now throwing her usual single minded concentration with some unexpected cross questioning.

"No you didn't tell him, or no you're not asking me to stay silent?"

"Both actually, but I have ended my…um…romantic relationship with him, although we are of course continuing to work with one another."

Their eyes locked and neither spoke for a moment, each urgently trying to read the other's mind and its intentions.

"Can I ask why?" Matthew was the first to break the silence, his voice on the verge of cracking with anxiety.

Mary took a slow, deliberate breath and nodded. "Because I love you…I've never stopped and I don't think I ever will." She looked down at the table, anticipating an indignant rebuff or self-righteous declaration of the pain she had previously bestowed. "I wish I could turn back the clock nine months and answer your question differently. I know that I hurt you desperately and I can't just eradicate that, but I wanted a chance to tell you that I regret what's happened and that I…" her speech was curtailed by Matthew's hand reaching across the table and covering her own. Taking a hesitant glance up at his face, she was rewarded with an expression of such overwhelming devotion that she knew in an instant that whatever challenges and hurdles might lie ahead in their future, she had no further reason to fear that they could not be overcome.

Matthew's eyes glistened faintly with emotion as he softly rubbed his thumb across her knuckles and brought his other hand forward to caress the inside of her wrist.

"I can't breathe without you in my life" he whispered and if Mary was momentarily surprised by such a sentiment, she at least had the good grace not to show it and smiled generously in response.

"I couldn't be happy if I was walking on the earth…oh bugger no, I've got that wrong…what was it? …um…no, no…if you were walking on the earth…no, completely forgotten it, sorry." He smiled sheepishly at her bemused expression and gave a little laugh.

"Tom gave me a great line earlier and I've cocked it up…thinking about it, he knew you were coming, the crafty devil, I didn't realise it at the time…anyway, it was very romantic but I think I'd have been pushing my luck for you to believe I'd just made it up…Mary, I love you so much and while that might not be the most original line you've ever heard, I promise you that it's the most truthful."

Mary jumped up from her chair and made her way swiftly around the table, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her lips urgently to his.

"Will you marry me?" she muttered, trying desperately to talk and kiss simultaneously.

"We don't have to get married yet…I wanted to say that…I don't know why I was trying to rush things…"

"We should…we should…"

"No, no…it's not necessary…" Matthew stopped and drew his head back from hers, smiling. "Are we having another argument already?"

Mary shook her head with determination. "Of course not…we'll do what all good lawyers do and negotiate until we find a compromise that we're both happy with."

"Good. And where are you staying tonight, may I ask?"

"Well that depends on you." she replied shyly.

Matthew tipped his head to one side in response and offered her a suggestive smile. "I've got a very nice hotel room in Bloomsbury" he whispered.

Mary's face broke into a grin. "Let's go" she replied.

* * *

Sitting on the sofa later that evening, Tom glanced to one side and watched Sybil's persistent smile of satisfaction after the evening's events had run their course.

"Could you look any more smug?" he asked with exasperation and sighed in mock frustration at her subsequent grin.

"You have to admit that on this occasion, meddling worked" she replied with gratification as he reluctantly nodded.

"It's still generally not a good idea to get involved in other people's personal lives though" he couldn't help but add and caught a brief glance of the eye rolling that subsequently ensued.

"Mary and Matthew…Gwen and Kieran…you and me…everyone's going to live happily ever after!" Sybil asserted in a sing song voice and he smiled in spite of his natural scepticism of such declarations. His arm reached around her shoulders and she willingly allowed herself to be drawn closer, turning her head for a soft kiss.

"You know that there's no such thing, don't you?" he asked hesitantly. "Happy Ever After."

"That's not a very comforting thing to say when we're getting married in a few months' time, Tom."

"I know, but I don't mean it like that, I'm not trying to be cynical…just realistic."

Sybil turned to look at him again, narrowing her eyes before she replied. "Do you think I'm so naïve that I believe we'll never argue or get irritated with one another, never feel a bit disillusioned or take each other for granted from time to time?"

"No of course not."

"I've seen my parents' marriage waiver at times…" she continued and Tom's eyebrows shot up in silent astonishment, while he made a mental note to delve deeper into that issue on another occasion "…so I know that there'll be bad times as well as good and that we'll have to work hard to make the latter stronger. Nobody ever says that marriage is easy."

He placed a kiss on side of her head in response. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound patronising."

"I'm just pleased that after a lot of sadness, the people we love most are now happy again…I was eulogising a little, but just for tonight, I want to feel glad about it, that's all."

"And so you should, darling…I just get irritated with that whole sentence 'Happy Ever After', it really annoys me. It's put at the end of books or films to imply that two people coming together or getting married or whatever, is the very end of the story."

Sybil nodded her agreement "When in fact, it's just the beginning of the next."


	17. Epilogue

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

Everybody was in agreement that the bride looked radiant, while the groom appeared noticeably less self-confident than usual. It was his voice that caught briefly during the vows, a short silence during which his wife-to-be offered a reassuring hand and smile before composure was fully restored. He blinked away the tears which emerged unexpectedly when he first saw his bride appear beside him at the altar with her father, attempting to disguise them by staring thoughtfully up at a stained glass window and clearing his throat loudly. It may have fooled the guests seated behind, but not his brother, who patted his back reassuringly and provided a knowing wink.

As they emerged to bright sunshine, albeit with a forceful wind which led many guests to hold firmly onto their hats and fascinators, Tom leaned towards Sybil and enjoyed a long, sensual kiss.

"Alright there Mrs Branson?" he asked, a cheekily suggestive smile appearing on his face.

"Lovely" she replied, beaming with equal fervour as she gazed at her husband, taking time to appreciate how handsome he looked in his morning suit.

"You look absolutely gorgeous" he whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist and squeezing her towards him.

"Daddy!" cried a small voice at their feet and Tom leant down, lifting their daughter high into the air, grinning at her as she squealed with excitement.

"And you look gorgeous too, Eliza. Are you enjoying being a bridesmaid with Mummy?"

"Yes, but when can I play with Aiden?"

"Well Aiden's got an important job to do with me today, just like you and Mummy, but you'll be able to play with him when we get to the place where we're having our dinner, I promise."

"Can I have sausages for dinner?"

Sybil smiled and tickled Eliza's waist to make her giggle. "There'll be lots of nice things to eat…probably not sausages today, but definitely cake!"

"So shall we go over and take our places next to the new Mr and Mrs Branson?" Tom asked, tipping his head towards the rest of the wedding party. "The photographer seems to be getting set up."

"Mr and Dr Branson" Sybil reminded him and he nodded.

"Of course…sorry, yes, how could I forget?…Eliza, are you going to come and give that horseshoe to Auntie Gwen now?"

They walked towards the newlyweds, offering further congratulations to those already offered in the vestry as they had signed the register and Gwen crouched down to gratefully accept her goddaughter's gift.

"These shoes are killing me already" she muttered to Sybil as she stood again, twisting around on a heel.

"I told you to wear them in beforehand."

"I know, I know…I did, but only for about five minutes, so I guess it didn't really do the trick…I'll be dancing barefoot later, I can tell you."

"Come on Gwen, you have to keep up the ladylike appearance for a little longer yet…"

"Right ladies and gentlemen…can we have the bride's parents, the groom's mother, bridesmaids and best men" called the photographer with confident authority, ensuring that everybody could hear him and would respond without excessive delay.

"Where's my other best man?" asked Kieran, turning around "Aiden?"

His nephew, now six and a half, appeared laughing from behind a nearby gravestone and took his allotted place, watched proudly by his beaming mother.

"You did a grand job in there" Kieran told him, shaking his hand. "Better than Uncle Tom, that's for sure." Aiden grinned and turned to give Tom a triumphant high five, copied immediately by Eliza who walked determinedly along with raised hand, requesting a similar greeting from each member of the wedding group.

"Can we have all of the Branson family now?" asked the photographer and Edie stepped forward to stand next to Aiden, followed by Elaine who was holding the hand of Fiona and Niall's elder son Cillian, the younger Oisin being carried by his father.

"I thought I'd never see the day" Elaine murmured, brushing an imaginary mark off the front of Kieran's jacket with pride.

"Mam, we've been together for over five years, it's not that much of a surprise" he protested smiling.

"It is when you know what type of behaviour preceded it" his mother replied smartly.

Kieran reached for Gwen's hand and gave it a squeeze. It was probably a good thing that Elaine didn't know much about Gwen's earlier relationship history, or she might revise the unwavering high opinion she currently had of her new daughter-in-law. A source of great amusement to all of his family was that Gwen had been the one to propose. He had fully intended to ask her once she had finished her foundation training, but she beat him to it four months earlier and popped the question so casually over dinner one Saturday evening that he presumed he had misheard and had asked her to repeat it. Now she was working as a registrar and much to Elaine's disappointment, had announced that there would be no babies on the horizon for at least another three years. Parenthood was something that Kieran looked forward to; however through his siblings' experiences, he was wholly aware of the hard work it entailed and was quite content to forgo the disturbed nights and demanding schedules for the time being.

Eighteen months ago, Kieran had opened his own garage in Tooting; far enough away from Dave's garage in Clapham to avoid stealing his trade, but near enough that they could share resources when one business was busier than the other. Tom had been astonished when Kieran had first raised the prospect.

"I thought you always said that you didn't want that kind of responsibility…watching Dad and all that…you always said you just wanted to do your job and go home."

"Yeah well, I've changed my mind, it's Gwen really."

"With the greatest of respect Kieran, she shouldn't be trying to push you into something so huge that you don't really want to do" Tom had pointed out.

"She isn't…" he had hastily explained. "…she's not put any pressure on me at all…but watching what she's done and knowing that she hasn't found it easy…she inspires me, I think…makes me want to push myself a bit more" he had looked momentarily a little bashful "I think she's made me a better person really."

"That's debatable" his brother had joked and Kieran had responded with a sarcastic grin.

"Anyway, she's at the hospital all hours so it's either work more or drink more and I'm getting a bit old for the latter…I may as well find something more productive to do."

Lending to small unproved businesses was severely restricted by the time he had found a suitable site and he initially presumed that the plan would have to be delayed until the economy showed more promising signs of recovery. However, Sybil had suggested that they invest in the business with money from her trust fund so she and Tom owned a 25% share, while Kieran was paying them back the remaining amount he had borrowed.

Sybil's inheritance had meant that while she was pregnant with Eliza, they were able to move to a three story semi-detached house just a few streets away from her former flat. Tom had wanted to take out a small mortgage that he could personally pay off in order to salvage his pride and conscience, but she had eventually persuaded him of the futility in simply providing a lender with unnecessary profit. Instead, he paid a monthly sum into an investment account which they would leave in trust to their children, hoping that it would offer a helping hand to their first steps on to the property ladder.

As Gwen's family lined up for their family portraits, Tom and Sybil walked over to join the extended Branson family, swinging a squealing Eliza between them.

"Well only one to go now, Elaine" her sister Shelagh said in a congratulatory tone and Edie turned away, rolling her eyes.

"If one more person says that in front of me today…" she muttered to Sybil who provided a sympathetic expression.

"I wish my Mummy would get married" Aiden announced loudly and there was an awkward silence before he continued "I wish my Mummy would marry my Daddy!"

Edie flushed and began to shake her head, crouching down on the ground in front of him; not an easy feat in five inch heels.

"Now we've talked about this Aiden…you know that Mummy and Daddy are very good friends but we're not going to get married…not to each other anyway."

"I know" sighed Aiden, reaching out and holding his mother's hand in a conciliatory manner.

"Anyway, Daddy has a very nice girlfriend now, doesn't he?" she turned her head and mouthed "another one" solely for Sybil's amusement. "You like Suzy, don't you Aiden?"

"Yes" he agreed before cheerfully adding "And you have William!"

Elaine and Shelagh's heads turned so swiftly, her daughter was surprised that they didn't fly off, while a couple of her younger cousins offered a teasing "Oooooh"

"Yes, well…" Edie stood up quickly and wiped her hands nervously on the front of her dress. "He's my friend, Aiden, that's all." She glanced at her mother. "He's talking about the father of one of his schoolmates."

"Is he married?" asked Elaine, her voice a mixture of excitement and dread.

"No…he's never been married, but just like me and Charlie, he gets on fine with the mother and they have shared custody." She could feel her cheeks beginning to burn and hastily concluded. "Anyway, he's just a friend, Mam…stop your plotting."

Charlie had exceeded everybody's expectations with his commitment to fatherhood and Edie had to admit that his involvement had enriched their lives. In a quirky twist of fate, he had moved into Edie's old flat when the Housing Association finally offered a property she could independently afford and Aiden now had a bedroom in each home. His financial involvement had meant that Edie had been able to drop a day at work, now altered to two half days so that she could sometimes pick her son up from school. Surprising everyone, Charlie had then requested flexible working hours from his own employer and now met Aiden at the school gate every Wednesday afternoon, returning him for breakfast club on the Thursday morning before heading off to work.

Shortly after Charlie's relocation to Clapham, the three of them had enjoyed a day out in central London, after which Edie had accepted his offer of a takeaway and glass of wine in his flat. Whether or not her familiarity with the environment had caused her to emit different signals, she wasn't sure, or perhaps she had simply dropped her guard; however there had been a very unfortunate episode in which Charlie had attempted to kiss her and she had been overcome with horror, rebuffing his advances quite brusquely. It could easily have escalated towards a cessation of their hitherto cordial relationship, but thankfully both parties were able to accept proffered apologies and agree to never refer to the matter again. Such a lengthy period of time had since passed that Charlie now had no inhibitions about asking Edie for relationship advice and regaling her with entertaining stories about his dating disasters. She on the other hand, as he so rightly pointed out, revealed very little in exchange, but in all honesty, there hadn't been very much to tell. Working almost full time and looking after the demands of a small child left very few opportunities for socialising, beyond spending time with her brothers and one or two close friends. Now, however, she was cautiously yet excitedly interested in William, who she had first spoken to at the school Christmas Fayre when his son, Josh had been in Reception class with Aiden. Since then they had intermittently bumped into one another at school events and at the playground on the common, but recently the two boys had formed a firm friendship, which had led to play dates being arranged and tentative invitations for coffee. They were both wary, yet unquestionably attracted and Edie had no intention whatsoever of letting her mother know that she had spent the last three Wednesday evenings out with him; drinking, eating, kissing, having fun again at last! She had no idea how Aiden had picked up that the relationship was more than platonic and it was possible that his childlike logic had simply linked them together because, with the exception of his own father, he was her only male friend. Regardless, they had already discussed the sensitive issue of their children being privy to the full nature of their friendship and for the time being had decided to evade any such conversation.

Rather than ask their guests to endure the gridlock of South London's busy streets independently on a Saturday afternoon, the newlyweds had arranged for a retired Routemaster bus to transport them all to the reception venue. Filled with goodwill and camaraderie, they piled aboard; children and teenagers racing up the staircase to sit triumphantly at the top, followed by watchful parents who were equally enjoying the experience, while an elderly aunt found herself shrieking with laughter as she was picked up and lifted unceremoniously onto the back seat. A couple of hipflasks filled with whiskey emerged from an anonymous source and were passed around, lifting spirits further and creating a hearty cheer when the bride raised one to her lips, throwing back her head and taking a large sip.

The merriment inside the vehicle attracted bemused smiles or waves from pedestrians and other motorists during the journey. Kieran challenged Eliza, Cillian and Aiden to see who could elicit the most responses from passers-by; the boys claimed it was a closely won event, but in truth Eliza's angelic expression, long dark curls and pretty bridesmaid dress ensured that she was easily the victor as she stood on her mother's lap and beamed down at the general public.

"Look at that regal wave…" whispered Tom with unconcealed delight "…she's doing her great-grandmother proud there."

Sybil giggled "Could you imagine Granny on a bus though? I'd be surprised if she's ever travelled on one in her entire life."

He nodded, unsurprised by such a suggestion. "But how did we manage to raise such a little princess, eh? She's as much a Dublin mechanic's granddaughter as she is an Earl's, yet you wouldn't know it from looking at her now, would you?"

"Oh Tom, how can you say that when she begs to go down to Kieran's garage on almost a daily basis? Ever since he let her press the button to make the ramp go up and down, it's her favourite place in the world!"

Tom chuckled and suddenly exhaled loudly as Eliza turned around and flung herself on to his lap. Sybil waved to a couple of elderly ladies waiting at a bus stop who were smiling and pointing, then glanced to her side, watching the Earl of Grantham's granddaughter being held upside down by her father, dress hanging over her head and knickers on show to all while she screeched with elation. She would soon be three and while Sybil couldn't be entirely certain for another few days, she had a strong suspicion that there might be a sibling along to join her in eight or so months' time. She wasn't going to mention anything to Tom until she knew for sure; not after having got it so spectacularly wrong five years ago, but she better understood the natural rhythms of her own body nowadays and would be easing off the champagne today, just in case.

Sybil had been promoted to a higher grade at work shortly before their wedding, four years ago and wanting to prove herself at the next level, they had decided to wait six months before trying to start their family. Anticipating that it would take a little while, and with Sybil at that point having little faith in deciphering her own symptoms, they had been astonished yet elated when the pregnancy test had declared 'Positive' at the end of the first month. She had been horribly sick over the following eight or nine weeks; not morning sickness she had declared, but morning, noon and night sickness and the thought of it had deterred her from wanting another baby in the meantime. However, they both yearned for Eliza to have a sibling and the memory of those unpleasant two months was now beginning to fade a little. She had taken ten months off work after the birth, returning only two and a half days a week. Miss Dawson continued to hold her in high regard and she had been successful in her recent application to assist with a new research project one day a week. There were sporadic occasions when, after an uneventful day in which her role had been particularly routine, or witnessing Gwen's fulfilment in her job, she wondered if her decision to abandon thoughts of medical school had been foolish. However, she was mostly very satisfied in her role and was aware that her priorities had altered entirely since her daughter's arrival. What would have been arduous without a small child, seemed nigh on impossible once the full reality of having her was in place.

Tom remained at The Guardian, promoted last year to Senior Political Correspondent and had appeared on both the BBC and Sky news channels on several occasions, invited to provide an alternative viewpoint against a journalist from a more right wing publication. He wasn't entirely comfortable being questioned under bright studio lights, but Sybil loyally recorded any segment in which he appeared and having subsequently reviewed them, he now conceded that he looked a little more relaxed and certainly less startled than his very first appearance.

The guests disembarked at the hotel in which the reception was taking place; rewarded with drinks and canapés as they stretched their legs around the grounds, watching over excited children race around the lawn.

"Syb, can you help me in the loo?" whispered Gwen surreptitiously after she and Kieran had greeted everyone and been told that they would be seated for dinner within a few minutes.

"Really? Isn't that taking our friendship a step too far?" joked Sybil, indicating to Tom that she was leaving the room and that he was in charge of their daughter.

"Oh you're used to changing nappies, it shouldn't faze you, surely?! I'm not sure I can get the garter and suspender back on again afterwards with all this netting under my dress…honestly, it's not a practical look, is it…it's a good thing it's only one day."

"Eliza's been out of nappies for two months now actually…I'm having a brief reprieve."

Gwen turned her head with startled curiosity."Brief?" she asked with a smile and Sybil felt her cheeks blush at the slip. "Something you're not telling me, Syb?"

"Don't tell Tom!" Sybil hissed and Gwen's eyes widened with surprise.

"Really? Am I the first to know?" she asked excitedly. "Tell him tonight…go on…have a slow dance and whisper it in his ear…"

"No I won't because not even I know for sure, that's why…I just might be that's all, but I'm not going to say anything to him until I know for definite…do NOT say anything to Kieran, do you understand?" Gwen's response was a broad and devious looking grin. "Please" her friend begged.

"My lips are sealed…right well you'll be sober so that's good…I need you to make sure that I don't get too drunk."

"I'm not taking responsibility for your behaviour any more; you have a husband to look after you now!"

"Well he's no use, I need Tom to keep an eye on him…honestly, neither of us has any sense of self-limitation at social occasions, we need to be monitored for our own good."

"You won't get drunk, you won't get the chance, honestly…I can tell you from my own experience that someone hands you a drink, you take one sip, put it down to talk to someone, then somebody else comes to chat to you and an hour later you wonder where on earth you put it. Tom and I were the most sober people at our wedding. You're either in high demand with your guests or out on the dance floor."

"I can hardly remember your wedding…" sighed Gwen ruefully "…that speaks volumes."

Sybil smiled as she thought back to their big day, more than four years previously. She felt as if she could still recollect every second from the time she had woken up, over excited at just after 5am, until she and Tom had finally fallen asleep almost 24 hours later. Their initial concern about Cora's intentions to make it a grander affair than they wished were quashed once Mary and Matthew announced their engagement and objective to wed the subsequent year. It was their nuptials which offered the family an opportunity for extravagance and spectacle, leading the Yorkshire Post to refer to it as 'The County's Royal Wedding'. Tom and Sybil's celebration was undertaken within more restrained circumstances, although as Elaine had pointed out, being able to host 150 people under a marquee in your back garden was hardly the sign of a modest event.

Mary had achieved her ambition of becoming a partner within her firm before she married, while as expected Matthew had reached the same position within his own organisation a few months earlier. They remained in their respective posts for another year before moving to York and setting up their own practice. It was taking some time to establish a leading reputation, but their projections had been realistic within the current economic climate and they were confident that it would continue to grow over the coming years. Continuing with her innate requirement for forward planning, although she insisted that all such proposals were these days open to negotiation, led Mary to declare next year as 'Operation Baby'. Even prior to its conception, she was already planning a return to her desk within three months of giving birth, although Sybil was quietly confident that such ambition would be curtailed once the child had arrived.

Edith remained the only sister who was unwed. After taking Sybil's advice several years earlier, she had proposed to Anthony, only for his instinctive dithering about another marriage and the prospect of a second bout of parenthood to leave them both with unexpected doubts. After a great deal of heart-breaking discussion, they had parted and the family had feared for Edith's long-term happiness. However, a few months later at Tom and Sybil's wedding, she had been introduced to Michael Gregson, Tom's Political Editor and now a good friend. Despite his recent separation leading to a very unpleasant divorce and on-going custody battle, they remained together and Edith divided her time between her Farm Shop in Yorkshire and its Knightsbridge outlet. Deliberately blurring the lines between aristocracy and royalty, she had an enthusiastic clientele of mainly tourists; the brand having achieved a good reputation in parts of the Middle East and Japan.

It was perhaps to be expected that Gwen and Kieran's wedding would be a more raucous affair than Sybil and Tom's; Gwen's mother descended from Irish parents and the band catered to sentimentality for the Emerald Isle as well as providing more current renditions in order to tempt the younger generation on to the dance floor.

Midway through the evening, Sybil stood at the edge of the room with Edie, watching Tom attempt to bounce around to a reasonably accomplished Beyoncé cover version with Eliza on his shoulders, while his cousin Daniel fruitlessly attempted to teach Aiden to spin on the floor with his shoulders.

"He'll break his neck in a minute" muttered Edie anxiously, stepping forward and shaking her head before her son conceded defeat and resorted to throwing his arms around wildly instead.

"How are you feeling now about Charlie taking him away for the week?" asked Sybil. Although he had regularly stayed overnight with his father and had visited his grandparents in Lincolnshire for weekends, in a few days' time he was flying to Majorca for seven nights. Charlie had generously invited Edie to accompany them, but she didn't want to set an unwelcome precedent for the future and felt that it might blur the lines for Aiden. Days out as a family were an acceptable compromise in her opinion, but she didn't want to encounter any awkward circumstances regarding sleeping arrangements or shared facilities.

"Well…" she began thoughtfully, pulling a face as she once again considered the prospect. "On one hand I'm dreading it and I've got to pull myself together so that I don't cry when they leave and upset him. I mean, I think it's good for them to spend good quality time together and let's face it, I can't afford to take him anywhere like that; he'll love it." She glanced at Sybil and allowed the corners of her mouth to turn upwards before adding in a mischievous whisper. "But apparently William is free ALL of the first weekend and for most of the second, so you know…I'm sure I'll manage to occupy myself somehow!"

As the evening passed and Eliza's natural exuberance faded through exhaustion, she sat wearily on Elaine's lap, thumb in mouth and watched the proceedings through glazed eyes, firmly holding an ear of her beloved stuffed elephant. Tom took the opportunity to pull Sybil on to the dance floor during a slower number and wrapped his arms around her, dropping his head to place a soft kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Enjoyed yourself?" he asked smiling as she nodded with enthusiasm.

"It's been such a lovely day...just wonderful."

"I keep thinking back to ours."

"Me too…it was absolutely perfect, wasn't it?"

Tom wrinkled his nose and Sybil opened her mouth in indignation at the suggestion of any potential flaw.

"I could have passed on Isis throwing up all over my shoes" he teased.

"Oh yes, I'd forgotten about that…well, that's what happens when you overfeed a dog under the table."

"It was Kieran if you remember…only she kindly moved along to find me in order to be sick."

"She knew who the most important man in the room was."

"Still, there aren't many homes which have scented shoe liners to hand in a drawer."

"Mrs Hughes has everything to hand."

"But apart from scrubbing vomit off my shoes mid-way through the proceedings, it was perfect, yes."

"I think Kieran and Gwen were the last ones standing at ours…weren't they still up when the first guests rose for breakfast?"

"I don't think Kieran was still able to stand by that point actually."

"Do you think they'll be the last up tonight?"

"I'd hope they've got more important things to do later." Tom paused and smiled "And they're unlikely to have a two year old crawling in between them…she won't stay in her bed you know, once she realises that she's sharing a room with us."

"Never mind, it won't hurt for one night."

Sybil dropped her head on to her husband's shoulder and he held her tightly; each momentarily lost within their own thoughts about their marriage and its consequential rewards.

"We've been so lucky" she murmured

"That we have…even if, for whatever reason, we can't have another one, we've been incredibly blessed with her." Sybil smiled to herself, tempted to share her suspicions but willing herself to stay silent until she had a definitive result.

As the song ended, the couple remained silent, holding hands and smiling conspiratorially at one another under the dimmed lights. There were softly murmured endearments and gazes of wistful longing before Sybil turned to glance at their daughter, her eyelids now drooping in her grandmother's arms.

"I think we're going to have to take her up" she conceded reluctantly and Tom nodded his agreement.

As they gently placed pyjamas on the little girl and tried to slip her under the duvet without disturbance, a pair of bright blue eyes suddenly darted open, now worryingly alert.

"Mummy, can you get married please so I can be a bridesmaid again?" she asked urgently and her parents smiled indulgently.

"We already are married sweetheart…remember the big photograph in our living room?"

"And the hall…and the kitchen…and the study…and our bedroom" added Tom. Sybil had been very generous with her distribution of memories around the house.

"But why didn't you let me come?!" Eliza wailed with indignant outrage.

"Because you hadn't been born by then, darling."

"Was I in your tummy?"

"No, not then."

"Then, where was I?"

"Oh goodness" Sybil considered thoughtfully "This is too big a theory for a little girl so late at night…um, you were in our minds."

"And a twinkle in Daddy's eye" added Tom with amusement before Sybil glared at him for adding to an already bewildering concept.

"Can you tell me all about it?" Eliza asked, trying to sit up, but Sybil stroked her forehead and gently pushed her back down, tucking the duvet tightly around her.

"Of course, sweetheart, but not right now. Another day…it's a story for another day."

**THE END**

_As I have so cruelly denied you an opportunity to witness Tom and Sybil's wedding (only because I wanted a longer period of time to have elapsed for the purposes of this epilogue), I will do a one-shot about it in the not too distant future._

_Thank you very much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and added as their favourite both Perfect Delivery and Walls Come Tumbling Down. According to the statistics I can access, around 350 people are reading on a regular basis, so I am very grateful to you, wherever most of you may be hiding! (You know you can leave guest reviews, right?!) As I have already mentioned individually to some people, I feel as if I've taken Tom and Sybil's story as far as it can go, so I won't be doing a multi-chaptered follow up. My passion for writing fiction has been reignited and I will definitely continue, but as yet I am undecided about exactly what or where. Your support and encouraging comments have been sincerely appreciated._


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